wonky

aye..lol. ferry travel is certanly hit and miss.. i remember the days when duty free was available onboard irish sea crossings..blokes would get onboard with a sack barrow and book a day return and fill them with slabs and tabs..its all diferent now though as the average price of a pint onboard is about 7 yoyos and onboard shopping is very limited..we once went to france with irish ferries on a booze cruise with the van and hit storm force ten around lands end..4 hour delay into cherbourg..20 hrs at sea..it was horrific.the crew were puking up..all outside doors were locked and there was nowhere to escape the rolling of the ship..we had our pallet of wine ordered and decided to drive back from cherbourg via the euro tunnell,,into.england then ireland rather than get back on the return ferry..i drove through the night and the next day and we arrived back in roslare about an hour after our original ship docked..never again, sure it was about 800 mile in total..if your planning on buying loads of slabs ,get a landrover..lot less hassle..lol

well, after loads of hassle online trying to book ferry tickets using a 12 euro off voucher i had to complain to corprate stena in denmark to achive any results..finaly got my booking sorted and they refunded my 12 euro..when i arrived at dublin port last week to check in i was rewarded with free upgrade to the plus lounge. to anyone who does not know what this means..its basicaly first class.. as much free tea and coffe as you can posibly injest, free papers,really posh napkins, free wine and buiscuits, fruit and juices.the chairs are realy uncomfortable and the noises from the dishwasher just ruins any chance of a peaceful journey.on the way over to wales we had so much fun watching all the posh people blatantly trying to get their money back for the extra fare they were just stuffing packets of buiscuits and fruit into their pockets and bags. it was obscene to say the least and as a matter of pure discust i would not give the poshies the satisfaction of saying the same about me so i did with out. out of pure spite, i did with out.why on earth someone would want to fill their bags with this crap is beyond me. i can only say that i am glad i did not pay for the upgrade..you can only drink so much coffee before you need the bog and lets be honest here..why would you want all those bananas in your handbag madam ? on our return journey from holyhead to dublin we were greeted at the checkin with another free upgrade to the plus lounge..it was a night time sailing departing at 02.30am..the ship was only loading by one ramp due to technical reasons and we were delayed by another hour..we had a cup of free coffee, read the free paper witch by that time was old news and had abolt upright sit down in a nasty chair. the boat was packed and there was loads of small children running amock in the lounge..forget about getting any sleep in here tonight. the parents of these kids were sending them back and forth to the free buffet of chrisps and bickies and any nanas they brought back was placed in the handbags...there was an indian family in the plus lounge that i am sure were using the voyage as a means to stock an army of corner shops..the greed of some people never fail to amaze me.. on my next trip back to the uk i will not be availing of stenas plus lounge and will be bringing my own flask onboard and finding a quiet spot under the stairs for a lie down in peace..there is not much point in renting a cabin for a three hour journey as you get woken by a bing bong on the tannoy informing you of any delay and any offers in the shop should you want to buy some david beckham smelly for your armpits. thanks to stena for the experiance but..next time..i dont think so..team wonky.

a while ago i aquired some tickets for the spring adventure down in yorkshire....off we went and stopped off at the ribblehead viaduct for the night in wonkys tent.. we then headed off to harogate for the show where i was selling my wonky cookers to cover diesel costs ect.. after the show we headed home to bedlington and had some chill time with the family..one day during the holliday i went out alone for a spin through times gone by and ended up in humford with wonkys van.,..after a while and some nice chat with a birdwatcher in the woods i headed off on my merry way again..had a spin by the blacka to see the long grass what all the fuss was about.. and dropped by the oval shops to see it with my own eyes. i then had a blast up to the red lion for a pint of shandy and had to park round the back for maggies sake..lol....then feeling a bit peckish i headed off towards the station in the hope of finding some food for the belly..i was pretty sure there would be a cafe open as it was mid afternoon and lo and behold..the lights were on at kings..i hesitated a while and gave in to temtation..went in and ordered..i ordered a doner kebab and coke and after a min or three was presented with a bundle the size of a small baby..they threw in some chips too..well..i had had the kings kebab before..late at night but this was another experiance altogether..it was massive..not even jonny vagas could have managed it..the salad was fresh and crunchie and the sauces were nice too. though the kebab its self was satisfactory..there was not much love given to the making of it.. i have said before that a good kebab must be made with love and on this occasion it was more of a case of..."that should sort him out"..like the last ocasion i went off to furnace bank to eat it..i gave it my best shot and had to post what was left into the rubbish bin in the carpark..off then to cambois where i was witness to some fly tipping on a small scale.. and spent another half hour with the feet up and the belly full waiting for naked bathers.. so...kings for quantity..wonky ramsey.

