Denzel

Let's hear it for beer and tabs.

Sod Wetherspoons, their pubs are always full of work-shy low lifes.

Let's av a good ol' cockernee knees-ap rand the old Joanna.

A good appetite is a sign of virility.

Where the band actually have talent, and don't need people to write songs for them, or play instruments for them. unlike most pop singers.

So we can assume that the works of Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra and many Motown artists is inferior to that produced by talented muso's like Rammstein?

I hope you're as flippant should you ever suffer from an abcess. Nasty feckers them.

Who?!

Yep, they've done away with the cistern, just going to have a little table at ideal cocaine-snorting height.

It's OK, students get a discount.

Step forward Mr Collymore of Bedlington

Aha! Another reference to my supposed predeliction for 'dogging'. Hats off to you.

Well it was open when I drove past earlier so looks like some of them have been left behind.

£11.50 for him to put his tool in your mouth? I think it's a bargain.

Taking over the Sun Inn........don't be silly

Why don't you and Mrs Student take The Sun over? Imagine how cool it would be; Pot Noodles on the bar every Sunday, a 4AD disco, massive version of Jenga and loads of lasses called Sophie and Emma writing cheques to pay for half a lager.

Actually, New Years Eve was !*!@#

New Years Day was rather good

Yep, despite Bono saying otherwise, all was NOT quiet on New Year's Day.

Congestion on the A19? Explain please Arkwright.

What the hell!! Speak english (if you understand)

& not yibberish........and I pay taxes for this c***

How old is your granny? Denzil will be interested.

Oh Mr PN, get yourself a charver-patois phrasebook; you may find it easier to use than normal English.

What

An acquaintance of young 'Dazza' was set upon by one of the door-staff at the entrance to Movies. It's how the young pop-kids speak today Pencil Neck, get with it.

The Red Lion leasehold can be yours for c.£40k; apparently it's been earmarked for a 'significant' refurbishment. Again.

He shouldget his future son-in-law to do some 'creative accounting' so he can pick it up on the cheap.

Hooligans the lot of them.

Step forward, Colonel 'Dorty Shagger' Knowledge.

lol, like your the first to say anything!

i like a girl with a bit of disgusting history!

anyways, getting back to the topic, whats everyone doing for new year?

I was hoping to meet Miss Darn in The Sun actually.

It would be a good idea to advertise in 'In Touch' if they opted to print it on a decent weight of paper and sorted the registration out. Leave well alone I say.

Go to printing.com, Alphagraphics or Prontaprint, get some decent A5 flyers done and deliver them yourself to the 'better' areas of Bedlington. Be much cheaper.

Further to the Advocaat theme, I just purchased some Co-op lemonade (51p for 2 litres, from, er, the Co-op) and am now drinking me down some Snowball.

By jingo, why wasn't I told earlier how good dem Snowballs taste? Man alive, they is good.

No wonder the craze of Snowballing seems to be sweeping the nation.

Must admit Snowballs are canny, a regular tipple at twisty !*!@# 's house when lager/wine has run out. Well it's either that or !*!@# Dooley's.

Despite the negative sentiments being expressed all over the place, there is sterling work being done by the good people at The North, The Black Bull and The Monkey, all of which are open until one o'clock of a weekend.

You could also visit the "poor but happy" denizens of Bedlington Station for a pint and a fight.

Yep, a warm welcome awaits in The Percy and The Clayton.