Malcolm Robinson

Two Questions: Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates. Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 Martinis a day. Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening. Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never committed adultery. Which of these candidates would be our choice?

Good write up in this weeks NPL...........through to the final round for a national accolade.

The Grandmother of all Blonde Jokes This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she if OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it Said... You'll love this.. I know you will... .. . . . . . . "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

They are putting in a complete new drainage system to take away any possibility of flooding at the bottom of the Leech's state. It's got to cross the road at the end of Millfield yet and I see there are path closures in this week's NPL. I believe the covenant on that land is pretty tight, no building allowed!

Keith, Good job there is a full stop at the end of that's sentence! I have nothing to do with any council as far as being a councillor goes anyway! There are two WBTC councillors above the parapet on this board but in this case I don't think they would be of any help. What Mr Stitch needs is his NCC county councillor but even then………… Because all the old council houses have been moved into quasi private sector agencies they have their own set of rules and regs and it is these Mr Stich needs to understand. I presume by the title Mr Stitch is looking at private landlords and only the ones who have registered with the Good Landlord Scheme might have the 'open mindedness' needed about this situation. Most will put their properties out to rent remotely through estate/letting agents and that's probably where Mr Stich's situation is failing. Doubtless he will have registered with the likes of Wansbeck Homes/Bernicia and after he gets his personalised number he will be able to 'bid' for any of their properties which his situation warrants, which come available and are advertised every Thursday. On the face of it this looks a stupid situation and because of some jobsworth requirements a perfectly understandable situation has become a nightmare.

Andy Grey's resignation letter.......... Dear Sky Directors, I am so sad to be leaving a company that I have served long and hard for, for over 20 years. In fact I would like to go out on a high and so………. A woman gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds. She notices a boy in the field standing alone at one end of the field, while all the other kids are running around at the other end having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. "You OK sweetheart?" she says. "Yes Miss" he replies. "'You can go and play with the other kids if you want" she says. "It's best I stay here Miss. " he says. "Why?" asks the woman. The boy replies: "Because I'm the blooming goalkeeper!" Yours faithfully, Andy Gray

This year we will experience 4 unusual dates..... 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11.... Now go figure this out take the last 2 digits of the year u were born plus the age u will be this year and it will EQUAL TO 111.......... This is FREAKY, do the math of your dates.

I presume you are poking fun at the stereotypical image of 'Geordie' rather than anything else with that one Merlin!

Some might find it a little daunting to put into the public realm some of the info you talk about keith. I don't know who linzibinzi is but they have only just joined and immediately started a valued topic, so well done. Maybe as confidence builds and they are treated seriously………..

That is exactly what this part of the site is about..........keep them coming keith.

Keith, I wasn't really replying to the initial 'Café at the Oval', that was always going to be done to death, but more the last sentence on the post I highlighted, 'if not a café then what?' It shows a willingness to at least enter into the process and consider opening and running a business as a serious career option. With horrendous failure rates, for some of the reason's GGG highlights, someone might have to try half a dozen start up's before they hit on one which will stand the test of time. Much better to do the market research first!

Ange, It should connect all the way from Meadowdale, down past the back of the cop station, split into two with one section going up to Front Street and the other down and around Gallagher Park and out onto Station Road. Hopefully all the road crossings will be made a safe as possible. Sustrans haven't actually got this route on their web map yet. The Parish Council at the Station is doing a lot of environmental improvements to the 'rural' walks within their boundary, go to their next meeting and ask for dog poo bins?

Andy, I think this depends on what you are talking about. If we are talking about the need for a business opening then council have a role to play but not in the actual opening up of a business. I think this is a common misconception and one a lot of people hereabouts assume. The council's role is in making the infrastructure attractive for private sector investment not in taking over the mantel of the business sector. We don't live in a communist state. Without the right sort of public investment our local economy, even county wide, has been left to wither and we end up with a 50% reliance on public sector for employment and high unemployment, that's unsustainable but at last it has been recognised. Anyone interested in this stuff look at ''Northumberland Economic Strategy (Final 2010-2015)'' here: http://www.northumberland.gov.uk/default.aspx?page=5712#0 If you are talking more generally along the lines of some sort of Leisure facility then I am completely with you on this. Being the wallet for these facilities in neighbouring towns and never having one within our boundary is really inexcusable and anyone associated with WDC in its heydays, and I am talking Bedlington WDC councillors, is to blame! Having said that it would have to be with the proviso that it was actively managed so as not to be a drain on local taxpayers, but then that is something so foreign to councils whose only response to tightening budgets is to increase payments and cut services.

Linzibinzi, Nothing wrong with a bit of entrepreneurial flair, in fact it is exactly what is needed! If you are thinking about opening a small business with wide market appeal you need to get out and ask people on the street what they think is missing and what they would support in terms of them actually using it with their cash! If you are talking about doing it with a target clientele, like teenagers, you have to go and ask them what they want and think about just how much disposable income this group might have. You can't underestimate the location neither, what works in one place might not in another. Do your market research, write a realistic business plan, include an honest SWOT analysis and then get someone independent to look it over for you, and genuinely best of luck to you.

Having had two proposed bridges scrapped because of costs I don't think the cycle route could reasonably expect another.

It's part of the new Sustrans Cycle route in and around Bedlington. It's to link the Black Path to the path going down opposite Nettos and then down Gallagher Park. It's going to be a Toucan crossing (your guess is as good as mine?) which is supposed to be cyclist friendly.

No sooner said............... Scroll down and then click on 'View 2009/10 Councillor Allowances Summary here' to get the page. http://www.northumberland.gov.uk/default.aspx?page=5916

Showing your age there foxy............

Climate change the recent phenomenon....... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-12378934

A Danish bank, Amagerbanken, has just gone belly up and whilst in itself not a massive threat to the European banking system there are a couple of warning signals. It passed last year's European banking stress tests even though it had been effectively been bailed out by the government making it a zombie. The real difference now is that senior bond holders and depositors won't get 100% protection in fact they are estimated to lose about 41% of their holding. If this is replicated throughout the EU banking sector, and probably one more will start the bonfire, nobody in their right mind will hold bonds in any of the peripheral Eurozone, irrespective of the yields.

Merlin, NCC have already thought of that one, and it's probably still on the cards, but it had to be pointed out that if they make traffic wardens self-funding, their pay has to be relative to their ticket issuances, any warden doing a good job will make himself or herself redundant! (Or is the whole exercise just another stealth tax?) Also making 'Lollipop men' traffic wardens wouldn't actually tackle one of the main problems, inconsiderate parking at school times, as they would be already doing a job of work which necessitates their fulltime attention. BTW, just been informed that of the people who registered an interest in taking up Lollipop duties, none turned up for interviews so one of the worst school crossings in the county remains unmanned!

Looks to me like something most governments adhere to these days, they have learnt their lessons well. Its attributable to JOSEPH GOEBBELS in his 'Principles of Propaganda'.

At last a really useful computer.......

Its a quote keith you will never guess who by.........

Base jumping with a difference!