Hamburger Pimp

I would drink in a pub where there was the prospect of bloody oomph. I love owt like that, me. Love it.

There is also much sterling work done at The Bank Top. Good beer, fruity young barmaids, toon matches, free bait at half-time... All good, nothing bad.

I often call in here for some sasparilly and corn dogs, while watching the NASCAR on the big screen. Formidable! PS You forgot the Railway. The best pub in the Bedlingtonshire area.

Time to lose the hat?

Sorry that you're feeling old, but at least you've got the key of the door now. Many happy returns and that.

Happy 2009, predictioneerers! December 2008 ended with a blanket finish at the line, it literally couldn't have been more exciting. Scores on doors: MrDarn 42 pts Supermac 41 TonyC 41 Geddy 38 Denzel 34 PDean 34 Hamburger Pimp 29 Dave Pa 28 Hats off to Mr Darn for a well-earned victory that shows that the real way to get maximum enjoyment from a prediction league is to simply eschew the whole guessing element and joylessly type 1-1 for every single game. That's livin', alright. At the seamy end of the table some negligence on the part of Dave Pa allowed yours truly to avoid the wooden spoon. As Homer Simpson said, the two sweetest words in the language are "de fault!" The moving finger of time moves on, we arrive in January innocent and blinking, back to life, back to humanity, back to zero points. Keep flicking to kick!

Bought by the golf club membership.

Nice one, Pete.

Hooray! Much obliged, Supermac! It's going to be the best Christmas ever this year.

Q. What did TV funnyman Frank Carson say when he was served a traditional Greek dish comprising layers of aubergine, minced lamb and tomato? A. It's a moussaka!!!!!!111!!!!!!BREAKABLEPLATES!!!!1!!!!!

Q. What did TV funnyman Frank Carson say after he switched his mortgage from a fixed-rate interest deal to one which fluctuated as the bank's base rate rose and fell? A. It's a tracker!!!!11!!!!2%!!!!!!!CREDITCRUNCH!!!!!!!!!!11!!

Can't we celebrate the birth of our Lord the baby Jesus with a few joke funnies without resorting to the language of the billiard hall and the locker room? Q. What did TV funnyman Frank Carson say when confronted by a mythological squid-like sea monster? A. It's a Kraken!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!HARRYHAUSEN!!!111!!!!!!

Yes.

Q. What did TV funnyman Frank Carson say when given a DVD box set of a popular ITV drama featuring Robbie Coltrane as a psychological profiler. A. Excellent, I always enjoyed Coltrane's performance of the hard-bitten, misanthropic Fitz. This is a classic slab of intelligent British TV drama!!!!!!1111!!!!!!NOTREALLYHESAIDITSACRACKER!!!!111!!!!!!

Q. What did TV funnyman Frank Carson say when given a savoury, salty biscuit, ideal for eating with cheese? A. It's a cracker!!!!!111!!!!!!COMEHERETHERESMORE!!!!!!!!11!!!!ORWASTHATJIMMYCRICKET!!!11!!!!

Q. What did TV funnyman Frank Carson say when given a festive cardboard cylinder which, when pulled apart, contained a paper hat, a party novelty and a riddle? A. It's a cracker!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!MYWIFESSOFAT!!!!!!!!111!!!

Ooh, she's a charmer, isn't she?

Q. What did Santa have for dinner the day after one of his reindeer broke its leg? A. Donner kebab!!!!!!111!!!!!PLENTYONIONS!!!!11!!

A bit blue, that one. Q. What is the favourite Christmas carol among members of the Pools Panel? A. Away Win a Manger!!!!!!!111!!!!8SCOREDRAWS!!!!!!

Not for nothing, but have you ever been out in Bedlington? You don't need internet access to get the above "perception".

Howay Blyth!

Quite a serious allegation to be making, no?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fGEVgbfaPbA

Why isn't Bombay Nights called Mumbai Nights, eh? Riddle me that and stay fashionable.

Low - Just like Christmas