No More Smacking

[Mr Darn]

Ministers brought in a law 3 years ago that ststed if you smacked a child, and it left a mark, cut or bruise, you were in trouble.

now their going one step further and banning the smacking of children all together.

My view is the lack of punishment is the reason the world is the way it is today. i was kept in line as a youngster because of the "fear*" of being punnished. it was to the point where i had been smacked before, it hurt, and i diddnt want that to happen again. the 1-2-3 rule was in place to give me the chance to rectify what i was doing, and i can only remember 1 occasion where my dad got to 3, i was good from then on.

I now have this practice in place with my own children, and i have not got to 3 for a good few years. they know where they stand, and sure, they test the boundarys every once in a while, but if your consistent, it works.

Whats your opinion?

(* by fear i dont mean a physical fear which kept me up at night, just a waryness, caution, i cant think of the word that describes it!)

[Blank]

Ministers brought in a law 3 years ago that ststed if you smacked a child, and it left a mark, cut or bruise, you were in trouble.

What is a 'smack'?

A tap on the back of the hand?

Or a fully blown whack across the back of the head?

Anyone who marks, cuts or bruises a child should be utterly ashamed of themselves.

Children don't need to be physically hurt to learn from their mistakes.

Hitting children is an old fashioned way of dealing with a problem. It takes the least amount of time and effort. And of course, children grow up with the mentality that if someone does something wrong, it can be rightfully punished through physical abuse.

[Cympil]

Any form of smacking is wrong..when it gets to the point of smacking,that`s when you should leave the room and calm down,coz smacking is just the parent losing their rag and lashing out..

If kids are explained things from an early age and learned whats right from wrong and what`s acceptable or unacceptable behaviour and explanations given at the time to why it is right/wrong then that is the path set for good behaviour in the future.

The kids that run around screaming and working themselves are undoubtably the same kids thats never had anyone be bothered to talk to them or explain anything.They`ve probably had countless hidings too from parents who haven`t got the patience to do their job properly..and they`re the same kids that will grow up drinking cider on the street and smoking dope..anything to stop them sitting in the house with the people thats brought them up shouting and hitting them..

So, if they are shown respect, they`ll show respect back..and therefore you wouldn`t be pushed to the point of wanting to smack them..simple really.

[Mr Darn]

By smacking i mean across the bottom so it does not leave a mark. of course if you leave a mark its abuse.

anyone hitting children in the head needs locked up, its stupid and dangerous! and thats an opinion!

[Blank]

The kids we bring up today are the same kids that will have the responsibility of looking after us in years to come.

I'd like to think the way we treat kids today reflects on how they return the favour, although judging by the statistics recently released on the amount of abuse elderly people face everyday in their own home - by members of their family - seem to say otherwise.

[Cympil]

By smacking i mean across the bottom so it does not leave a mark. of course if you leave a mark its abuse.

anyone hitting children in the head needs locked up, its stupid and dangerous! and thats an opinion!

So,as long as you hit the child on the backside and not the head,as long as you don`t leave a mark,that`s ok?

Smacking and hitting are the same meaning..you are inflicting pain on another human being,whether a mark is left or not.

The kid will grow up thinking it`s ok to lash out as soon as he gets in a temper..or he might turn into a school bully..picking on the smaller kids,just coz he can..after all,why wouldn`t he? He`ll of seen his dad doing it

[threegee]

I voted: Yes, Parents alone should decide the punishment levels

and: Raised voice, stern look.

Are those contradictory? Don't think so!

What is wrong here is the attempt at trying to prescribe exactly what's acceptable and what's not acceptable. Good parent's themselves always know when they've gone too far, and so does (did!) Society. But a child should almost always be left guessing.

Does this seem strange or unfair to you? Well that's the way it has always been done through history ...and you know what? It worked!

When you draw lines in the sand children will test them. What they then learn is a game of testing the system rather than regulating their own behaviour.

So... here I'm back on the old hobby horse of the evil of government regulating every aspect of our lives, rather than government doing what it should do: enabling innovation, creating an enterprise environment, and providing a safety net.

P.S. Isn't this in the wrong forum? It would be a shame if it runs off topic.

[Blank]

Yes, parents should be allowed to determine the best way of disciplining their child; every parent, and every child is different.

But what we are talking about here is physically hurting a child. "Marking, cutting and bruising" is what the government - and any decent person - is against. It's committing these crimes against children that ought to get people in 'trouble'.

Studies have been carried out for years regarding the smacking of children.

"Ineffective at best, harmful at worst: the drawbacks of smacking even when performed by loving and supportive parents, hundreds of studies spanning several decades and different countries have found smacking to be associated with an abundance of highly damaging affective, cognitive, and behavioural child outcomes. Some examples are: - Aggression (Stoolmiller, Patterson & Snyder, 1997) - Criminality (Straus, Sugarman & Giles-Sims, 1997) - Alcohol abuse (Straus & Yodanis, 1996) - Child-to-parent violence (Ulman & Straus, 2000) - Decreased academic achievement (Straus, 2003) - Depression (Straus, 2000)"

I suggest people read up on exactly what smacking a child results in before adopting it as a method of reinforcement. Yes it may have an immediate effect but look at the long term effects. Step out of the box - look at whats happening in society based on facts - not what you assume to be true.

