Hamburger Pimp

It's a bliddy dis-grace. The inside of one of the pockets has gone, the board has a gradient of about 1:5, there is only one cue, which has a yarking big chunk missing from the shaft, there's never any chalk and the cloth on the table is shabbier than a Harry Ramp's overcoat. Sort it out, Tony Blairs.

That is a very impressive erection, Brian.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Joe. All the best.

The Swan, at the end of the Barrington Road, is closer.

Pete's started early, I see. Three-nil to Sir Fergie's boys I fear.

http://www.fun-with-words.com/word_gry_angry_hungry.html

cheese.

There are only two.

Dirty.

Dishy.

Eco Beach? Faraway in time.

Tops.

Now I'm no expert on the licensed victuals trade, I'll leave the technical expertise to the likes of BarLass and Merlin. One thing I will say is that you can get a bottle of Carlsberg for £1.20 in the Lion. Ideal for the thirsty drinker keeping a watchful eye on the pennies. Think on.

You bet your bippy we are!

We have a winner! Hats off to Mr Darn, you may pick any prize from the top two shelves.

If you mean "get your facts wrong and make yourself appear foolish, again" then yes. Yes you did.

Are Bedlington's brightest and best so easily stumped?

The gaul of the fellow!

Sorry, this is the sport section of the site. Hilarious comedy racism belongs in, erm, all of the other bits. Thank you.

A little sporting riddle for you, if I may. Sunderland did it in 1979. Villa did it in 1981. Who, I say who, did it in 1980? Answer that one and stay fashionable.

Mad Em It promises to be both "off the hook" and "waxa". Giddy up!

Courtesy of The Crack Magazine: I'm no expert on matters on matters hardcore or speedcore, but I reckon this event will be well sick! Techno techno techno techno.

Been having a refreshing postprandial crackpipe, Merlin? Top ranting.

Not exactly Carol Vorderman, are you?

Woolworths stock product with noncensical name Whatever next, a kiddies laptop called "the Langham"? Gary Glitter rollerskates?