Pencil_Neck

Running OK, certainly not football Mr Kevin Costner has shown a talent for something other than golf

Be warned my over-weight chum, a few tales to caution: We've said it before and we'll say it again: what on Earth is happening to the world's pensioners? Time was, your dear old grandpa would be sitting in a fireside chair, dispensing wisdom and Werther's Originals in equal measure while wrapped in a tartan travelling rug, faithful Labrador asleep at his beslippered feet. Not any more. Regular readers will recall the recent cases of the 75-year-old Russian who stumbled onto the set of a porn flick and quickly shot his way to screen rumpy-pumpy superstardom, and the "72-year old cross-dresser... charged with public indecency after being caught pleasuring himself in a library". And let's not forget the the 70-year-old Italian strumpet caught trying to have sex with a 59-year-old car driver while he negotiated a Milanese highway. Over in Lithuania, meanwhile, battling old timers prefer to burn off their excess energy by giving burglars' testicles a good seeing to - and we don't mean in the prosecution of a blue rinse smut flick, either. Ditto Romania, where a 75-year-old woman recently floored an intruder with some sharp karate moves she picked up on a TV self defence show. According to Ananova, Anica D from the village of Popeni in Vaslui county woke up to find her self being assaulted by the night-time ne'er-do-well. She shouted for help, but none was forthcoming. Accordingly, she "immobilised" the assailant and then called in the authorities, Romanian paper Ziarul reports. The 30 year old miscreant has been charged with burglary and attempted rape, although it's clear he can count himself lucky to escape with his vitals intact.

Brings a tear to your eye...

If you a see a yellow car......

He likes the feel of hair

I can think of someone else has got loads more

Aye, a good show gets you away from bloke interests (at least for 5mins) Or 5hrs in my case

May require some of the Denzel profile?

Natch

How very true

Denzil, get yourself down there as you may meet a grandmother or two dropping off the kids

Watch it

Yes, Mrs Neck likes her hot dogs

Not with your frame my lad

Hell no, a couple of sandwiches from Greggs, a bunch of flowers & 2 DVDs. Thers's no need to purchase such items as we're well stocked. Hardly laden bags.........or if you mean her fun bags, possibly

At least he'll have plenty for the kids to do on the weekend! Another weekend father

Fat & bald man

Particularly for your profile

Flush it

Greek is good albeit not very popular on the Front Street