Hamburger Pimp

The Tour of Britain cycling race comes to Bedlington this Friday, the riders passing through on the way from storm-torn Morpeth. The field includes, among other, Olympics hero Bradley Wiggins. Itinerary here Anyone going to watch this rare taste of national sport?

Mike Ashley has cleared the club's debt and put a proper, sustainable set-up in place that will see the club progress in a sensible, managable way by recruiting young, improving players. Keegan spat his dummy and walked out on the club when he didn't get the freedom to splurge ridiculous money on has-beens like Beckham and Henry. For the third time he's quit the club, only this time he may not do so weighed down with a massive bundle of the club's cash. Support the club Newcastle United, don't be fooled by the cult of personality that surrounds Keegan. The rest of the country has long since seen him for what he is, a nice bloke but a flawed football manager, unable to deal with pressure. Time for Newcastle to move on.

A new low, Malcolm.

That online auction site that is in no way as good as Free Bedlington.co.uk Classifieds.

I heard that the North team were all mortal drunk as they took the field for the final game. For shame!

Welcome back, Bedlington Bears. You damn right, sister!

Alright you crazy sports fans, enough with the Private Messages asking about the latest scores. Here they be: 1 hamburger pimp 14 2 pdean 11 3 SuperMac 11 4 Mr Darn 5 Pretty exciting, what?

Hope you are feeling better soon, TokyoGirl. I assume this is a typo or have you given birth to a baby of similar proportions to Godzilla?

It's a big ask. The table at present: 1 hamburger pimp 10 2 pdean 4 3 SuperMac 4 4 Mr Darn 0 New members always welcome.

Now we are three. We welcome Super Mac to the fray. I expect him to have a darn good go at the predictions game. Join us...

Good man, Pete. If you build it, they will come. I believe it was Peter Stringfellow who said that. Roll up, folks. Don't let me and Pete have all the fun!

Reckon you know what's what about football? Think you're pretty smart, huh? Well, what better way to prove it than by competing in the inaugural Bedlington Premier League Prediction League, eh? Here's the science bit: Go to this site: http://www.predictthepremiership.com Register your username, then activate your membership. Then go to "Mini-Leagues", press the "join league" button and enter the access code 13450 to join the Bedlington League. Once you're in, simply enter your predictions for the next set of Premier League fixtures.

Let the air be black with tossed hats in celebration of a notable achievement for our beloved moderator. After many years of hesitation and prevarication, MissVic has finally made the bold step and taken the plunge. She's washed her nets! I joke of course. Missvic is now Mrsvic, having recently gone and got married. Best wishes to the both of them.

The seven people who have voted The North as the best pint in town want their heads examining. As much as I love the dear old place, the draught beer in there is rotten. Rotten.

Wutchoo talkin' 'bout, Dave?

Hola!

Good luck with whatever you do next.

All the best, Bar Lass. Don't be a stranger on here. I hear they now have the internet in South Shields.

Once you've popped your clogs, you can't stop.

Dyslexic.

YMCA

Graham Norton, the music of Queen, men in skirts, bagpipes and guitar solos. It doesn't get any worse than that.

He drinks in the Budge, sipping white wine with his Apple Mac-loving gang of effeminate designers and marketing types. You may have seen his grafitti, neatly spray-painted slogans such as "STEVE JOBS IS LUSH!", "PCs R GAY" and "MACS ROOL 4 EVA".

In-bred.