Malcolm Robinson

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.

Not exactly 'listen with mother' eh John............... Nice job though.

Looks like the UK is being lined up to take part in the Great Euro Default Swap Game 2011. Although we are not in the Euro, Frau Merkel is insisting all 27 European Union nations take part in the Greek default. The American position will be interesting as they hold about $125B of default credit swaps! So Merlin your taxes are going to be used to 'support' the Greek position………..which is basically throwing money away! Pity they couldn't throw it in our direction! Italy is coming up hard on the rails now…….10yrs bonds 5.5% and a closure of her stock market to stop sellers dumping Italian banking shares! Time to stock up on tinned goods and gold!

Lap dancers foxy? They would have to be 9 foot giants to lap dance if you sat at one of those high chairs!

I said last year that I thought the Red Lion under Wetherspoons would produce a reaction in the other hostelries and I would point to the 'churn rate' in management in them to prove the point. Also the community centre had its bars ripped out, the Town Council said they didn't want to compete with an already fragile bar trade in the Town? I think it's just a sign of the times we live in nowadays. There are a couple of points, other than the extraordinary time it takes sometimes to get served even when there are more bar staff than punters wanting to order, and they are the mountaineering efforts it take to get to the loos and the grappling hooks it take to get onto the high chairs at the high tables. Maybe it's just me but if it is all about customer service the loos should be accessible and you should feel comfortable in a place which is primarily for seated clients? BTW, I have been told the Red Lion has cheaper prices than the Electric Wizard at Morpeth so even Wetherspoons recognise price differentials and demographics!

By you're in a fine fettle Merlin, good to have you back! I agree what you are saying and if you look closer at the figures there would seem even more reason to be annoyed. I could easily take pot shots at all sections of government, national, county even local, 40 years of having our needs and aspirations ignored has left a legacy of broken promises and an infinite list of grievances! BUT……. Leaving all past history aside it is time to be far more proactive as a community and start working towards and demanding the improvements we want for our Town. There are now community groups in place starting to do that and others like County Church and their Community Hub which are more quietly going about it. If no one else is going to do it we will have to do it for ourselves! What everyone one of them needs is community support because they have to show they are only promoting the needs and ambitions of a progressive community. (So get your backside back onto the Gallagher Park thread and list some ideas you might have for that area. No one is making any promises other than every suggestion will go into the mix and hopefully produce a sensible and achievable master plan for developing the Park.) BTW, I would like to thank the two people who wrote into the NPL and had their letters published saying they agreed with what I had said. You don't get that very often usually letters are published which disagree with previous ones so I am even more convinced there is a groundswell of opinion out there which recognises our current plight and would like to see something done about it.

That's the problem with globalism Merlin, like GGG says what seems like an insignificant event in some other part of the world impacts directly onto us now. Take the financial crisis, which is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better, if it does. It is generally accepted that 'toxic' loans in the USA precipitated the collapse and even leaving aside the way the financial sector behaved what really caused the crash was down to human behaviour. Some American citizens on welfare listened to some snake oil salesmen who told them that for half of their welfare checks they could get mortgages and buy into the American Dream. With a low start introductory offer for a year or two that was feasible and even after a couple of years they could sell up again and trouser $40K. What they didn't realise was that after a couple of years the repayments would treble or quadruple and you can't get a quart out of a pint. So they were forced sellers and the market tumbled which not only wiped out the potential gain but left them in negative territory. The banks had rolled all these loans into financial instruments which our banks and others bought but once the repayments stopped the loans became at first a drag on balance sheets then because there was no hope of ever getting repaid and the assets had fallen so far in value these loans threated to bankrupt the banks and financial institutions who had bought them. Step in our BoE with £200 billion QE, zero interest rates, forced part nationalisations etc. to save the UK financial sector. As we were already running a national deficit this pushed our debt figures into outer space and means austerity cuts would be needed to rebalance our economy, an economy which was trading on debt anyway. The problem now is that with an interconnected global financial sector there is a rush to the bottom with currency wars and government using inflation to inflate away a lot of debt. So in a way we can directly link the hundreds of jobs being lost at NCC to an American who thought he could buy a house on a welfare check or the butterfly fluttering its wings in the Amazonian rainforest really did produce the Tsunami which destroyed those Japanese nuclear reactors!

