Malcolm Robinson

John, You will soon get the hang of it, practice makes perfect and if you need any help just ask. ...........

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently Ashington and Blyth wallahs were NOT the correct answers.

I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...'I'm going to take that.'

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O?Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'

Spanish numbers…….. Having been on cardio monitors for a while Spain looks to be on life support! The previous government said they would hit a fiscal deficit of 6% of Gross Domestic Product in 2011. The new government said 8% and the Spanish Interior Minister has just announced it will be 8.2%. To achieve this they are introducing an austerity package made up of about 9B Euros in cuts and 6B Euros in tax increases. This will actually produce a reduction of about 1% in her fiscal deficit. Target for this year was 4.4% with 3% planned for next year. Taking 1% off the 8.2% just announced is a good way short of 4.4% so enlarging the austerity cuts and/or increasing tax would seem to be the only likely governmental response in the absence of any sort of growth. Unemployment is about 22%, (youth unemployment about 50%!) housing is over a cliff, industrial production figures well down even on the 2005 ones and retail figures which have double digit negatives. All in all Spain is in a recession rushing headlong into depression! Like others in Club Med the way Spain used to get out of a fiscal jam was to devalue but having a currency pegged to what is in essence the Euro Deutschmark can only increase the screws even more. We either get a European Germanic Fatherland or these countries have to default and exit the Euro as it stands now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od7eaa5p4Xk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fhat4uk.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F01%2F01%2Feconomic-crisis-the-reason-theres-nothing-to-watch-on-tv-is-the-same-reason-therell-soon-&feature=player_embedded

We both know what you need Keith...............a free computer course!

Is that a chuffing echo????????

I think that is one of the most informative posts on the boards, well done John keep them coming.

Sorry sir...............

Worth watching through........bleeping jackasses, bleeping morons! Basically swap the UK institutions for the US ones and hey presto..............

The thing about Maggie is that she brings out two sentiments in people they either love her or loath her. I do think there are one or two bits of UK history we can thank her for but on the whole her influence has been a destructive one. Even with the positive ones there is a destructive quality to them! She certainly reshaped the socio/economic values of the country by tearing apart social cohesion in communities, allowing greed to be the determining factor in private economic development and I agree the seeds of the present crisis can be trailed back to her. Is the fact that she did this singlehandedly (well with a bunch of Muppets by and large) worth adulation? She was clearly deranged and unhinged in her second term maybe if the men in white coats had gone in then…………………. Good to get some real other perspective Keith.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/police-seek-prosecute-huhne-005317562.html

Can't argue with any of that Adam..........my tongue was firmly in cheek!

Shown every year on German TV.............Ok 'shopped' a bit and political!!!!!!!!

Where's Maggie when you need her.................. http://uk.news.yahoo.com/thatcher-offered-to-buy-ironing-board-and-linen-due-to-over-spending-fears.html

''Everybody kept going back to the ham, not the turkey, not the pork or the beef, that ham was to die for.'' Any chance of getting the dripping for my sandwiches in the New Year Keith............ The wafer thin cut pack of value ham we had for Xmas dinner didn't have any............

If I remember correctly Cooper's had a lot of the rides at the Spanish City.

Test

One of Hollywood's most famous animals, Cheetah the chimpanzee from the Tarzan movies of the early 1930s, has died aged 80.

Pathetic ………. Even if they ripped it off the police site there is only one reason for getting it so wrong, sloppy journalism.

Good to have you back Merlin. I can understand your frustration reading your other post about business rent and rates. Did you know business rates are to take a 5.5% hike in April? So the breathing space they have been given this year is about to come back and hit everyone in the face. Rents have been going upwards too, what a way to stimulate new business activity! On top of that the domestic rates look to be under renewed pressure as the county try to balance its budget. Seems they will take the Government shilling this year again but really that can only make rises that much greater in future! Swerving service delivery onto the Parish councils, who will then have to charge us extra for them, while retaining that part of the county rate which we paid for these services means we will be hit with double taxation for the same service delivery! So rising costs and a squeeze on disposable incomes at the same time, this is going to end very badly especially in towns like Bedlington which seems to be already clinging to viability. To add further insult to injury County are now looking to impose a hierarchical structure onto the towns in the county and Bedlington is to be relegated into 'B' class status so it will no longer be a Market Town it will be a 'district centre'. It would seem someone agrees with your Ghost Town status! As for the much promised redevelopment by Tesco have a look at this..