Denzel

The Take That revival rolls on and on.

Why didn't Norn Iron's champion pie muncher Eamonn just eat the protesters?

Howay man Pete, are you really bothered who won it?!

This week.... Yes please:- Bulmer's Original - mmmm delicious The possibility of a new job - 2nd interview in the offing Listening to 'heartland rock' at a loud volume Religious cults in Darlington - great stuff Beverly Hills Cop - get the f** outta here No thanks:- Locking my car keys in the car with the engine running and having to smash the back window - oh dear Paying for said back window The Dyson tipping over and landing on my foot - it smarts a bit Eurovision Song Contest - bunch of !*!@# Big Brother back on TV - I should be in there

No, we'll use Ann's much abused balloon knot.

Stroll on.....

Yep, Bill and Ann are coming round tonight. Hacky.

Ah, famously uttered after a particularly fine night at Pioneer Terrace; lager, jazzmags, hurb nurbs, eggs in Pencil Neck's bed and childish giggling. Happy days.

Yep, in Uncle Bernie's allotment. He's got a greenhouse AND a shed now.

They're amazed that someone has tried to claim my mantle as 'King of Hack'. There's nothing for you here boy, move on to the next town.

A South African loses a leg in a gold mining accident. 'I'm knackered now' he said, 'who is going to want a one-legged gold digger?!' 'ME!!!' said Paul McCartney.

Yeah you said.

Me niether.

Pete is the sort of bloke I'd want next to me in the trenches. Good work fella.

The resemblance is uncanny.

Dorty ape!

Still looks like Ann 'adopting the position'.

Yeah he said.

Bless your cottons Emma, but the Red Lion is full of charvers and pikeys. It's had its day now, and no amount of flashing lights or neon is going to tempt me back in there.

Aye, them lovely goths. They're individuals you know, who just don't want to conform.

The North and the Bull did me fine!

You said.

Is that Ann?

I think you might want to run a spellcheck on that.

Thank you CK, I think Mr Neck's obsession has become dangerous. Pleae take care if you see him on the streets, he's a l-l-l-l-l-l-loose c-c-c-c-c-cannon.