I don't think you should Merlin, in fact I think it's a compliment. I would be proud a job I did has become synonymous with hard work in the real world, so much so it is now a recognised phrase in the English vocabulary.

The 'Friends of Gallagher Park' are putting out questionnaires to see what facilities our community would like to see down there, with the most practical being included in a 'master plan' for the Park. There are several questions included but the most important at the moment is: What facilities would you like to see there?................. Please reply to this thread with any suggestions you might have which can then be included.

On the face of it quite a divergence between the BoE and the ECB as to how best to tackle current financial problems. The BoE are carrying on with ZIRP and talking about more QE, the ECB have put interest rates up which will penalise all the club Med countries already in so much difficulty. Taking Portugal something like 99% of mortgages are trackers so they have just seen their monthly repayments go up at a time of economic hardship. (Could be worse many in Eastern Europe took advantage of Swiss Franc mortgages and commercial lending, now with exchange rate movements they have seen their repayments double just as asset prices half!) It would seem to me that the ECB action is about taking some heat out of the German economy, to protect the paymaster of the Euro, at the expense of any other country. Yet another divisive action and not one suited to an organisation which has monetary responsibility for several sovereign economies. Looks like Italy is coming more and more into the fray now with their 10yr bonds topping the magic 5% mark. With a lot of debt to be restructured very soon it would be cheaper for Italy to use the 'special arrangements' the ECB has in place at 5% but that would mean a vast loss of face if not reputation. So the merry-go-round continues and another country's population has to pay over the odds to keep it afloat. The only thing keeping UK PLC debt at AAA rated and in low single figures is the impending Euro bust, Chinese inflation and possible American default! We are getting through on the blindside!

Daddy's car in the woods? Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...' At this point Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.' At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the oil rigs.' Mommy fainted! Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

The quicker we get rid of the incestuous relationship between the political class and media barons the better! Far too much democratic control in too few hands! If we have a hierarchical management system for reward, more money the higher up the greasy pole you go, then it should follow the same system should be enacted when things go wrong and blame apportioned appropriately. The Digger should be in the dock along with his whole rotten pack of cards! I find it hilarious that journalists who were baying for MP's blood not so long ago, and quite rightly so, now find themselves at the coal face and MPs are baying for their blood. Put the whole lot on a slow boat to the Antipodes, thats where we used to send crims, seems some had a return ticket!

Thought that was the prototype for the North Blyth one Keith!

I believe council have a STATUTORY duty towards church yards, graveyards, etc. for their upkeep. If we are paying for the service then lets have it!

I have no doubt GGG, just trying to inject my own brand of jocularity!

Maybe a new avatar is in order Symptoms.............

Because of the original post the state of the Church grounds has been brought to the attention of the relevant authorities! Remedial action has been promised. This may well precipitate a call for volunteers to take part in a clean-up of many areas within Bedlington. Anyone interested?

Not sure he could 'gloss' over this honey trap! He probably would make a better president than Sarko though! Looks to be about getting that pretty French lady you spoke of into the top IMF job and so allowing the good old USA control of that and the World Bank and annihilating DSK's presidential hopes. Bit much when your own brother conspires against you mind! I could forgive his undoubted sexual peccadillos, what I can't understand is how on earth someone in his position could allow himself to be compromised so easily? Does that make him a dupe? This might well have some way to go………….

Keep em coming................ http://uk.news.yahoo.com/peer-jailed-over-expenses-fraud-141304969.html

ADVICE FROM PETER - A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Peter. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Lesley to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. EDITOR'S NOTE: Peter, died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Peter, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

Driving lessons anyone.............. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s3nhr4I2x8&feature=watch_response

Looks likely we will see Northumbrian Water go even further into foreign ownership with Cheung Kong Infrastructure's possible cash bid for the company. For me it's another example of why the global economy doesn't work for localised benefit. They might even continue with their charitable donations and support but by and large the real profits will end up being passed around an Asian boardroom!

Worth watching this right through..........great deadpan delivery. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuevpFTS_po&feature=related

Global derivatives outstanding $600-1200 TRILLION Global GDP $60 trillion Global stock market cap approx $80 trillion Global bank capitalisation $ 16 trillion (max) Bank capital approx $600 Billion or $0.6 trillion Losses if one percent of derivatives go bad $6 trillion or TEN TIMES bank capital.

This is India, where you ring for advice when your computer connection goes down!!!!!!!!