..lol..i had to look twice there..i thought it was mike harding,(the rotchdale cowboy). handing a cheque over..

thanks lads, its great to see the field and bandstand being used for what it was intended for..brings back so many memories of the picnic days..looking forward to hearing that song though..i would have enjoyed the mingling and bbq, sunshine ect..oh well..work on monday..cheers

just wondering how the day went for yous all..and what was the story with the big bedlington song..gagging to hear it..if anyone can provide a link i would be most delighted...cheers

there is somthing about looking in shoe shop windows that exists in all of us.i find that very invigorating personally. .some times i just go upstais and look in the wardrobe as my wife has plenty in there.welcome to the fourum.

welcome from me too,..

i was reminded again today about our lovley dilect..at work again with my geordie mate, about three o clock this very afternoon..he downed tools and informed us he was off to "drop me bate".. i then had to explain to paddy where he had gone..lol also what bate was..

lol..aye ..geordie formby..lol..i bought a banjolele @ christmas after a few beers in town and it just sits in the corner..whenever i play it ..and really get it going..i just end up laughing..saving it untill i get better as its not really a nice instrument for a beginer..had bagpipes for a day..and a fiddle..same effect....got three ukes,1 banjo uke. 2 keyboards,1 accordian. 1 guitar..few more little bits and bobs...probably got more money than sense i recon maggie..lol id be a little worried about playing at cambois beach incase i twang me twanger what with all that nudity over there..probably just stick to the bandstand..lol

i hope your not hacking into my webcam when the curtains are closed during my "special time"..

its.. i went to the station for a pint with me dad then i went to the chip shop for a kings kebab i drove down the furnace bank to eat it in me van there was a knock on the window it was a dirty old man i found a word that rhymes with bank but sadly i had to moderate that bit out..lol

http://youtu.be/3y3vdIqYYDc naming and shaming myself..lol

aye..youve started somthing now..im off to yorkshire this day week for a few days. some wild camping @ the ribblehead viaduct and a few days in the yorkshire show grounds trading wonky wares..the last time i was driving up the a1 i saw a sign for the haribo factory shop and came out an hour later,50 quid lighter and three carrier bags off lickrish and jellys ect..i just been looking at the map to see how far away from harogate it is..lol on a lighter note..my granny would give us the empty bottles to take back for the refund @ the oval shops..i remember there was always a smell of perm from the hairdressers...i am sure all my aunties hung out there too as they all had a touch of frizz going on.... the oval was realy a no go area for us and usually we would never enter it alone,always had some form of back up and a few stones in our pockets for extra security.. there was this soft lad that used to hang about with us and he was always getting caught and forced to eat grass ect..it turned out later that he was actually gay and that was probably why he was a bit soft..lol..anyways,,we knew at the time that if we took him to the shops it would usually be him that got caught and bullied. giving us a better chance of getting away. turns out his granny too was from near the terrier and it was happening big time when we were not with him..some folks never learn..lol ah divvint knah !!..lol back to the pictures..it dont seem to have changed that much..the cars are a bit more modern..

come on in the waters fine..write away old stock !!

jaysus..!! by the look of that list your dad certanly got himself aroond..lol and i am guessing he was a fair man for a pint..lol

sorry lads , this is all a bit deep for me as an artist..i am completley baffled by politics..though on reading about the solar i thought i would share my own recent experiance about cheap solar pannels. last autum i managed to secure a panel from maplin for 50 euro. made in china . i have fitted it to the roof rack of the van for charging my spare camping battery. it charges between 4 and 15 amps and i am delighted with it. i bought it last autum when it was reduced by 100 euro stock clearance.i am running 4 halogen spots from this batt and also use an inverter to power up my roland cube amp.thus enabeling me to plug in the electric ukulele and just rock wherever i want. some of my mates recon i was overdoing it but i can honestly say there is nothing more satisfying than pulling up onto some deserted beach in the west of ireland and rockin for the surfy crowd. ukuleles and solar should be given free to all and the world would be a happier place.

