keith lockey

I went to the doctor's today and there was Tom, Dick and Harry in the waiting room. Tom was vomitting everywhere Dick was puking and Harry was throwing up. I thought this is a SICK joke.

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar and the barman says..."Is this a joke?"

I deleted it straight away, Symptoms. My views on smoking are widely known. I was the only non-smoker in a family of chain smokers. (Cept for gran). The photo I downloaded was to prove a point because I see loads of kids 'lighting up' wherever I go and many of them are under thirteen. It's really disheartening. But I'm not getting into ANY argument about it. So finito. The good thing is I see just as many kids playing football around my way which means they aren't all stuck in front of the goggle box or the Google box.

Not being confrontational here, Malcolm, but both photos are correct. There are kids in my cul-de-sac who play footie every night and there are kids who play computer games. They have the best of both worlds, unlike us. But if you want a correct photo of kids then take a look at this one, below, because that's what i see everywhere i go now.

Politics Malcolm!!!! Are ye trying to start Armageddon lad!!!

Symptoms mentioned the Pit Pond - we were warned away from the place by dearest mama, in no uncertain terms. She used to go ballistic when it was mentioned; she said it was bottomless and that a boy had drowned (disappeared) down there. Any truth to the latter?

Done, Malcolm, but I think I may have spelt brothel with an A when it came to 'facilities I'd like to see',I was thinking of Bothal, of course,I may have said message parlour, also. A couple of typos but not to worry.

I've yet to see one scientist explain - with any credulity - how or what Higgs Boson is. They all have a look of perplexity about them when they try to convey this God Particle.

Wonky might have a good point about raffling the Xmas lights. It would be publicity and raise money for some worthy project or cause - in Bedlington - but what cause that would be is debatable. Either that or get Bedlington's most elderly citizen to turn it on. BUT PLEASE, NO POXY CELEB'.

Well said, Malcolm, and best of luck with the Development Trust and the seat concept. I just wished said Trust had tried to do something about the BEDLINGTON TERRIER PUB. (If the trust was up and running then) The only pub named after the famous / infamous dog and it was bulldozed down. Absolutely disgraceful.

Cheers, Foxy, it looks like the shop. (The newspaper rack on the wall is the give-away) So am I right in saying that newsagent's is the Cash For Clothes shop now? Can you remember the name of the shop? One hell of a shot.

I thought he was going to unveil a wench...not a bench!!! Still it's nice to see a seat in Bedlington with a Bedlington Terrier design on the ends. If it had been Cowpen they could have been cows; if it had been Lizard Point they could have been lizards; and if it had been Cockermouth...hold on there's someone at the door.

Happy birthday Gggg.

IT'S BEDLINGTON'S NEW REDEVELOPMENT PLAN, ISN'T IT!!!

It's not your 'coming out' day is it Malcolm!!! The day you unveil your feminine side as Robina Malcolms, brown hair, hazel eyes, likes long walks along the beach and listening to Neil Sedaka. Seeks likewise spirit to share evenings in / out, non-smoker, own car must be W.E.D. Requires help with make-up and must have full knowledge of applying false eyelashes and lip-gloss. Believe me you are doing the right thing, Robina. keeping it locked inside can only damage your chi. Ask Wonky about his mate. He hid it away for so long and the poor sausage suffered all that time. Unleash the vixen in you; take control of you inner desires; don't be afraid of watching wrestling on the telly or popping down to the gym to pump iron - though not in your six-inch stilletos. I applaud your decision Robina...Malcolm, just make sure you shave your legs on the day.

The annoying thing is the song would be half decent if he wasn't taking the Michael.

Sorry, Malcolm, I'll have to let the lads and lasses know what the unveiling is. SEE YOU TUBE ATTACHMENT Her stage name is Mystique Delight but her real name is Doris Spoggatt and she is a cleaner at the Clayton Arms. She will be unveiling herself at the Market Place club - actually the unveiling is waving her dusters about to give them an air. She does private performances but she is booked up at my place until 2014...I've got a lot of cleaning to do.

It may be something simple like his computer has crashed or or something mundane like alien abduction!!

I've just been to an auction today and Lot 69 was the mummified remains of a Viking warrior. I thought they're flogging a dead Norse.

Bit of a problem with parking though.

I'll be amazed if Macdonalds don't muscle in on it?

2 gallon!!! Well that's me and Malcolm sorted, Keefy, but what about yourself?

Na, he's got his own key.

I think a lot of them will have passed on. My mam died in 1996 and she worked at the Glove Factory for years.

Not only is he big but he is heavy, all muck and muscle like Keith 1.