Hamburger Pimp

As the wheel turns and October becomes November, a new star rises in the East. Take a bow TonyC with a table-topping 13 pts. Those standings in full: TonyC 13 pts Supermac 9 Hamburger Pimp 6 Geddy2112 6 Mr Darn 3 PDean 0 Pull yer socks up, Pete! http://www.predictthepremiership.com/

It's all over for October in the predictioning league that slept with your granddaughter. Supermac 33 pts Mr Darn 29 TonyC 28 Hamburger Pimp 26 PDean 19 Geddy2112 19 Hats off to a popular winner in the form of Supermac. Hard luck to Pete, caught unawares by the midweek fixtures and scoring no points in the crucial last round. You snooze, you lose. Still, the weekend sees us start again from scratch as we push aside the pumpkins and witch costumes and surge on into November. Keep 'em peeled, sports fans!

Just when you thought the grand-daughter's standards couldn't get any lower.

The names of Ross and Brand are to be added to the Sachs Offenders Register.

Friends, countrymen, fellow predictioneers, a moment's silence for JFK's beaten men, humbled by a ragtag bunch of mackem kick'n'rush merchants. A bad business. Grumblings aside, what a week in the BedPredLiga, as Supermac has once again shown her class, streaking away into another commanding lead. Supermac 26pts Mr Darn 21 Hamburger Pimp 20 PDean 19 TonyC 14 Geddy2112 14 Don't forget to get your thinking heads on and submit your predictions for the upcoming mid-week fixtures. See you next time!

Cowabunga, dudes, the BeddyPreddy League just keeps on keeping on! As October builds to a frantic, shuddering climax, it's literally nip and tuck at the top of the table. Supermac 15 pts Pdean 14 Mrdarn 14 Hamburger Pimp 14 Geddy 12 TonyC 10 Get those predictions in now!

Tesco: The Future

I think they were called Repertoire of Dogs. They were gash.

Ah, Ms Hair. I hear you're selling your underwear online to Japanese businessmen these days. Or something. A brisk trade, I hope?

There was a burst water main this morning. The water was off in Cramlington (and presumably, Bedlington) for a while.

Damn, she's good! The latest standings Supermac 12pts PDean 8 Mr Darn 8 TonyC 7 Geddy2112 7 Hamburger Pimp 6 What a stupid bliddy game!

Did the telegraph from Her Maj the Queen arrive then?

You must be going to the wrong places.

Ahoyhoy, Bill!

Joe Kinnear meets the gentlemen of the press Contains some bad language.

Alberta isn't expecting a visit from Sarah Palin anytime soon, is it? That would settle your marauding deer problem.

Enough already with the pleas and entreaties for an update. I'm on it like a pigeon on sick. Final standings for September and it liderally couldn't have been closer. Hamburger Pimp 22 pts Supermac 21 pts TonyC 13 pts MrDarn 11pts PDean 6 pts Geddy2112 0 pts. A nail-biting contest that went all the way to the wire. Despite all his big talk, Pete has gone right off the boil and brought up the rear this month. A big BedPredLeague welcome to Geddy aka Merlin, who will doubtless be using his mystical powers to challenge for honours in the big month of October. Happy predictioneering, folks!

Well done, Cympil. I, for one, welcome our new female predictioneering overlords. A big BedPredLeague welcome to TonyC, who has stepped up to the plate, doubtless feeling that a bunch of pantywaists who get beat off a lass should prove to be "simple" enough to see off. Let the mayhem continue!

Never mind the fuss and furore over the national team, Keggy and Ashley leaving toon and Roy Keane falling out with that FIFA chap, let us concentrate on the main event in the footballing world, the Bedlington Predicting League. Because of the unique way in which the league is structured, we begin anew each month. Anybody feeling left out, just jump on board and you can be alive and kicking with the fray. In shock news, we have a new leader. Step forward and take a bow Supermac, whoever you are. The table: 1. Supermac 9pts 2. Hamburger Pimp 7 3. Mr Darn 3 4. Pete 3 Keep pressing and guessing, folks!

What a pack of scruffs. That said, I did used to go see The Mega City Four at the Riverside. About four or five times, I think, although they did get rubbish pretty quickly after their debut album "Transophobia". Happy days.

Riders from the prestigious Yellow and Blue team battling their hated Blue and Yellow rivals, all the while wondering what were they thinking of putting that gold glitter stuff up at The Grapes.

Some more velocipedoes, watched by the staff at Ladbrokes and a well-fed lady in a red jumper.

Some more chaps on bikes:

They finally got to Bedlington, half an hour later than advertised. Then, they were gone. I think there were more motorcyclists than cyclists. There go the leaders...

Setanta have announced that the highlights of tonight's game versus Croatia will be available to watch free of charge on Setanta Sports at 10.45 tonight (Sky channel 423, Freeview channel 34) Just to let you know.