Hamburger Pimp

Just got me a bottle of that bad boy from the good people at Netto's. Man alive, that's some tasty drinking. It's like custard with a shot of booze in. What, I ask you, is there not to like about that?

The night picked up somewhat later on though, but.

Right back at ya, Pete. And a big "Merrizzo to da Chrizzo" to all members of this august forum.

Aye aye!

Despite the negative sentiments being expressed all over the place, there is sterling work being done by the good people at The North, The Black Bull and The Monkey, all of which are open until quite late, but never later than allowed by the Licensing laws though, of a weekend. You could also visit the "poor but happy" denizens of Bedlington Station for a pint and a fight.

It's likely.

Are there any local False Miracles gig performances in the pipeline, Granty?

Was it an internet cafe where you saw this mouse?

Your battered sausage and skipful of chips was a thing of no little beauty.

The register of festive fare. The stuff you only buy in your pre-chrizzo "big shop". Yes, of course the turkey, the cranberry and the chipolatas, but what about the trimmings. Nuts - who buys nuts, other than bags of peanuts, at any other time? Neebody, that's who. Ritz or Tuc crackers. Got to get a box of them bad boys. Dates. Dates? wtf? Pickled Onions. That'll be a big masseeve jar of pickles as well. Matchmakers. Someone will always get you a box of matchmakers. It's a law of nature. Tangerines/Satsumas/Clementines/Mandarins. Who knows which is which? Who cares. Selection boxes. The only time you ever eat a "Turkish Delight" or "Fudge"bar. Parsnip. Sexually-confused vegetable that doesn't know if it wants to be a carrot or a turnip. Weirdo. Odd cheeses. From those variety packs/cheeseboard selections you get. There's always a stinking thing wrapped in gold foil that you eat for a laugh when you're whacked off your gourd on snowballs and bottled french lager. Not recommended. Any more?

This bit: http://www.falsemiracles.tk/ doesn't work. (Edit: It does now ) This website works alright though. The 'miracle in action. PS "Open Minded"? Aye aye.

Their website doesn't work.

That's livin' alright.

Hats off to Nobby Solano, Alan Shearer, Peter Ramage, Scott Parker and aal the lads.

Steady on Pencil Neck, we're not all hod carriers here. Try to remember this is a respectable forum for the discussion of local topics of interest, not a sleazy Soho table-dancing club. Honestly.

3-1 to Newcastle.

I bet the results of this poll ruffle a few feathers when the Powers That Be find out what the people of Bedlington think. They'll be quaking in their forty-pound Italian loafers. Power to the people!

It is often the same people who you hear tubbyboohooing about the paucity of decorative lights in the town centre who get all Hyacinth Bouquet about folk who go slightly over the top dolling their houses up with festive tat. Make your mind up, you either like lights or you don't. I'll bid you good day.

Live Tom Waits stuff

Sixty kids? Do you live in a shoe by any chance?

Thankfully everything turned out all right for the lad in question. He was reunited with his teenage sweetheart and they are to be married next March. Marvellous.

However, the reverse is also true, Miss so-called Darn. If a lady chooses not to share her bodily treasures with all and indeed sundry, our society lauds this as admirable, modest, restrained behaviour. On the other hand, a gentleman who gives up the pleasures of the flesh for an ascetic, chaste lifestyle of quiet contemplation is mocked as a lardy-arsed, face-licking inadequate failure of a man who couldn't score in a knocking shop with tenners in his lugs. Where is the justice in that, eh? Sort it out Tony Blairs!

http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/brass.htm http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq...ns/brassmonkeys

What are the questions?