Denzel

Who would've thought Arch was set up to feather the nests of certain locals?

Shame the St Bedes parking campaign was an abject failure; the same idiot parents park where they want, just so little Poppy/Oscar don't have to get their shoes covered in Bedlington grime.

Typical gobby ex-miner, the world owes him a living.

Oh aye, visiting Bedlington without informing us eh Pete?

Wey it's furnace bank man!

Surely tackling the litter problem would've been a better use of funds than some statues? People are too concerned about 'leaving their mark' rather than tackling the mundane, everyday problems of the here and now.

I have a sneaky feeling you are my next door neighbour.

Zany, wacky, mental and crazy. People who grow moustaches are muckle funny.

Nee idea kidda.

What's the crack?

This is the kind of positive attitude I like to hear. Trilby doffed your way Mr Darn sir.

I'm looking forward to sampling a vast array of strong ciders.

There can't be many postmen who would have much of a need for mini-skirts, spangly boob-tubes and fake tan.

Alzheimer's is a terrible affliction Pete, but I'm sure a few cheeky pints of Guinness should help you along.

It's all true, I have found what I was looking for.

Just be careful John, I know from personal experience just how Hamburger Pimp works, he'll have your job before you know it. Additionally, I'll definitely be tuning in if you're going to be playing some Bob Seger. 'The Famous Final Scene' would be nice. Thanks in advance.

The Ridge Farm has never been great, it's just cheap. The Three Horse Shoes is far superior. Apart from the real ale buffs who get in.

Chinchilla's do an excellent kebab Calzone.

I'm very much looking forward to sampling Zoe's Baps. I'll be asking for a sausage sandwich.

I have been in there a few times recently, and slaked my thirst with a few refreshing pints of well-kept Strongbow. I'm becoming quite accustomed to the place now, and the addition of Suicidal Tendencies on the jukebox only adds to the atmosphere.

I gather The Market Tavern feature up-and-coming troubadours at the weekend, where hip-kids like Hamburger Pimp hang out, plimsolls tapping away to the beat.

'Hey Andy, should we let the papers or the shelf-stackers know about it first?'

As long as I still have easy access to some quality hack, they can do what the heck they like.

Just noticed this. RIP Joe you owld curmudgeon, you'll be sadly missed.

Is that you dad?