Brian Cross

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy. The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?" Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol." "Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy. "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her knickers and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen a man!' "Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor. "I put drops in her eyes."

The Bank top was once a good place to have a pint when my cousin Albert had the lease but lately it has become a dive

They say that you can count your true friends on 1 hand - but not the candles on your birthday cake! Happy birthday MG

Canny lass i am not sure about how did he keep it for so long but the point is these snakes are so dangerous and aggressive i wonder why it didn't kill him.Vic it must be great to see all of those animals in the area. have a mate who lives in Ontario he tells me about all the animals he encounters he told me about a bear that chased him inside his house i think i will stick with the killer koalas ta.

On the news the other night a prisoner in a southern jail was found to be keeping a snake as a pet nothing unusual bout that but on closer inspection the snake was found to be a Eastern Brown snake rated the 2nd most toxic snake in the world He had been keeping for 2 years or so.

On the news the other night a prisoner in a southern jail was found to be keeping a snake as a pet nothing unusual bout that but on closer inspection the snake was found to be a Eastern Brown snake rated the 2nd most toxic snake in the world He been keeping for 2 years or so.

Its here again yep Australia day i my friends on the forum are all revved up and ready to party so light the B-B-Qs and celebrate

What a dog

But nice

Had to get on the band wagon too Sally and Molly

Happy Birthday C L hope you have a gud'un

On a lighter note we had a wild and wooley night last night and you are having a fair amount of rain there according to Live! the farmers are over the moon with the rain and i believe the drought has been busted

Happy Birthday 3G all the best mate

I have just been informed my friend Harry the rabbit died yesterday i think he was 68, i will miss him and his stories when i visit next time. If any members see his wife Pat or his sons give them my commiserations and pass on i am sorry to hear the bad news

The Indians are our latest buyers of mines where i worked in the mines south of Sydney the curry munchers are reopening old mines.Up here in Qld they are trying to open the Biggest ? mine in the world i think its called the Adami project

Vic it doesn't make sense because they are sacking coal miners everywhere here in Qld

Happy Birthday Pete

Mal when we view through live is it real time like now ?

Good luck with that Mal

The town lights look great makes me wish i was home again

It must be near xmas we have got the snow back thanks guys and merry xmas to all

Prince Charles goes to see his mother, the queen, at balmoral. "hello mother" he says, wearing a dead fox on his head. " hello Charles, may I ask why do you have a dead fox on your head?" asks the queen. "ah, well I wasn't sure what to wear, so I asked my new Geordie butler what I should wear to visit balmoral, he said "balmoral? Wear the fox hat? "

My family and me were migrants to this country when we arrived here we worked hard for a living we did not expect govt handouts my father worked in the coal mines of the south coast and my Mam worked night shift in the local hospital for21 yrs we assimilated into the Australian culture quickly. yes Tony i am a migrant and proudly British,i was not having a pop at anyone just asking a question.