Cympil

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about how bad women are at driving. The woman says, "But just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days". Flattered and thinking he's in there, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God!" But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive. The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...." MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them.

Have you just realised

No,why do you ask?

There used to be prefabs down Milfield didn`t there? them little tin houses..they`re prefabs

You must be getting them wrong..you go back to the start if you get them wrong

You got further than me,i gave up long before that

Have a go and see how you do.. http://www.addictinggames.com/stupidtest2jrhigh.html It`ll do your head in....Mr Darn will like it though

:lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol:

End up like that?.....that IS Monsta

I must be a proper backyslap then

Your Score Summary Overall, you scored as follows: 9% scored higher (more stupid), 2% scored the same, and 89% scored lower (less stupid). You are 89% stupid. This means... Get help. School is cool you know! You should check it out. Is this good or bad

:lol: :lol:

I think i`ll just stick to watching them on the telly..much safer

Ok

So i take it you haven`t mangaged to get a managers job yet?

?? Why would he need a shave Monsta? It`s ok, i`ve realised what you`re on about..

Awwww Bless the little bears,i would love to be there with the little scoundrels (as long as i`m hiding up a tree)

Man admits urinating on ill woman.. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tees/7002627.stm "He tried to rouse her by throwing a bucket of water over her, before urinating on her and covering her with shaving foam. The incident was filmed on a mobile phone." They should give the b*stard life

You`ve got a point..they play the racism card at every opportunity.UK is too soft. It`s nothing to do with racism,in this case it`s to do with fairness.Why should they be given priority over people that`s been on the list for years?

Someone was telling me there`s a couple of familys living up past the Ridge Farm.I don`t know how they`ve managed that one, you have to be on the waiting list for years to get a house up there

No it isn`t, you got me there CK..he`s still a cheeky t*at though

:lol: He`s driving a Porsche 911, if he lived in Islam he`d be pottering aboot on a wonkey donkey

Question: How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer? Answer: Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? UK POLICE OFFICERS Answer : Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 999? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour. If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? If I shoot him, and lose the court case does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home? AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer: BANG!!! AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?" __________________

Muslim dentist 'told patient to wear a headscarf or go elsewhere'.. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/arti...in_page_id=1770 WTF