Denzel

I'd like to see a cavy playing Tetris.

He would if we made him cross.

Twisty-arsed left-wing rap/rock has never been so unappealing.

Our wonderful town gets a mention in Harry Pearson's North Country Fair.

You Eengleesh - you is crazy peoples.

They're in there almost as much as you.

Barlass does it for me.

And I thought I could be insensitive!

If only everyone had your moral fortitude! Trilby doffed in your direction.

He's like a rat up a drainpipe.

He wants a good pub, not a Cher bar.

Va fan culo the pair of you.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

I bet it's where you go for a 'back, sack 'n' crack'.

Pete never gives up.

Can't tell Pete, it's dark.

I think Ewok Top Lad is 'on the other bus'.

Let's face it Allan, you'd know.

There is when I get in there.

I am, surely I couldn't do a worse job than the present incumbents? I'm particularly impressed with the fact that Bedlington Bank is completely closed, and there are roadworks on Hartford Road. Excellent planning.

Bloody Johnny Foreigner.

So magnanimous.

We know you get your heed sharpened there!

You said they'd cleared up too.