Brett

My best mate has just found out that he's gay and dyslexic..........He's still in daniel.

My wife said she is leaving me because I always mis-quote the Terminator films. She'll be back.

in other news: good news for insomniacs only 2 sleeps til xmas

Good news for Narcoleptics Only 178 more sleeps till Christmas

a man comes home from work one day, and asks his wife "if i won the lottery, what would you do?" The wife replied "i'd take half, then leave you" "great" says the husband "i won $12, here's $6, now !*!@# off"

We have been looking at moving the bigg'un (formerly the littl'un) to a new school since moving to Bedlington. He is currently in the CofE academy in Ashington but this is very tedious for Rach to sort out in the mornings having to get herself, the littl'un and the bigg'un sorted and over to Ashington. We have had a look at the Ofsted reports for the schools in the area and came to the conclusion that location and interim reports that Whitley Memorial looks like a canny little school. i was wondering if anyone off here had first hand experience of the school and what it was like for their children to attend and what the extra curricular activities are like. He currently attends a number of after school classes and is more creative than sporty. We are going to arrange to pop into the school and meet the head and I have read the brochure available on the schools website and it looks great. Anyone anything further to add?

End of the day, no matter what happens this year. We're all going to have to take a slice of !*!@# pie and take a bite. Alot of people don't understand the effect that decisions in Europe have on us in the UK and that they can do without haloumi and tsatsiki but it's alot more in depth than that. There is alot that I don't understand still but I am slowly trying to educate myself on it so that I can forsee how big of a slice of pie im going to have to take in future.

Saying as though Malcolm and threegee appear to be the only people on the planet that each other know what they are saying I was reading something earlier which collated how general public will be affected by the whole Greece debacle.

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replies, "That would be my wife."

Source - http://www.theregist.../nfc_sim_again/ Does this make the release of the Galaxy Nexus by Google pretty out of date already? I've personally never used contactless technology and prefer using my fat fingers to perform operations but if it works and is taken on a commercially viable route then this will be huge if it works.

Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training. After the first day they met up in the bar. "Ah, Pierre," asks one, "'ow 'av you been doing?" "Merde!" answers Pierre. "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me out of bed and on to ze parade ground." "And Zen what 'appened?" "I will tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five ft off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!" "And did you jurmp?" "I did not. I told 'I'm - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp five feet. Eet is beneath my dignity'." "And Zen what 'appened?" "Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform ten feet off ze ground, and 'e said "Jurmp." "And did you jurmp?" "I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp ten feet. Eet is beneath my dignity'." "What 'appened zen?" "Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform un 'undred feet above ze parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely, and 'e said 'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burm!'" "Sacre Bleu, Mon ami. And did you jurmp?" "A leetle, at ze beginning."

goalkeeper?

Finally got round to switching the laptop on with the card reader in it so got a chance to put these photos up. Back to work tomorrow, really gutted that I have to go back and will be hard for Rach having to get the (former littl'un, now the bigg'un) sorted and taken to school. 5 weeks until time off for Xmas though :-)

Also forgot to mention that Thursday nights acoustic night sounds rather tempting with acoustic sets by various artists and bring your own bottle and reasonably priced tapas all sounds like a good night for a school night.

Ventured up the street for a cuppa the other morning as we we're sick of being locked up in the house. We fancied the look of the place a while back but only just recently got the chance to go. Managed to get in with the push chair and there were other clientele inside obviously enjoying the warmth from the dreariness outside. I liked the comfortable decor of the place and felt like a place you could sit all day and caffeinate yourself. The girly decided for us that we were going to get some dinner as well as a cuppa and I'm really pleased we did. Sun-Dried Tomato bread toasted with parma ham cheese and cherry tomatoes, side salad and some crisps on the side. To finish it off we had some carrot cake which was absolutely gorgeous. I would highly recommend anyone to pop in as there are a wide choice of savouries and sweets available and according to what girly tells me everything is organically sourced and rather than using sweeteners in the food they use root vegetables instead which could make the cake ideal for the kids too Two thumbs up from me.

Movember I am part of a team with some friends in an attempt to look rediculous towards the end of the month and to raise some money along the way. My donation link >> http://uk.movember.com/mospace/1550398/ Anyone else taking part? Initially I intended this to be a laugh but have strangely taken a more serious approach

Autumn Naylini Miller was born at 15:15 on 1st November 2011 weighing 7lbs and 15.5oz's. Mam and baby are doing awesomely well other than being a bit drained and in need of some sleep. Got them both home tonight and nice and settled in. Going to take the dogs out for a walk as the poor little buggers are looking sorry for themselves for being cooked up quite a bit over the past 2 days. I will post a picture or two when I get the chance.

This bloke from over the road was talking to me earlier. "My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided. "What? That fat ugly sod I see every morning outside your house?" "Yes," he laughed, cheering up. "Why would Dave the milkman want to sleep with that?" _______________________________ I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I know where he lives. _______________________________ A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away. Then he decided to look through the window. He shouted, "Do you think I'm stupid? I can see you in there, sir. Open the door." I said, "You're not coming in mate!" He said, "I don't want to come in, I just want you to step out of the car."

Happy Birthday

Glad to hear and I will be dragging the missus down sometime soon for some top quality grub

Good to see resolution on the restaurant being closed. Will have to pop down sometime soon

This is the way forward for gaming

Speaking of flyers and correspondence Anyone for a new dartboard? http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B003JLT1HA/

Apparently the rumours have some truth in them.