Hamburger Pimp

"The Lion Bites Back!" According to the notice on the window, the Red Lion will be open again this Thursday night.

For those who don't know, "Twisty !*!@# " is Denzel's girlfriend. They love each other very much.

Further to the Advocaat theme, I just purchased some Co-op lemonade (51p for 2 litres, from, er, the Co-op) and am now drinking me down some Snowball. By jingo, why wasn't I told earlier how good dem Snowballs taste? Man alive, they is good. No wonder the craze of Snowballing seems to be sweeping the nation.

Blimey charlie! I'm sure that, while there is a natural desire for a bit of scandal, we don't want Miss Darn's good name being bandied around in this shabby manner. It would definitely also be wrong were her real identity to be revealed in a public forum.

Just got me a bottle of that bad boy from the good people at Netto's. Man alive, that's some tasty drinking. It's like custard with a shot of booze in. What, I ask you, is there not to like about that?

The night picked up somewhat later on though, but.

Right back at ya, Pete. And a big "Merrizzo to da Chrizzo" to all members of this august forum.

Aye aye!

Despite the negative sentiments being expressed all over the place, there is sterling work being done by the good people at The North, The Black Bull and The Monkey, all of which are open until quite late, but never later than allowed by the Licensing laws though, of a weekend. You could also visit the "poor but happy" denizens of Bedlington Station for a pint and a fight.

It's likely.

Are there any local False Miracles gig performances in the pipeline, Granty?

Was it an internet cafe where you saw this mouse?

Your battered sausage and skipful of chips was a thing of no little beauty.

The register of festive fare. The stuff you only buy in your pre-chrizzo "big shop". Yes, of course the turkey, the cranberry and the chipolatas, but what about the trimmings. Nuts - who buys nuts, other than bags of peanuts, at any other time? Neebody, that's who. Ritz or Tuc crackers. Got to get a box of them bad boys. Dates. Dates? wtf? Pickled Onions. That'll be a big masseeve jar of pickles as well. Matchmakers. Someone will always get you a box of matchmakers. It's a law of nature. Tangerines/Satsumas/Clementines/Mandarins. Who knows which is which? Who cares. Selection boxes. The only time you ever eat a "Turkish Delight" or "Fudge"bar. Parsnip. Sexually-confused vegetable that doesn't know if it wants to be a carrot or a turnip. Weirdo. Odd cheeses. From those variety packs/cheeseboard selections you get. There's always a stinking thing wrapped in gold foil that you eat for a laugh when you're whacked off your gourd on snowballs and bottled french lager. Not recommended. Any more?

This bit: http://www.falsemiracles.tk/ doesn't work. (Edit: It does now ) This website works alright though. The 'miracle in action. PS "Open Minded"? Aye aye.

Their website doesn't work.

That's livin' alright.

Hats off to Nobby Solano, Alan Shearer, Peter Ramage, Scott Parker and aal the lads.

Steady on Pencil Neck, we're not all hod carriers here. Try to remember this is a respectable forum for the discussion of local topics of interest, not a sleazy Soho table-dancing club. Honestly.

3-1 to Newcastle.

I bet the results of this poll ruffle a few feathers when the Powers That Be find out what the people of Bedlington think. They'll be quaking in their forty-pound Italian loafers. Power to the people!

It is often the same people who you hear tubbyboohooing about the paucity of decorative lights in the town centre who get all Hyacinth Bouquet about folk who go slightly over the top dolling their houses up with festive tat. Make your mind up, you either like lights or you don't. I'll bid you good day.

Live Tom Waits stuff

Sixty kids? Do you live in a shoe by any chance?