Malcolm Robinson

Nice to hear one of our local businesses obviously supplying what customers want! HSBC to close their Bedlington branch April 5th!

Have you heard of an elastic band Keith, well………………………

Died too young........

1. Radon discovered by whom…….. Friedrich Dorn. 2. Chicago Ship Canal opens connecting the Mississippi with what. The Great Lakes. 3. Name 1900 uprising against foreigners in China. Boxer Rebellion. 4. Puccini premiers which of his operas in Rome. Tosca. 5. Box Brownie launched by which company Eastman Kodak. 6. Manufacture begins of which famous gun. The Lugar Pistol. 7. F.L. Baum published what famous book. Wizard of Oz. 8. Who is released from exile in Siberia. Lenin. 9. In which USA city is there an outbreak of bubonic plague. San Francisco. 10. What aeroplane is tested in Germany. Zeppelin Airship. 11. Which city hosts 2nd modern Olympic Games. Paris. Which physicist reveals Quantum Theory. Max Planck.

Minutes of the last meeting, PDF again: Web version Bed Forum minutes v3 28th Nov 2011.pdf

3 1/2 Merc..........

All relating to the year 1900. 1. Radon discovered by whom…….. 2. Chicago Ship Canal opens connecting the Mississippi with what. 3. Name 1900 uprising against foreigners in China. 4. Puccini premiers which of his operas in Rome. 5. Box Brownie launched by which company. 6. Manufacture begins of which famous gun. 7. F.L. Baum published what famous book. 8. Who is released from exile in Siberia. 9. In which USA city is there an outbreak of bubonic plague. 10. What aeroplane is tested in Germany. 11. Which city hosts 2nd modern Olympic Games. Which physicist reveals Quantum Theory.

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing. 2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute. 3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb. 4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry. 5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems 6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle... 7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. 8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce. 9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S':Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

I know the Chartists used it John and held many meetings there looking for support.

Foxy, The site is getting some supa doopa upgrades soon and it should take any size of upload. Still can't figure out why you are having trouble with anything bigger than 350kb? I passed on your remarks to admin..........

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.. 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? 4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle? 6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them . 7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them? 8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh. 9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?" Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist." Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco." Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments." Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle." Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking." Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it. Full speed ahead." Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water." Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please." Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir." Nelson: "What?" Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected." Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy." Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral." Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd." Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled." Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card." Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency." Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons." Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?" Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy." Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral." Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!" Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks." Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?" Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not." Nelson: "We're not?" Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation." Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil." Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report." Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King." Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life" Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sxxxxy and the lash?" Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment." Nelson: "What about sxxxxy?" Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir." Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy"

John, You will soon get the hang of it, practice makes perfect and if you need any help just ask. ...........

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently Ashington and Blyth wallahs were NOT the correct answers.

I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...'I'm going to take that.'

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O?Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'

Spanish numbers…….. Having been on cardio monitors for a while Spain looks to be on life support! The previous government said they would hit a fiscal deficit of 6% of Gross Domestic Product in 2011. The new government said 8% and the Spanish Interior Minister has just announced it will be 8.2%. To achieve this they are introducing an austerity package made up of about 9B Euros in cuts and 6B Euros in tax increases. This will actually produce a reduction of about 1% in her fiscal deficit. Target for this year was 4.4% with 3% planned for next year. Taking 1% off the 8.2% just announced is a good way short of 4.4% so enlarging the austerity cuts and/or increasing tax would seem to be the only likely governmental response in the absence of any sort of growth. Unemployment is about 22%, (youth unemployment about 50%!) housing is over a cliff, industrial production figures well down even on the 2005 ones and retail figures which have double digit negatives. All in all Spain is in a recession rushing headlong into depression! Like others in Club Med the way Spain used to get out of a fiscal jam was to devalue but having a currency pegged to what is in essence the Euro Deutschmark can only increase the screws even more. We either get a European Germanic Fatherland or these countries have to default and exit the Euro as it stands now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od7eaa5p4Xk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fhat4uk.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F01%2F01%2Feconomic-crisis-the-reason-theres-nothing-to-watch-on-tv-is-the-same-reason-therell-soon-&feature=player_embedded

We both know what you need Keith...............a free computer course!

Is that a chuffing echo????????