Wilf The Golfing Gnome

[Symptoms]

Latest photo in from the Palace showing the new parasite/bloodsucker/freeloader baby having its first meal courtesy of one of the under-housemaid wet-nurses:

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

What was Wilf doing in London 9 months ago?

Signing The Official Secrets Act so that when he plays away he gets one over on the farther (or one over par!) and nobody tells.That was a narrow escape that weekend. He had to get his sKates on, and WellIiam not allowed to say any more.

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Latest photo in from the Palace showing the new parasite/bloodsucker/freeloader baby having its first meal courtesy of one of the under-housemaid wet-nurses:

That appears to be a good software package you are using to manipulate Wilf. Even if my hand was steady my Photoshop & Digital Image Pro, via me, do not seen capable of cutting such a clear image.

[Symptoms]

Our reporter in Afganistan has just sent this image of Abu AlWilf's joyous return to the North West Frontier after he had been on a 9 month long undercover mission to the viper's nest that is Betty Windsor's base. His mission was to impregnate some concubine called Katie so implanting a future Manchurian Candidate into the centre of the evil Yankee's running-dog-jackal poodle-state.

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Our reporter in Afganistan has just sent this image of Abu AlWilf's joyous return to the North West Frontier after he had been on a 9 month long undercover mission to the viper's nest that is Betty Windsor's base. His mission was to impregnate some concubine called Katie so implanting a future Manchurian Candidate into the centre of the evil Yankee's running-dog-jackal poodle-state.

Afganistan, I thought he was incognito!

[Symptoms]

Eggs - I have Adobe Creative Suite 6 Master Collection ... Photoshop is an integral component of the suite. I use a A3 Summagraphics digitizing tablet with it so all actions are via the connected pen so that precise control can be achieved (something that's difficult with a mouse). Cheepo digitizing tablets are available but much smaller, something like Bamboo would be OK for the casual user.

If your Photoshop version is Elements or a giveaway there may be some functions disabled when comparing with the full version, but I'm not sure as I haven't used these crippled versions.

If you want to manipulate Wilf first open the file in Photoshop, there are lots of ways to manipulate but a good way is to use the Lasso tool (in your toolbox) to outline that bit of the image you want (tip: if the image is complex enlarge it with zoom-in so it's easier to outline with Lasso). Once you're happy you can copy or cut your selected area. Open the image (another file) you want to put Wilf into (don't bother to close the original Wilf file) then you have a number of options, the easiest is to paste Wilf in. You can now move Wilf to position and then further manipulate him by right-clicking on him then selecting resize, flip, rotate, etc. When you're happy with his position you'll be prompted to 'apply the transformation' - answer yes. Another tip - if you intend using Wilf again and again save the cut to a transparent background so it's easier to use in future by using 'place' to insert him into another pic.

Edited July 26, 2013 by Symptoms

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Eggs - I have Adobe Creative Suite 6 Master Collection ... Photoshop is an integral component of the suite. I use a A3 Summagraphics digitizing tablet with it so all actions are via the connected pen so that precise control can be achieved (something that's difficult with a mouse). Cheepo digitizing tablets are available but much smaller, something like Bamboo would be OK for the casual user.

If your Photoshop version is Elements or a giveaway there may be some functions disabled when comparing with the full version, but I'm not sure as I haven't used these crippled versions.

If you want to manipulate Wilf first open the file in Photoshop, there are lots of ways to manipulate but a good way is to use the Lasso tool (in your toolbox) to outline that bit of the image you want (tip: if the image is complex enlarge it with zoom-in so it's easier to outline with Lasso). Once you're happy you can copy or cut your selected area. Open the image (another file) you want to put Wilf into (don't bother to close the original Wilf file) then you have a number of options, the easiest is to paste Wilf in. You can now move Wilf to position and then further manipulate him by right-clicking on him then selecting resize, flip, rotate, etc. When you're happy with his position you'll be prompted to 'apply the transformation' - answer yes. Another tip - if you intend using Wilf again and again save the cut to a transparent background so it's easier to use in future by using 'place' to insert him into another pic.

Thank you - some bits I have used, some I will now play with (gave up with Lassoo tool but will look at that again) especially saving to transparent background hadn't noticed that option. My Photoshop 6 was a gift, many years ago, that I have just started to play with.

[Symptoms]

Good to see Wilf celebrating at the Brighton 40th Anniversary Pride Parade today.

