Malcolm Robinson

The 1st volume of " How to understand women” in its pocket version:

Possible successors to Strauss-Kahn as IMF head: KEMAL DERVIS (TURKEY) CHRISTINE LAGARDE (FRANCE) AXEL WEBER (GERMANY) TREVOR MANUEL (SOUTH AFRICA) AGUSTIN CARSTENS (MEXICO) ARMINIO FRAGA (BRAZIL) MARK CARNEY (CANADA) Bets anyone??????

Don't agree with that bit GGG! If we are talking the UK, while there still is one, then we have to see a restructuring of longer term debt and the economy. The fact is that even after all the present cuts and austerity measures going though at present and for the next few years this Government ends its term spending more than when it took office. So sovereign debt will actually increase despite efforts to reduce the national deficit! It may well have been a sleight of hand trick by the previous government but the supposed boom time actually looks pretty flat to me. Instead of using booming tax receipts to build a sustainable economy they were used to increase salaries and make unsustainable jobs. Only now are a lot of people recognising the fallacy of that strategy and for some unbeknown to me reason the private sector will be our saviour, a sector which has been allowed to wither apart from the service sector especially the likes of financial services. We need to rebalance our economy and support SMEs and our manufacturing base, I would include agriculture in that, and impose a strict debt restructuring over decades not even years. We might even get back to a place where we see ''Made in Britain' on goods again!

I don't think the financial gurus quite get it. Spain, Greece, Portugal, et al are now embarked on a crash course between what their people's want and what the super controllers within the ECB deem acceptable for them in an effort to protect the Euro. With the likes of almost 50% Spanish youth unemployment they are alienating a demographic who will take to the streets because they have the 'certainty' of youth and they don't have mortgages or families to try and protect. There was no way economies like Germany and Portugal could ever converge there are far too many attitude, or way of life, differences. Instead of recognising that, the Euro dismissed that economic cultural difference and instead laid down a 'Germanic' blueprint because Germany was the most efficient and prosperous. Without the German attitude to work the southern Med countries were always going to implode, they can't do anything else. They are now talking about bond holders sharing the pain, haircuts defaults etc, if that is truly the case the banks are once again in the firing line because of all the toxic EU debts they hold. It's a real mess and we are far from out of the woods!

Belated wishes from me too monsta.....

Wish I had thought of that Keith............ A closed Wetherspoons is only some people's end of the world foxy! Turns out he wasn't the Messiah only a naughty schoolboy................. http://uk.news.yahoo.com/final-countdown-world-awaits-6pm-doom-114119189.html

Suppose every nutter is coming out to play as we hurtle towards the big one next year! http://uk.news.yahoo.com/day-tipped-end-world-dawns-031145882.html

Not very PC!!!!!!!! I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her bum. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge. David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week the forms will only be printed in English. You're through to PC World technical support how may I help you? 'I am having trouble finding the net' Okay sir no problem. Can I take your name sir? 'Yes. It's Fernando Torres' Fernando Torres walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a couple of shots please." The barman says, "That's not like you." The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 Million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil Wife says to husband "u only ever want sex when ur drunk" husband says ''that's not true....... sometimes I want a kebab" A young Arab asks his father: - What is this weird hat that we are wearing. Why, it's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun! And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body! And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet? These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert! Tell me, papa? - Yes, my son?- Then, why the heck are we living in Bradford? I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great! She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating. Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya. They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement………………It was a mortar attack. The missus asked if she pleased me in bed? I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . . . "What trick?" she asked? "The one where you shut up and go to sleep!" My son was sent home from school for swearing today. I said what did u say? He said the c word. I said it wasn't clever, was it? He said no, it was………………. A Geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in japan, Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?" "No," he replies, "Newcastle" "What State's that in?" asks the Yank. "Pretty much the same as this bloody place! An assortment of high powered weapons and a stash of drugs including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy have been found behind the Job Centre in Liverpool. The locals are said to be in a state of shock........; They had no idea they had a job centre! Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when he got back , his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees, apparently she'd stood him up A man approaches a young woman in a shop. he says i can't find my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes? The woman says sure but do you have any idea where your wife is? Not a clue he says but whenever I talk to a beautiful woman she appears out of blooming nowhere! The Japanese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out . They said they were delicious! My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger. It was only when I had undressed, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!!

The following is an actual exchange of correspondence between a customer > and > the Irish Railway Company. > > Gentlemen, > I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the > service > on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing > in > the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation > system > is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago. > Yours truly, > Patrick Finnegan > > -------------------------------- > > Dear Mr. Finnegan, > We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service > and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of > transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.. > Sincerely, > Irish Railway Company > ----------------------------------- > > Gentlemen, > I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are > confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of > David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. > That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in > the last two years! > Yours truly, > Patrick Finnegan.

I can just imagine..............LOL.

June 13th I think but there will be a posting nearer the time. Drag your Dad along........

That looks great.......giz a go, gann-on.

This is nuts............ http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13329634

Anywhere really as long as its about the mainstream providers such as a Job Centre. What are the common problems and any suggestions about better ways to deliver these sorts of services.

