keith lockey

TRY THESE, YOU VARMINTS.

Hoi, you two, they're my very own. Genius at work! (Or is that Guinness?)

I went to a comedy night at the local pub last night. On stage was a beer keg telling jokes. He was a barrel of laughs. Next on was a ball of wool with some quick-fire one-liners. He was a bundle of fun. Then came a surgeon in full regalia of gown, mask and gloves. He had everyone in stitches. Next was a former boxer-turned-comedian. Brilliant punchlines. Then came a snowy owl with some anecdotes. What a hoot. He was followed by an onion with some witty remarks. He had us in tears. The climax was a cannister of nitrous oxide. We couldn't stop laughing.

I remember George Peel, he used to collect the pools coupons if I remember, as well being a bookies runner. He used to ride about on a pushbike, bike clips and all. I don't know why I didn't go to him for guitar lessons! Puzzler that!

Thanks HPW, I was beginning to think I had imagined Kitchens existed. I bought a fuzz-wah pedal there but I was never any good at it. Me and my mates went upstairs in Jeavons and had a go on a Fender Telecaster. I wish I could go back to those days and stick in with my guitar lessons.

Naw, the one next to the Essoldo at Asherton. You got in free if you took a wheelbarrow full of empty pop bottles.

They all served in the navy duriing WWII. Pacific theatre.

Adam, has it got something to do with the Presidancy or is it more personal like they were tee-total, or non smokers?

NO NO NO...It's Dan Haggerty...Grizzly Addams, not pan haggerty. All together now...'deep inside the forest....' I think we used to call it tettie pot.

Did they all pardon Vietnam draft dodgers?

British actors have played them in films? Michael Gambon played Lyndon B Johnson; Anthony Hopkins played Richard Nixon... but I don't know any British actors who have played Gerald Ford. Unless you know something from your sources in Hollywood....Hollymount Square.

I saw someone go down on his honkers on rollerskates. Not a pretty sight.

Depends on what day, Keith. I've looked high and low and still can't find it. I might take the lens caps off the binoculars tonight.

What would I say to him..."pick your lampost."

Have a good one, Brian. Is it a big one down under - I mean birthday of course.

Has anybody clocked this Panstarrs comet yet. It is a beautiful clear night, the moon is visible and the comet should be above it to the right, but I can't see diddly squat. AAARRRGGGHHH!

Have you got their phone numbers, Malcolm?

HALLELUJAH - GUINEVERE IT IS Well done Malcolm. Ava Gardner in Knights of the Round Table Vanessa Redgrave in Camelot (Julie Andrews appeared in stage version, with Richard Burton!!!) Cherie Lunghi in Excalibur Keira Knightley in King Arthur. Another one coming soon.

I went online to have a look at it. (See link) and it looks kinda posh. They say they do meals during the day. But what's the clientele like? Is it Red Lion or Clayton Arms? (Can't imagine the latter.) I mean I don't want to take her to a hub of white slavers...then again! http://www.sjf.co.uk/pubsandbars/about.php?id=20

Well I wouldn't kick them out of bed on a cold winter's night, Adam, but nope, that ain't the connection. Think characters. PS - I'm having a Youtube music night - flitting from site to site.

Nope.

Me and Maria fancy a goosey goosey in there, Foxy. What's the meals like, do you know?

Not the connection I'm looking for, Keith. I actually thought this would go straight away.

I actually saw Marty Wilde at the top club in the late 70s - early 80s. (where Morrisons is now) He was doing some kind of revival stint I think. He turned up late then had the club move all the gear off the stage and onto the floor!!! Weird night that. I was with Paul Kane and Kevin Miller.

I was in the house and had just turned the TV on for the news. I was totally shocked at what I was seeing. The weirdest thing is I had dreamt a plane had crashed into the Power Station chimneys not long before 911. I bought the DVD by the two Frenchman and United 93, and every anniversary I watch these two DVDs. They still have the same shock factor on me after all these years.