[keith lockey]

What was Wilf doing there? Looking for a hole in one!!! Ooh matron!!

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Good to see Wilf celebrating at the Brighton 40th Anniversary Pride Parade today.

Wilf, on a Brighton pier, too hard to believe. He has been seen at Cambois getting fit for his next adventure.

[Malcolm Robinson]

Is that Wilf or just a Marra?

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Is that Wilf or just a Marra?

Don't think so. Looks dangerous where he is, must be Elf & Safety!

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Hate playing on winter greens.

Found a part-time job for the next few weeks:-

Wonder what shop(s) I can be found in?

Edited November 13, 2013 by Eggy1948

[Eileen]

Yaaaaa Wilf is back iv missed him, good luck with the job Wilf.

[Symptoms]

Operation Yewtree will be keeping an eye open.

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Operation Yewtree will be keeping an eye open.

There will be knee sitting in this one. This is xmas tree time so let's gan knee firther with the sheep.

Wilf is desperate, for employment, during this season but will not be seeking the assistance of others smaller than hims_elf.

If he can't find employment it could be a miserable xmas and the poverty could dwarf the event.

He has been as far as Gateshead with his guitar etc. and played some amazing stuff but was moved on by the police saying there is no place for a Metornome. ( I know, don't lets get INTU that!).

[Eileen]

I think we should gnomeinate Wilf to switch the lights on, he could play his guitar and sing there is no place like gnome.

[Keith Scantlebury]

gnomore pleeeeeaase

[Symptoms]

Ruby get his man.  The notorious underworld figure Wilf 'Jack' Ruby shoots Lee harvey Oswald shortly after Oswald assassinated JFK.  The FBI believe that Wilf Ruby was mixed-up in the assassination plot and 'took-out' Oswald to prevent him talking about the involvement of the British Intelligence services. 

 

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

I'm afraid, Ruby is an impostor. Our Wilf has been turned by a much higher authority:-

Long ago, last month, in the year 2013 BC, when Banks ruled Northumberlandia  God sent the

Santa Wilf to the northern town of Bedlington to find an Inn for some special guest to stay in.

Wilf could not find an Inn in Bedlington, even The Sun was out, no longer an Inn and had even stopped trading. (That will teach the proprietor from dropping the Inn word, leaving NO Inns in Bedlington!).

Even the old Smithy Stable behind The Black Bull, was occupied by bats.

The only shelter that they could find was a derelict home for Terriers.

So Wilf set up a sign and began preparing the home for the coming. 

 

[Symptoms]

When the sinner Eggy 1948 scribed "God sent the Santa Wilf to the northern town of Bedlington to find an inn" he invite my mighty wrath to be visited upon him.  Falsely he does spake for my agent Wilf 'Jack' Ruby was sent to that small northern village not to find a dwelling place for another but to lie-low after his toilings for me in a dark place called Dallas.  That Devil's follower JFK was struck-down by my agent Wilf 'Jack' Ruby earlier in time before his good works in 'crucifying by leadshot' the weak link that was Brother Oswald.

[Symptoms]

Recently released British Government documents detail the involvement of their agent Wilf 'Jack' Ruby in the assassination of JFK.  Included in these previously secret files is a photograph of British Agent Wilf 'Jack' Ruby lying in wait on the Grassy Knoll before he took aim.

 

 

 

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Recently released British Government documents detail the involvement of their agent Wilf 'Jack' Ruby in the assassination of JFK.  Included in these previously secret files is a photograph of British Agent Wilf 'Jack' Ruby lying in wait on the Grassy Knoll before he took aim.

 

WilfGrassyKnoll.jpg

The Symptons, that brought upon by the wrath of GOD, are too late. Wilf has turned and, regardless of the words of Kenny Rogers, Wilf (Ruby) will bring his love to town. 

[Symptoms]

The Metropolitan Police have just concluded a press conference where they gave an update on their inquiries into the South London slave investigation.  The couple who were arrested have given police a description of the person who supplied them with three women who've now been freed.  CCTV footage from the London docks has been seized by police and they have issued a still photo, taken from the film footage, showing the notorious Captain Wilf Whitebeard, whom they would like to question in connection with their inquiries.  Whitebeard formally worked for the British Intelligence Service and is believed to be somewhere in the north of England.

 

Edited November 23, 2013 by Symptoms

[Maggie/915]

Peace be 'Wilf' you!