By the way, the quoted article can be found here. It presents the pros and cons of smacking. (I've never typed that word so much in my whole life).

[threegee]

"Marking, cutting and bruising" would always have got parents into trouble. We don't need a new set of laws, or a new government agency staffed by a new layer of jobs-worths. Nor do we need endless reports and surveys funded by the taxpayer (to produce the conclusion that the funder is expecting), and which no one will read anyway.

What we need is the restoration of social pressures by imaginative means. It's the removal of those social pressures that have caused today's behavioural problems.

I come from a generation where not only smacking but corporal punishment was the norm. You'll near universally hear from this generation that it didn't do them any harm at all, and in fact that they often deserved it. The problems started in the 1960's with the "Spock" type theorists who though that they knew better than generations before them. They didn't! Today's problems are to a great extent due to their pet theories - what they wanted to believe, and what sounded "fair", rather than what had always worked.

The same is true of the education system. It's a shadow of its former self, and a shambles despite astronomic increases in funding. The problem with all these social meddlers is that by the time their dumb theories are discredited the damage has been done. By then they've taken their wad and disappeared!

[stu]

Ministers brought in a law 3 years ago that ststed if you smacked a child, and it left a mark, cut or bruise, you were in trouble.

now their going one step further and banning the smacking of children all together.

My view is the lack of punishment is the reason the world is the way it is today. i was kept in line as a youngster because of the "fear*" of being punnished. it was to the point where i had been smacked before, it hurt, and i diddnt want that to happen again. the 1-2-3 rule was in place to give me the chance to rectify what i was doing, and i can only remember 1 occasion where my dad got to 3, i was good from then on.

I now have this practice in place with my own children, and i have not got to 3 for a good few years. they know where they stand, and sure, they test the boundarys every once in a while, but if your consistent, it works.

Whats your opinion?

(* by fear i dont mean a physical fear which kept me up at night, just a waryness, caution, i cant think of the word that describes it!)

The Do-Gooders of this world have done for our society!

You will find that the most ardent of the anti-smacking brigade do not have children!

As for parents only hitting kids in anger Bulls**t!

Rewarding young people for mugging 'n' robbing with holidays............EH............!!

"Don't give him wrong,he didn't know it was wrong" Brigade!!!!!!!!!! He'll never know it's wrong till he's told it's wrong, then if he does it again a good hiding will remind him it's wrong!!!!

Bring back corporal punishment in schools,never got it myself,but it sure as hell kept me in line I knew what I would get if I hit a teacher or was good with a back answer or if I was getting too big for my boots!! I also knew that if I had got whacked at school I daren't tell my parents cos I'd get another one there, as Mr Darn says this was not lie in bed awake fear,it is about respect,and respect is earned not demanded.

The lads at school only ever went to the Headmaster once,this only after they had been told umpteen times that what they were doing was wrong,they never went back for seconds!

Enough of the rant

[Malcolm Robinson]

I think a lot of problems are down to the parents but regulating is another step towards a big brother society. As parents we have a responsibility towards our kids, society and ourselves! I have always retained a smacking option but thankfully I can not remember using it but the kids knew it was there! Having said that it is a bit too much like physical bullying in a lot of cases and an easy option. Children need guidlines and boundaries, if only to rebel against, to test their maturity and they see cause and effect as kids. When they go out into the "world" throwing a temper tantrum doesn't get them what they want.

Is it a coincidence that the kids I know who have been treated as adults from birth and who have never had a harsh word said to them, never mind smacked, behave disgracfully and with scant regard to anyone else?

[Dave]

"Kids are like dogs --- youve got to terrorize the little bastards when the're young so you get no jip of em when the're older" line from auf pet ... as true today ...as it was in 1982

The intake into the services the last 5 years ( at least ) has been hurt badly on the numbers front due to the amount of new starters not fit for service due to bad attitude, no respect , chips on both shoulders and so on...

Is this due to any other reason than the failure to instill respect for others , simply discipline and basic manners by the schools or the parents.

My opinion is this. When Corperal punishment was removed from schools it wasnt replaced by anything - it was there for a reason before it was removed and the reason did not go away when the punishment did.

The reason is some kids just need a good hiding - but as thats not possible anymore ( as it isnt in the services ) other methods can be used - but they have to BE used otherwise everyone else is left with trying to deal with the little pricks.

[Mr Darn]

"Kids are like dogs --- youve got to terrorize the little bastards when the're young so you get no jip of em when the're older" line from auf pet ... as true today ...as it was in 1982

...

My opinion is this. When Corperal punishment was removed from schools it wasnt replaced by anything - it was there for a reason before it was removed and the reason did not go away when the punishment did.