ahh !! thats gas,,taking pictures of the oval shops..made me laugh out loud man..happy memories flooding back..i think i remember the motor bike shop and music shop but honestly couldnt put a date on the period..i had an aunt that worked @ don lynns and would often get the big roond mince pies handed over in a broon paper bag still warm..and oiniony..lol.. some times as a lad if we had some pennies we would walk up to the oval from the blacka for a big bag of football chews,spearmint flavour..CHUMS..they were called. get them from the shop on the corner i think. it was a bit dank but the chews were always fresh and minty..i am actualy slavering now..lol granny bedlington would somtimes send us down for some mutters..lol..jaysus...she loved her pop god rest her. the oval was always a dangerous place for us young mongrells as we were on percy turf and if you got caught it would usually end up with tears and a bust nose at least..there was one time i remember very well ..when we were heading back to the bank top and were chased by the bad lads over the oval field and i got away but did end up stepping in dog poo and remember clearly wiping it off in the long grass at the bank top..laughing. and to this day i belive the grass is still long..might be handy sometime..lol..thanks for that..

quarinetine.lol. thats just for the gypsies..on their way back..usually they go to england and end up in all the places they shouldnt be. i remember once traveling to scotland during the foot and mouth outbreak carrying a trials bike on the back of the van..that was a scary time as there was soo much mud under the jeep and wedged in the chassis they nearly impounded my van and it was mud i had brought with me..the ssdt was canceled that year. gone are the days of driving over old mattereses soaked in domestus.. aye maggie..i was actually thinking of poping into the red lion for a few pints but recon if i create a stir with my van it might atract attension to my drinking habits and warrant a pull off plod..i will probably not be wandering too far from my van anyhows as my manhood is very small and i need the van to keep up the feelgood factor otherwise my holliday would be crap..wont be long now hinny...tick tock.tick tock..

well,lads and lasses, it wont be long now and the wonky landrover will be rattling along the road back to the motherland and the pint of scotch that you got to come back for..i am planning on sampling a few kebabs on route and might even take in one of bedlingtons splendid quirky old worlde cafes for a fried breakfast.probably give kings a miss this time after my last experiance down the bank top..and i met one of the local misfits who was trying to paint my van door.he might not have been a local..could have been from blyth for all i know..lol any ways..i have packed my pointy stick and plan to walk through the woods as part of my holliday and will be taking it along for protection..i was sent a picture last week of the stepping stones in flood last week via email so will be packing my wellies too. theres not much point walking through the woods with wet feet when you can put your wellies on i think fred elliot once said. i say theres no point walking through the woods with wet feet when you can put your wellies on.i say ashley.lol i was hoping to catch up with some of the dorty lasses i used to hang out with for a catch up but the wife has told me under no circumstance am i allowed to go near the dorty tramps ,so will have to pass it up this time.probably just as well really as they were one of the reasons i ended up leaving town and some pit deputy from the 80s is going to kill me if he gets ahad. will bring my camera along for the ride and if i can master this photo posting crack i will share them on my return..if there are any degenerates that you want sorting out or moving along there will be plenty room in the back of my van and i will fly tip them out up c resswell or somewhere like it..it wont be a problem as fly tipping is a skill i have learnt from the irish and they are the grand masters of it. i know sometimes i talk aload of crap but i can honestly say,hand on heart..i am really looking forward to my holliday in wansbeck and hope the sun shines for us all every day .

all the best from me too.

point taken,,i will try not to use any more words that rhyme with tank and bank..

wey i am not telling any more jokes on here..the only one i posted was removed and it was my best one..though probably did breach all the rules of the fourum..

aye..i think blue peter might have had somthing to do with collecting them..certanly rings a bell..bowke is a classic word that still slips out on occasions..i have a geordie mate over here in ireland and a while back we went out for a few beers and he disapeared for a while to the toilet. when he came back he said.." av just been to the bog and bowked up. ah thinks av had a few bad pints of swally."..well he cracked me right up...hes from dunston and i think they all talk like that..lol

lol..quality thread..lol...back in the days when i was living over there i cycled to north blyth to the rows where a mate of mine was living and stopped for tea..his wife was a vegan and put soya milk in my tea..well let me tell you now..it was pure bowke..i have never tasted anything like it since and would never go near it again.. when my youngest was a baby he was sick in my mouth..taste the same..not good at all,at all, at all...lol another use for the old foil tops was to fix the fuse in a plug..our whole house was running on foil fuses we were so poor.. and you tell the young kids of today that and they wont belive you...lol