Denzel

Later tonight.

Can't count that as a Goal of the Season contender, there's no way he meant to score from there. Steven Gerrard should get the gong.

I'm amazed Mr Neck read an article despite Steven Gerrard's name not appearing in it, or commenting on the Bindipper's latest transfer targets. Forza Milano!

Super duper Hooper!

You're crackers you lad. Crease me up everytime.

Evidence?

I'm amazed the post has survived.

Yes, apparently the sight of your correspondent 'vexed' was upsetting a few people. This country.

Did they have schools in those days Pete?

Were they full of vile invective? Words like 'mott' and stuff like that?

Yes. I'm leaving you, you cow.

Ms Hair uses one of them to put her make up on.

No mention of the myriad of !*!@# available in Bedlington?

I love tales of bingo-related derring-do.

Obi Wan has not taught you well.

Stick a pie crust on Bugs and he'll be fine.

Think of her as our very own Big Brother incarnate. Dressed as Dusty Springfield.

How the hell did I get dragged into this?

The shows are class. I love pikeys me.

I'm no paraffin supporter thank you.

Jism by the sounds of it.

A version of Monopoly featuring Bedlington?! Give your heads a shake.

Gerrin!

I'm not going fishing.