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Cympil

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Everything posted by Cympil

  1. In that free paper that comes through the door,Chronicle Extra.It says it won`t be ready to open until around the New Year.
  2. I`ve just read that Tesco isn`t opening till the New Year
  3. Did anyone else watch this programme last might? It was brilliant! It`s a three part series so make sure you catch it next Thursday on Channel 4 at 9 o`clock. They`re staying in England with three different familys,they were with a middle class family last night and they were chuffed using ferrets to catch rabbits and eating steak pie off a real plate Next week they`re staying in a council house and going to play bingo and go out clubbing :lol: And they are obsessed with Prince Phillip,they were expecting to meet him and maybe take him home Loads of info here HERE " They wear penis sheaths in place of clothes, use pigs as currency, and worship Prince Philip as a god. And they regularly have cameras pointed in their faces as film crews observe their traditional, South Pacific way of life. But in Meet the Natives, five tribesmen from the island of Tanna, in Vanuatu, are set to turn the gaze upon us, as they tour the country scrutinising the different tribes of a strange and exotic land called Britain. Armed with video cameras Chief Yapa, Albi, Posen, Joel and JJ travel 10,000 miles from their traditional villages to observe our foreign customs and culture. From KFC bargain buckets to gay karaoke, bingo to fox hunting and 24-hour shopping, the five ambassadors experience the best and worst of British working class, middle class, and upper class life. They have extraordinary (and not so extraordinary) adventures - artificially inseminating pigs, attending mediaeval banquets and buying suits at Asda, while making wise, profound and amusing observations along the way. Their goal is to return to Tanna to show their fellow villagers how their lost brothers live on the other side of the world. " I hope it`s repeated so i can watch it again
  4. A woman walks into a bakers. She looks at the shelf with the cakes on. They all cost £3. but one is priced as £4. She asks the baker why that one is a different price. "That one's madeira cake".
  5. While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you --- you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it." The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc." The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis." The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion." The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice." The next day the man seeks out a Chinese doctor figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes,Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease." The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!" "Oh, Thank God!" the man replies. "Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself." :lol: :lol:
  6. A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about how bad women are at driving. The woman says, "But just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days". Flattered and thinking he's in there, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God!" But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive. The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...." MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them.
  7. Cympil

    Maddie

    Have you just realised
  8. There used to be prefabs down Milfield didn`t there? them little tin houses..they`re prefabs
  9. You must be getting them wrong..you go back to the start if you get them wrong
  10. You got further than me,i gave up long before that
  11. Have a go and see how you do.. http://www.addictinggames.com/stupidtest2jrhigh.html It`ll do your head in....Mr Darn will like it though
  12. I must be a proper backyslap then
  13. Your Score Summary Overall, you scored as follows: 9% scored higher (more stupid), 2% scored the same, and 89% scored lower (less stupid). You are 89% stupid. This means... Get help. School is cool you know! You should check it out. Is this good or bad
  14. I think i`ll just stick to watching them on the telly..much safer
  15. So i take it you haven`t mangaged to get a managers job yet?
  16. Cympil

    Shocking!

    ?? Why would he need a shave Monsta? It`s ok, i`ve realised what you`re on about..
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