Cympil

I would be more worried about what`s in me shampoo and deodorant and stuff http://www.equilibra.uk.com/dangerous.shtml

Nice knowing you :lol:

:lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: Mutton Dressed As Lamb

He had a relative called Skippy

Happy Biirthday To You.. I thought this might be helpful to you Helpful Tips for the over 50s Never attempt bending down, except under strict medical supervision. * Develop the power of a photographic memory – take photographs of everyone you need to remember. * Use your ailing health to blackmail your children into doing all your gardening and housework. * Avoid the company of young people they are a sad reminder of your long lost youth. * Keep a diary – it will be a great source of comfort and a handy reminder of what you did yesterday. * Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger. * Finding your false teeth can be difficult when you mislay your spectacles. Always keep these vital items attached to you by pieces of string. * No one will ever notice your frightful wrinkles if you only go out when it’s dark. * Modern science enables even fifty year olds to have the youthful looks of a teenager – a simple head transplant is all it takes. * Should you ever get the urge to go ‘all night clubing’ apply the simple rule – forget it!! * Buy a computer, digital camera and a MP3 player. Although you’re incapable of understanding how to use them at least you’ll appear trendy. * Take the strain off your tired out memory by labelling all household objects – bed, fridge, television etc. * Look twenty years younger in an instant – borrow a baby and train it to call you ‘mummy’. * Save all hairs that come loose when you brush your hair – one day medical science may develop a means of replanting them. * Borrow a pram – pushing it around looks better than clutching a zimmer. * Try to enjoy your fifties as much as is possible – after all the horrendous sixties are looming. * Remember – Don’t Drink and Zimmer. :lol:

I see they`re selling posters for 10p and wristbands for £2 here

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Just 13 years left..Unlucky for some

Ever wondered how and when you`re gonna die? Find out here Click Here Here`s the answer i got Cympil: At age 93 you will be hit by a train while napping on the railroad tracks.

My house is airy,it blows a gale through the back door

What a shame..the poor bairns might not get owt this Christmas,just like the thousands in England that get nowt either...lifes a bitch.

I think they must be the members of Wansbeck District Council

What do the Kiwi`s do with their sheep?

As usual (i`m getting as bad as Swalnella,Kiang,etc etc)

I read somewhere that you used to work for Asda Mr Darn,is it true that when you go for interviews you have to tap your ar*e and sing "It has to be Asda"?

There is a supposed bootsale every week at the Bedlington Market..You know,the big white vans that come directly from Ashington Tip,they sell everything from scratched to !*!@# cd`s,Levi jeans with an ankle width that Nicole Richie would be proud of and clart encrusted worn out (worn once) trainers that Steve Cram once wore..and as for Jet2,they`re nowt but a cheeky bunch of bast*rds

CK,Are you trying to tell me that this character is for real? He has auto-cue written all over him

I see the parents are now accepting Paypal http://www.findmadeleine.com/ They aren`t doing thereselves any favours are they? I ask you this..What would you do,if your bairn went missing? Would You.. a) Crumble b ) Get Sedated Coz You Couldn`t Deal With It? c) Be Suicidal? d)Stay Put Coz You Might Hear News? e)Go On A World Tour And Meet The Pope (Paypal Accepted?)

He looked like he ate a few like

You`ve hit the nail on the head there Mr Darn. Let them !*!@# if they need to,but if they !*!@# outside someones door,clean it up!

Exactly! Also,what do you think is gonna happen when people get wind of Tesco in Bedlington? Other shops like River Island and Dorothy Perkins etc are going to want to set up shop in Bedlington! Finally,after years of been a town with nothing happening,a boring non-existence place,it`s gonna get a place on the map..and that`s just what Bedlington needs! It`s about time something happened,Bedlington has been a ghost town for too long..it`s worth more than that

I didn`t realise he sang Vindaloo