Malcolm Robinson

Kitchen and food news: This woman is 51 yrs old. She is TV health guru Gillian McKeith, advocating a holistic approach to nutrition and health, and promoting exercise, a vegetarian diet which is high in organic fruits and vegetables. She recommends detox diets, colonic irrigation, and supplements. This woman is also 51. She is Nigella Lawson... a TV cook, who eats meat, butter, and desserts. .... and, she washes it all down with wine! I REST MY CASE.

John, Just read the home page for the Bedlington Saxon entry. Were Morpeth and Newbiggin settlements in 660AD? I was about to write up a skit about Bedlington being the original settlement. A few Picts came down to have a bit of a crack and stopped at the banks of the Wansbeck to get over their hangovers on their way back and stayed, making a Morpeth settlement. Blyth was just a place where Vikings could tie their boats up at and the females of that area could ply their trade in the huts which sprang up on what became the quayside. Ashington was a midden until full-scale coal production was started there and became the world's biggest pit village. Cramlington was and is just a 1960's town planner's wet dream! That sort of thing but if we can't claim Bedders was the original settlement I might have to think up another angle!

Good stuff John............

Doesn't take our wags long........... Antony Worrall Thompson stole some cheddar? How dairy! I went to see Ready Steady Cook the other day. It was fantastic. Antony Worrall Thompson absolutely stole the show. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuffed up Worrall Thompson's jacket. Antony Worrall Thompson has been caught shoplifting milk, yeast and flour from his local Tesco. He's clearly run out of dough. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Unless you're using the Worrall Thompson recipe book. Antony Worrall Thompson stole some cheese and wine. And that was only for starters. Wozza was caught stealing cheese from Tesco. He should have done it more Caerphilly. I don't care what he's done, I'm still hanging on to my Antony Worrall Thompson blender. Better the Breville you know Asked how he feels about stealing cheese, Antony Worrall Thompson admits it wasn't very mature.

Don't be facetious you young whippersnapper! Back in the days of Yore, when men were men and sheep were frightened, there was a black plastic disc with undulations for a needle to run on. By a series of magical incantations it was possible to get sound out of this set up, which was called a gramophone. It did have to be in a sterile environment or fluff would build up on said needle and distort any sound which was produced. Also there was a need for everyone listening to it to be completely still or a much dreaded scratch might ensue and that could completely destroy the disc. These were originally all large discs but the popularity of certain beat combo bands and the gullibility of the general public meant much moolas could be made by unscrupulous alchemists who started producing smaller discs with only two songs on. These were rated A and B and spawned a whole new industry.

Many happy returns........

Got the vinyl of this somewhere...........

No, I thought 'Wor Lass' had let one off!

So what was it?

I was asking people about that too. I was fairly sure it had been an earthquake. Deep rumbling noise and there were vibrations which knocked a couple of things over. The dog was barking and the cat ran upstairs. I thought the Martians had landed.

Nice to hear one of our local businesses obviously supplying what customers want! HSBC to close their Bedlington branch April 5th!

Have you heard of an elastic band Keith, well………………………

Died too young........

Welcome to the Forum Paul.................

1. Radon discovered by whom…….. Friedrich Dorn. 2. Chicago Ship Canal opens connecting the Mississippi with what. The Great Lakes. 3. Name 1900 uprising against foreigners in China. Boxer Rebellion. 4. Puccini premiers which of his operas in Rome. Tosca. 5. Box Brownie launched by which company Eastman Kodak. 6. Manufacture begins of which famous gun. The Lugar Pistol. 7. F.L. Baum published what famous book. Wizard of Oz. 8. Who is released from exile in Siberia. Lenin. 9. In which USA city is there an outbreak of bubonic plague. San Francisco. 10. What aeroplane is tested in Germany. Zeppelin Airship. 11. Which city hosts 2nd modern Olympic Games. Paris. Which physicist reveals Quantum Theory. Max Planck.

Minutes of the last meeting, PDF again: Web version Bed Forum minutes v3 28th Nov 2011.pdf

3 1/2 Merc..........

All relating to the year 1900. 1. Radon discovered by whom…….. 2. Chicago Ship Canal opens connecting the Mississippi with what. 3. Name 1900 uprising against foreigners in China. 4. Puccini premiers which of his operas in Rome. 5. Box Brownie launched by which company. 6. Manufacture begins of which famous gun. 7. F.L. Baum published what famous book. 8. Who is released from exile in Siberia. 9. In which USA city is there an outbreak of bubonic plague. 10. What aeroplane is tested in Germany. 11. Which city hosts 2nd modern Olympic Games. Which physicist reveals Quantum Theory.

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing. 2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute. 3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb. 4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry. 5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems 6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle... 7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. 8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce. 9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S':Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

I know the Chartists used it John and held many meetings there looking for support.

Foxy, The site is getting some supa doopa upgrades soon and it should take any size of upload. Still can't figure out why you are having trouble with anything bigger than 350kb? I passed on your remarks to admin..........

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.. 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? 4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle? 6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them . 7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them? 8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh. 9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?" Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist." Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco." Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments." Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle." Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking." Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it. Full speed ahead." Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water." Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please." Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir." Nelson: "What?" Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected." Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy." Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral." Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd." Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled." Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card." Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency." Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons." Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?" Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy." Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral." Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!" Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks." Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?" Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not." Nelson: "We're not?" Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation." Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil." Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report." Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King." Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life" Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sxxxxy and the lash?" Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment." Nelson: "What about sxxxxy?" Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir." Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy"