Malcolm Robinson

Yet another one........maybe not directly elected but he has come through the process to get there. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/8271647/Lord-Taylor-accused-of-fiddling-his-expenses-tells-court-he-made-loss-on-his-work-in-Parliament.html

If you receive an Email from the Department of Health, warning you of the dangers of eating tinned pork because of swine flu..... Ignore it... It's just Spam.

Nice one Brian..........

HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... ______________________________ My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' 'Yes..' she said So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started..... ________________________________ My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearbytable. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started... _______________________________ When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. ________________________________ My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started... ________________________________ Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, andslipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started... ________________________________ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started...... ________________________________ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office... She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And then the fight started... ________________________________ My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started

Spain has cancelled its planned bond auction for January 20, and instead will plough ahead with syndicated issuance. Not to be left on the shelf so has Belgium and Portugal. So rather than face not getting their bonds away in public they have gone for a behind closed doors offering……..who might be buying and what premium they demand is now open for speculation but it will impact onto these bonds next time around!

Might say America but its the same here.........

Yep.............

:lol: Good one Brettly, done most of them...........

Its called TUPE Keith........Transfer of Undertakings Protection of Employment. They don't really have an option but it should mean the staff will be doing the same job so a little Morrison's must be on the cards...

Keith, You have to consider WDC always wanted to pedestrianise Front Street and all the ramifications that would have meant. I know it's our twin town but couldn't they have picked a pronounceable name for this road! Bedders would have been ideal to have something akin to the shopping centre at Cramlington where you have a large national supermarket at each end of the retail concourse. One end at the Monkey and the other at the Netto site with plenty of free parking either above or below the centre. Instead we get piecemeal developments which have actually detracted from the commercial possibilities. That should have been done 25 years+ ago and we would still be reaping the benefits now.

If we all tackle what I think is place discrimination every time we see it at some point the message will get across that the North of England doesn't stop at Manchester! In fact as far as I am concerned Manchester is north midlands! Also with a sustained campaign we will be promoting Bedlington anyway! Already read one American international best-selling author who when describing the location of Newcastle said it was just to the South of Bedlington! Thanks very much Clive Cussler!

New Year new diet............

Boom Boom.......... Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action! So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy woman busy. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely. Paddy says to Mick, Christmas is on Friday this year. Mick said, Let's hope it's not the 13th then. My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar. I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit. After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part. Just had my water bill of £275 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just "£2 a month"..... Time to change supplier I think.

ZEN TEACHINGS for the New Year ahead: 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just pxxs off and leave me alone. 2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 8.. If you don't succeed the first time, skydiving is not for you. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree. 13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... And most of that comes from bad judgment. 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. 17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our !*!@# ... Then things just keep getting worse. 20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Press release, Bedlington a suburb of Newcastle!!!!!!! Not a good start!

Just been told Morrison's have taken over the Bedlington one from ASDA..........

Worth watching the Portuguese bond auctions today......... Also Greek insolvency.......... These special instruments the ECB has evoked to deliver what are really bailout packages looks to be about as much use as a chocolate fireguard! The markets seem to be testing them at every sovereign bond auction....... The Yanks have gone for the money printing option unable politically to go for anything else due to their immense debt figures while Europe has gone for austerity measures.......who is right, probably neither but time will tell!

Next Community Partnership meeting...........Everyone welcome. Tuesday 25th Jan 2011 6-30 – 8-30pm Venue: Salvation Army Hall, Bedlington AGENDA 1. Welcome & Introductions 2. Apologies 3. Minutes of the meeting held on: Tuesday 23rd Nov 2010 4. Matters Arising 5. Police Update 6. Chair's Update 7. Open session: General discussion relating to any matters members feel is of Importance to them and the West Bedlington area 8. Date, Time & Venue of next meeting

The Tourists are donating their wages today............. Best wishes to you and yours Brian.

Here's another one gone........... http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Politics/MP-Expenses-Former-Barnsley-MP-Eric-Illsley-Pleads-Guilty-To-Three-Charges-Of-False-Accounting/Article/201101215891048?lpos=Politics_First_Poilitics_Article_Teaser_Regi_0&lid=ARTICLE_15891048_MP_Expenses%3A_Former_Barnsley_MP_Eric_Illsley_Pleads_Guilty_To_Three_Charges_Of_False_Accounting

Keith, If you can do all those twists and turns ever considered a career in politics?

Here's some culture you heathens! If the regular stuff was like this it would be worth watching........

Liked that one Brian, hope your feet are still dry, looks to be getting worse.

:lol: GGG, Full English, bottle of Broon and a copy of the Sun, ta marra! I thought he took off to Cydonia?

There are moves afoot to try and get some large scale alterations to the European Union bill and so force a referendum. Will Dave stick to his promises now............????????