Denzel

No need, no need.

That's Pencil Neck told.

That famous biting swalnalla humour.

She'd be too much for you Pete!

Aye, hats off to the lads. Cue a pithy remark from Pencil Neck about Steven Gerrard.

Congratulations to the happy couple.

I wish I'd been there, he sounds a real raconteur.

I better get the back seat cleaned, it's hacky now.

Are you referring to an 'artistic', probably Scandinavian, movie?

Well I'd imagine the Colonel and I will go for some celebratory drinks, before being joined by some of our 'other' friends, resplendent with their respective lasses.

I thought she played his banjo?

Her Royal Highness, Mrs Elizabeth Babcock, would like it to be known that she never pardons as she never breaks wind.

I'd like to be the first person to support you in your new job Ms Hair, so can I have a Big Mac and fries please.

Aye, you're the best.

Worked for Les Dawson.

Do I post a pic on here from my phone?

Aye. And she makes croissants for breakfast.

Pete's been on the Tipp-Ex again!

I did try one once - bloody awful stuff.

Turkey and a leg of lamb apparently. The witch changed her mind about doing Beef Wellington due to the Crafty Cockney's protestations. Tequila breakfast again?

Cue sound of frying pan landing on the back of Pete's napper.

So is her other sister, Indian.

Do not enter the dunny unless armed with a rolled up newspaper.

Would you care to quantify that?

Nice to see some roadworks just outside the Ridge Farm now as well. Superb planning. Sort it out Wansbeck Council bods.