The reason is some kids just need a good hiding - but as thats not possible anymore ( as it isnt in the services ) other methods can be used - but they have to BE used otherwise everyone else is left with trying to deal with the little pricks.

Firstly, i knew someone would quote oz, it made me smile whilst posting the topic just thinking of it.

I was once on the bus with my two boys, on our way back from Newcastle, when an elderly lady said " what a lovely, well behaved pair of boys you have there, how do you do it? you must be a really good dad, how old are they?"

well, as we were just about to get off, i thought i'd have a little fun.. i said ***** is 4 and ******* is just turning 3. And their is a secret to my sucsess... the boys know if they step out of line i'll beat them to within an inch of their lives, isnt that right boys? at which point, the two boys looked at the lady and nodded quickly before heading for the door. Speachless and with a look of shock on her face, i winked at her, said 'just kidding', bid her good day and got off the bus. Me and the boys laughed at her expression the rest of the way home, and was even mentioned again last year with a big smile.

just for clarity, i never beat my boys, i only once ever smacked either of them more than once at a time, and it was thru temper,( i felt so ashamed of myself imeadiatly) so appologies were made and he was took out for a treat as a 'sorry'. this never happened again, and is the basis for my '1 smack is ok, if it does not mark, 2 or more is temper and abuse' theory.

I think its the same as the fire, a child can be told its hot a million times, but until it feels that sharp heat for itself, it will always be curious.

[Denzel]

Just howk the little b*****ds and they'll learn. Simple.

Edited June 17, 2007 by Mr Darn
Masked Language

[Symptoms]

Any form of physical abuse is wrong. If a parent has to resort to wacking then they have failed in their relationship with their kids. Mutual respect is the key to any successful relationship. If a child respects (and loves) its parents it is less likely to transgress, just as a parent who has invested the time to explain (not lecture, order or harangue) is unlikely to be disappointed. Many of those who've posted here have correctly identified 'respect' as being the foundation of good behaviour.

Most of what we witness is based on 'copied behaviour'. This 'in-your-face' stuff, that seems so prevalent these days, can be traced back to what's been digested from TV. All these !*!@# soaps, where the characters shout, scream, display agressive behaviour of all types, encourage the young to emulate the unacceptable.

Ok, but what can be done about those who will not, even after the 'respect' experience, behave? Stocks in the Market Place I say.

[Sw@lnalla]

Some godparents are so well informed.

Just howk the little b*****ds and they'll learn. Simple.

What a load of B******s, smack the parents (or godparents) I say.

Edited June 18, 2007 by Mr Darn
Masked Language

[Dave]

Concerning the lack of discipline - the clip of the NHS today i feel must be down the rubbish the schools kick out - some of which work in the public services and some of those are responsible for cleaning up the wards. Hence the greater likelihood of catching a fatal bug these days - what goes around comes around.

[Guest MONGO]

Concerning the lack of discipline - the clip of the NHS today i feel must be down the rubbish the schools kick out - some of which work in the public services and some of those are responsible for cleaning up the wards. Hence the greater likelihood of catching a fatal bug these days - what goes around comes around.

i find the best way to discipline kids is if they do wrong just pin them down and burn there feet with a lighter this garentees best behavior

like the saying goes once burned twice shy

[stu]

i find the best way to discipline kids is if they do wrong just pin them down and burn there feet with a lighter this garentees best behavior

like the saying goes once burned twice shy

Isn't that "once bitten twice shy" but I get the gist works everywhere in the animal kingdom,so why not amongst us animals!

[Guest MONGO]

i cought somone smacking there kid today i ran over and gave the parents a stick to beat them with well if you gona hit them may aswell hit them properly

[Mr Darn]

i cought somone smacking there kid today i ran over and gave the parents a stick to beat them with well if you gona hit them may aswell hit them properly

I wish i'd seen that, although, to be honest, that would probably be a better approach at embarressing them than shouting and screaming...

...unless of course they took the stick

[Merlin]

i cought somone smacking there kid today i ran over and gave the parents a stick to beat them with well if you gona hit them may aswell hit them properly

Mongo did it have 6 inchas in? :lol:

[Guest MONGO]

Mongo did it have 6 inchas in?

no 17 twa**d the little !*!@# all over

[threegee]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7061603.stm

Seems to me that Sir Al Aynsley-Green should return his obscene salary and/or resign. He's clearly out of touch with both public opinion and stark reality. Wonder how his own kids turned out, and if he practises what he preaches?

[Cympil]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7061603.stm

Seems to me that Sir Al Aynsley-Green should return his obscene salary and/or resign. He's clearly out of touch with both public opinion and stark reality. Wonder how his own kids turned out, and if he practises what he preaches?

I`ve already made my point clear on this subject so i`m not going to repeat myself....but what i feel strongly about is the fact kids don`t need slaps or smacks...they need the right up-bringing from the day they were born, and a load of patience! If they are given that guidance there should be no need for physical abuse...which turns into mental abuse!

F*cked up kids come from f*cked up parents...

Hope this helps