Brian Cross

We get reusable bags here too but they are lot smaller than the ones you get in the U.K you would be lucky to get three loaves of bread in them and they cost 99cents.

Ta Merlin....

I will look forward to that one Merlin

I have been told the Ridge Farm is closing and reopening as a Indian any truth.

O.K just one more.. Interesting piece of history In 1872 the Kiwi's invented the condom, using a sheep's bladder. In 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the sheep first.

sorry lads i will stop for a while its just my twisted sense of humor

Two Little Boys After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddles through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother ran to the yard in a panic. 'Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!' she asked as she spoke in anger. 'We were just playing 'Church' mommy,' he said. 'I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in...the hole-he-goes.'

Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me." The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is. Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!" The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge !" The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger." Don't you just LOVE lawyers?!

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, 'Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.' Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, 'Sister Mary Katherine , you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.' Sister Mary Katherine said, 'Hard bed.' 'I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said, 'We will get you a better bed.' After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. 'You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine .. 'Cold food,' said Sister Mary Katherine , and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. 'You may say two words today.' 'I quit,' said Sister Mary Katherine .. 'It's probably best', said the Priest, 'You've done !*!@# all but moan since you've been here.'

A doctor from Israel says, "In Israel the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work." The German doctor comments, "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work." A Russian doctor says, "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work." The U.S. doctor answers immediately, "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us... in the USA (about a year ago) we grabbed a person with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him President of the United States, and now... the whole country is looking for work."

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, Wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still Heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure . A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my Testicles black?' Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.' He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles Black?' Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment And sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and His testicles in the other, lifting and moving them Around. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's Nothing wrong with them, Sir !!' The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and Says very slowly, 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen Very, very closely..... . ' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - back ?

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor? 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.' A week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid!... Just terrible, doctor!' 'Really? .......What happened?' asked the doctor. 'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!' 'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?' '!*!@# jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in 'McDonalds' again!

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The blonde said it was hers. 'Your dog seems to be in heat,' the officer said. The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.' The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.' 'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.' The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!' (You gotta love this) .... The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'

That looks very picturesque Vic are you glad ?

Nice to hear from you Tom Tom

And what were they up to .

Yes Vic 1961 sounds good the Vulcan was a great aircraft and it was good to see it fly over us, Wollongong is a great city i have not been back there for a few years now...........cheers Vic

A long time ago i can remember a Vulcan flying over our home in Wollongong N.S.W, when we lived there, it was on a non stop flight around the world i can't remember the year i know i was fairly young at the time...good memory

Hi Claire......Where is the Toby carvery located...

I thought i had problems at my end over here ...glad its sorted...

Whats does the menu have on it I might try it when we come back next year.cheers Denzel.

Wish we had him here too (ya all)

We call ours Vegemite Probably same thing eh ?

Hi Doglover Believe me i am not of the younger generation but the atmosphere in the bank top was bad ........

Does it swing past Hervey Bay ?