Hamburger Pimp

Alright you crazy sports fans, enough with the Private Messages asking about the latest scores. Here they be: 1 hamburger pimp 14 2 pdean 11 3 SuperMac 11 4 Mr Darn 5 Pretty exciting, what?

Hope you are feeling better soon, TokyoGirl. I assume this is a typo or have you given birth to a baby of similar proportions to Godzilla?

It's a big ask. The table at present: 1 hamburger pimp 10 2 pdean 4 3 SuperMac 4 4 Mr Darn 0 New members always welcome.

Now we are three. We welcome Super Mac to the fray. I expect him to have a darn good go at the predictions game. Join us...

Good man, Pete. If you build it, they will come. I believe it was Peter Stringfellow who said that. Roll up, folks. Don't let me and Pete have all the fun!

Reckon you know what's what about football? Think you're pretty smart, huh? Well, what better way to prove it than by competing in the inaugural Bedlington Premier League Prediction League, eh? Here's the science bit: Go to this site: http://www.predictthepremiership.com Register your username, then activate your membership. Then go to "Mini-Leagues", press the "join league" button and enter the access code 13450 to join the Bedlington League. Once you're in, simply enter your predictions for the next set of Premier League fixtures.

Let the air be black with tossed hats in celebration of a notable achievement for our beloved moderator. After many years of hesitation and prevarication, MissVic has finally made the bold step and taken the plunge. She's washed her nets! I joke of course. Missvic is now Mrsvic, having recently gone and got married. Best wishes to the both of them.

The seven people who have voted The North as the best pint in town want their heads examining. As much as I love the dear old place, the draught beer in there is rotten. Rotten.

Wutchoo talkin' 'bout, Dave?

Hola!

Good luck with whatever you do next.

All the best, Bar Lass. Don't be a stranger on here. I hear they now have the internet in South Shields.

Once you've popped your clogs, you can't stop.

Dyslexic.

YMCA

Graham Norton, the music of Queen, men in skirts, bagpipes and guitar solos. It doesn't get any worse than that.

He drinks in the Budge, sipping white wine with his Apple Mac-loving gang of effeminate designers and marketing types. You may have seen his grafitti, neatly spray-painted slogans such as "STEVE JOBS IS LUSH!", "PCs R GAY" and "MACS ROOL 4 EVA".

In-bred.

I can confirm that there are two, count 'em two, diddy bats still in situ. Additionally, the pool table has been re-covered with a top quality baize and now runs as straight and true as the most exacting cuesman could desire. Hooray for The North!

Also had problems accessing various internet sites today. Re your 7" problem, use Hammersnipe

Use Audacity. Audacity.

One "dedicated" Cardiff City supporter has taken it upon himself to recreate every stage of his team's progress to Wembley using the medium of animated Lego figures in a Subutteo arena. Genius.

Brighton?

The verdict on Sunday's final fixture: Another blank day for Keggy's troops as a Newcastle side short of Barton and Viduka lose 2-0 to Everton.