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Posts posted by Malcolm Robinson
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Classey!
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That looks like the disabled picnic bench Foxy?
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Also BTW where other towns get professional horticulturists in to do their hanging baskets and tubs we did the whole lot ourselves! Well with a lot of help from friends and press ganged 'volunteers'!
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Canny lass,
now if you ask on the facebook page you might get the answer!
BTW,
We got Highly Commended last night. Sorry I can't post the pictures up here until I get rid of this dammed virus!
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So you like Mornington Crescent too!
Not that I understood much of it.........
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No just a certain temperament!
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OHHHHHHHHHHH....get her!
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I see TV's Maverick and later Rockford Files actor James Garner has stopped taking sugar.
Liked his stuff.
I will let Adam do his eulogy as normal!
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Who do we write to Maggie?????
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Good luck Vic...
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You don't know the half merc!
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The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are
well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
(So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
(Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs
and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
(That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
(brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.
Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his
diaper and wraps it around his head.
(now we're getting somewhere)
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My mate Paddy rang me and said he's just got this bargain coat from House of Frazer. Originally it was £400 but he got it for just £25. He said it was supposed to be slightly imperfect but he's had a look all over and the only thing he can find is one sleeve slightly longer than the other two!
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Im starting to take this drink driving thing seriously now . Left the car in the pub car park last night & took the bus home. Quite proud of myself really I've never driven a bus before.
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Just watched the Lance Armstrong interview. He lied to us so much and for so long I'm starting to doubt he landed on the moon at all.
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People should lay off Lance Armstrong I think what he achieved was amazing... When I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike!
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Go to Facebook and 'like' the new Bedlington in Bloom page so we can show the judges how much support there is for this in our Town!
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Well that sounds like fighting talk Merc!
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Thats the problem Eggy and Northumberland Tourism should be taken to task for allowing it on their site!
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Cops Seize Drink.
in Chat Central
Posted
http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/local-news/bedlington-police-seize-large-quantity-7335265#.U88DImR4pkA.facebook