Stephen, That's why I highlighted the opinion polls throughout. At one point the 'Yes' campaign was in the lead only to see that lead reverse after a week or two. That would seem to show voters did want reform but once they examined what was on offer, AV, they didn't want that and so changed their minds because it was that or nothing. Once again I think Clegg has shot himself in the foot, and your party by association, he should have just asked the simple question and then held the national debate about what shape that would take if he won. I think he was outmanoeuvred by the Cameroons. Turned out to be like asking the condemned man if he wants to be hung or shot! Also can you explain what possible relevance the political make up, administration, of a local council has nationally?

Always seemed like a gent to me..........

BTW, the country that could benefit the most from the above scenario looks to be Ireland, as long as it cut it's banks adrift!

I would be very interested in reading what people thought about how the Job Centre interacted with them, especially if you wanted/needed some form of training or advice on employability. If you don't want to make your comments public send me a PM but it would be handy to have some real anecdotal evidence to back up my claims that Bedlington needs some innovative employability solutions.

GGG, I have long since argued that Greece should get out of the Euro, can it really be in the best interests of her people, and ''charge'' the ECB for doing so. The ECB had poured billions of Euros into Greece and anyone with at least two working grey cells can see that is never going to be repaid. It is also have a destabilising effect on the Euro, along with the other PIIGS of course, so instead of trying to manage a systemic failure the ECB should cut its losses, take the hit and limit liability. If I was Greece I would argue for a total write off of ECB held debt! The Greek economy is about 20-25% weighted towards tourism and a devalued Greek currency would make it destination of choice in the Med. That could easily grow and as long as it was Greek booze and Greek produce being 'consumed' they could be getting much needed foreign exchange. Also she has the largest maritime fleet in the world, not hard to see where international freight would go if that was cheaper! As long as there was change in her internal structure where corruption is rife and she didn't take her eye off the ball, as Spain did, I think within a decade Greece could expect to be one of the more prosperous Mediterranean Countries.

Anyone reading this stuff might like to take a look at this......... http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AseczIbaCr1qdER3ZHE1YmVfaFEtX1VCVEZVVFlrd2c&hl=en#gid=0 It NCC spending figures 2010..........

Good man.........well done. Would that be the self employed employment you were on about?

Don't know how much of that I would agree with GGG! These are local council elections and even perming in Scottish Parliament and the Welsh Assembly I don't think we can extrapolate what voters would do in a general election or how they would behave. Its horses for courses. By and large these elections were about installing local people to run local services, or how they propose to cut them! What does seem obvious to me is that the Lib Dems have taken a thumping, in an area where they usually are strong, and especially their leader the closet Tory, Nicholas William Peter Clegg, who I will bet anyone a daft penny won't lead them into the next general election, or is deposed ASAP after a humiliating defeat! I think your post does illustrate what is wrong in local government, if not national government but let's start small first, and that's the political party structure and its manic interference. We really need to start electing people because they have at least some semblance of competence not because they belong to one political party or another. We are suffering death by a thousand cuts at the moment and that will get worse next year. Doing this while stagnating can only lead to an ever decreasing circle of unemployment, stag/inflation, indebtedness and general misery. What we need is change, investment in the right things and some innovative polices. What we have is people so far out of their pay league its untrue, most of our glorious leaders need help crossing the street safely! What they still don't need help with is filling out expenses forms though! The huge swing in the predicted result of the referendum going from a 'Yes' win to a conclusive 'NO' win would seem to say that a lot of people want reformation of our electoral system but when they looked at what was on offer quite rightly turned their noses up at it. The question should have been a simple..... 'Do we need to reform our electoral system', yes or no, then if we returned a 'yes' majority we could have taken a bit of time and trouble and looked at all the possible permutations and got one right for the UK in the 21st century.

''Portuguese Prime Minister Jose Socrates gave a speech on Portuguese television to announce that he had achieved a bail out deal with the European Union/European Central Bank/International Monetary Fund troika.'' Strangely there was no mention of the actual interest rate attached to this bailout? Portugal couldn't compete effectively in the 'good years' how can she have economic growth now to repay these new loans? So it looks again the cost of ECB/EU/IMF bailout is deep cuts within her internal budgets, we then come to a statement about what is not on the table for dissection: no pay general pay cuts, not even wages paid with public debt - no change in pensions below 1500 euros - no wage cuts to civil servants - no reduction in minimum wage - no constitutional revision - no privatization of the public bank (CGD) - no change in co payments of the National Health Service - no change in publicly-funded schools - no dismissals in civil service - no dismissals without cause in companies - no privatization of social security - no caps in social security - no increase in retirement age. Anyone any idea how this can work if that is the case? Answers on the back of a postage stamp please..........

COPPER WIRE......... After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians". One week later, the British authorities reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire , Jack Arkwright,a self-taught archaeologist reported that he found absolutely sod all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless." Just makes you bloody proud to be British, don't it!

Got the machine lined up now Foxy.............