keith lockey

AND THE WINNER IS....MERCURYG...YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That's right, Merc, they have all played Pontius Pilate. Richard Boone The Robe Frank Thring Ben Hur Rod Steiger Jesus of Nazerath Telly Savalas The Greatest Story Ever Told David Bowie The Last Temptation of Christ I will post your prize soon...watch this space, well done.

Yep, it sure is a film role.

I've just started a chess correspondence with someone in Prague. We play chess everynight and it is so great having a Czech mate.

Beware of DELTA SEARCH. I was downloading a new version of ITUNES onto my computer last night and Delta Search piggy-backed in on the download. It took over my homepage and is now ruining / running my computer. If you don't see me online for a while then you know why. It is a Bitch to get off.

Sorry, Canny Lass, good guess but no. Please try again.

IT'S BEEN SOMETIME, VARMINTS, BUT HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. WHICH ROLE CONNECTS THESE?

Alas my latest endeavour at self-employment has failed. I tried to start a dating agency for chickens - unfortunately I couldn't make hens meet.

Me and Maria went to Tynemouth on Friday gone. We popped into that cafe down by the beach - Crusoes? I had some chips and she ordered a sausage and mushroom sandwich. There was four yarking sausages in this thing and half a field of mushrooms. (Slight exaggeration) So that's a new one on me - sausage and mushroom.

Symptoms, I fully understand, but Athiest Experience is still worth a look, honest. These guys are athiests who are standing up for their beliefs (wrong word that!) They are a lone voice in a sea of fundamentalist blind-faithers. One of the athiests was going to be a preacher until he realised the hypocrisy of the Bible. (That's a target on my back now) It is a brave stand by these athiests - considering America is steeped in religious Bible thumpers. Some of the callers are so totally blinkered or indoctrined in their beliefs that it is scary. They cannot or will not see some of the truths that are argued by the athiests. Please give it a look, some of the broadcasts are just ten minutes long. The main athiest host is a guy called Matt Dillahunty - he knows his stuff.

Symptoms, have you seen the Athiest Experience on Youtube? It is well worth a look - for anyone. They operate out of Austin Texas (Don't let that put you off) and it's truly scary when you hear some of the Fundamentalist Bible Belt ringing in and putting forth their point of view about creationist issues. Take a peek at it if you get the chance - especially some of the college debates down the sidebar. Really thought provoking.

KKK That's it, Symptoms!!! King Kong Kommando

Yeah, that's me. Malcolm, showing my Mare Imbrium to it's full extent. I was suffering from a bad case of the Tycho Brahe when that was taken. Want to see my dark side?

I say we send a regiment of bonny lads over there to give them swarthy-skinned sons of Cortes a good yarking. We'll name ourselves the Bedlington Offensive Land Legion Of Crusading Kinsman (BOLLOCKs) Or how about the Gibralter Operational New Army Desperado Section (GONADS) Or even better - the Barbary Apes Deserve Assistance Sometime Soon (BADASS) We'll fight them on the peaches, we'll fight them under the sheets, we'll do the hokey cokey and shake it all about…what's that nurse, I'll feel a little prick!!!

The memories are good, Canny Lass, and I have the other four - a little kitty found its way to my house last year and decided to stay - now it is a huge black and white beast which weighs a ton. Vic, did you say licence - for a cat! Is that right in your neck of the woods?

I went to a humanist 'send off' at Blyth Crem' and when the coffin went behind the curtains they played the James Bond theme. I fell off my chair with laughter!!

Sorry to hear that, Malcolm, it's like losing a member of the family. It actually hit me hard because all my cats are rescue cats and the one that died last, Max, was seen by five different vets - from the same practice - and I got a different diagnosis from at least two. It cost me a small fortune and I'm getting disillusioned by vets and the way they charge fees. But three in the space of a year or more is soul-sapping and it's all money, money, money.

Hi Canny Lass, a few of us were getting worried when we hadn't heard from you for a while. Table 26 thought you had been abducted by aliens and we were going to launch a search and rescue mission. My sense of humour will always be there but it's taken a knock this year with three of my cats 'passing onto the other side', as they say. Good to hear from you again.

It was these two that took over the fresh fish delivery service. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koNQJ3iMTf0

I got rid of the goggle box three years ago - mainly because of the mass dross that was being put out - Big Brother, Celebrity this and that. It's like ancient Rome and the arena - give them bread and circuses. People are being brainwashed with TV. You pay you £240 whatsit licence to watch what other people want you to watch. Oh you have a choice of channels but sh*t is sh*t is sh*t no matter what colour. It is mindblowing what most people sit and watch - just because it is on. GET A LIFE!!!

A Brummie goes into a retro clothes shop to buy some 70's clothes for a fancy dress. The girl behind the counter says... "Would you like a kipper tie?" The Brummie replies, "Ta very much, milk and two sugars."

Another photo, courtesy of Eileen, this one of the Black Bridge. Cheers Eileen.

Here's a photo-postcard that Eileen said i could scan and put on site. Sorry no date.

I've never smoked, though most of my family are heavy smokers, but the one thing that REALLY annoys me with smoking is the cigarette dumps, butts, whatever you want to call them, that litter our streets. If a teeneager bought a Gregg's pasty and threw the bag on the ground it would be considered littering. But if an adult flicks a butt onto the pavement int seems to be okay. NO, there is no difference, except in the size of the litter. So if anything the packaging should show a mountain of dump, or butts indicating the litter factor that cleaners have to sweep up every week.

Popped in to see my mate, Brian Buskin, today and he said his mother used to work at Jennings Market Garden. My bro vaguely remembers it but, alas, I can't.

I can't remember Jennings market garden, Keith, but I do remember Doyle's Shop at Riverview, around the corner from the Bank Top - bottom of Wood Side. It's a house now. In fact the bus stop there is still known as Doyle's Shop by the locals.