keith lockey

I got home from the shops today and found I'd been burgled. The thief took my kit kats, my penguins, my bourbons and custard creams. "Doesn't that take the biscuit." I thought. So I rushed upstairs to check on my Walt Disney figurines. There was Goofy, there was Donald Duck, there was Pluto and Minnie...damn it, they've taken the Mickey. So I checked my medicine cabinet and found my urine sample was missing...well that's just taking....advantage of the situation isn't it.

It'll be like PAINT YOUR WAGON, HPW, when the town disappears. There must be shafts all over Bedlington. My dad was a cutter and died when the roof caved in at Dr. Pit - 1956 - two months before I was born. I used to see that pit heap every morning when I drew back my bedroom curtains. It was like a mountain on your doorstep. The residents of Rothsay Terrace must have feared for their lives in case there was another Aberfan.

Cheers, John, I wasn't born until 1956 but I am surprised my mother or granny didn't mention it.

Moving on from banana sandwiches - how about sliced beetroot sandwiches. You looked like Kathy Kirby when you finished eating them, what with all the red beetroot on your lips. I've just bought a jar at Tescos, Dee Liscious. Where's the microphone....once I had a secret love....

HPW. Have you ever considered Self-Publishing? I was chairman of a writers group - up until last year - and one of the team got his work published via self-publishing. (It is also called vanity press.) The books were really good and everyone in the group was impressed by the standard of the printing and presentation. I think it cost him about £300 but that varied to his needs. He got eight or nine copies out of that. One of the other members followed suit and I thought it was a great way to get your personal feelings into book form for the family - instead of piles of loose paper - like MickyPotts experience. (Heartbreaking that - I think I would have come back and haunted her.) But it's just a thought, HPW. Good luck.

I was in Tino's Deli this morning and a Red Indian walked in with his father. He said "What do you want, Dad?" And the father said "I'll have a mocha son." I couldn't help notice them because one had long black hair with an image of George Michael on the left side and Andrew Ridgeley on the right. I said to the girlfriend "I bet that's a wig-wham. They told us they had just gotten jobs at a factory in Cramlington - Thomas Tee pee. I asked if they were moving to Bedlington and they said maybe, but they had reservations. They were staying with their Irish uncle - Tom O'Hawk. They both left and jumped on some ponies outside. One of the ponies suddenly bolted and started jumping over cars. "Crazy Horse." I said.

I went to Gateshead Athletics stadium yesterday and I saw all these mannequins practicsiing for the 100 metre dash. I asked the groundsman what was going on and he said "Dummy run." I left there and went for my orienteering course. The instructions told me to go left, left and left again. I thought "This can't be right." Then I went to Whitley Bay Ice Rink and the superintendent gave me a pair of worn boots with rusty blades. "Cheap skate." I thought. Then I went to Gills chip shop at Seaton Sluice and asked for fish and chips twice. The girl behind the counter said "I heard you th first time."

John W SNRG I had heard of Alan Parsons but nothing by him. I am much impressed. Cheers JohnW SNRG. Here's another one of my favourite headphone tracks - from one of the scariest films I have ever seen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4SUEYZBfm4

BAD LANGUAGE USED!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbKDgF8CvmQ

Are you on about Solar Fields Brett? Because I think he-they are great.

A GOLDEN AGE? World War I Russian Civil War Finnish Civil War Cristero War Spanish Civil War Irish Civil War World War II - Germany vs. Poland World War II - Germany vs. France World War II - Germany vs. Russia World War II - Allies vs. Germany World War II - Allies vs. Italy World War II - Allies vs. Germany in Africa World War II - Allies vs. Italy in Africa World War II - Japan vs. Korea World War II - Japan vs. China World War II - Japan vs. Philippines World War II - Allies vs. Japan World War II - Japanese theatre China Civil War Greek Civil War Costa Rican War 1948 War of Independence (Israel) Sinai War (Israel) Kasmir War (India/Pakistan) Chinese Occupation of Tibet (whether this is a war is a contested subject) Korean Civil War (involving Russian, China and the U.S., too) Sino-Indian War Indo-Pakistan War of 1965 Indo-Pakistan War of 1971 Vietnam Civil War (involving France and then the U.S., too) Cambodian Civil War Guatamalan Civil War Six Day War (Israel/Many middle-east countries) War of Attritian (Israel/Egypt) Yom Kippur War (Israel/Egypt/Syria) Nigerian Civil War Lebanese Civil War Algerian Civil War First Sudanese Civil War First Lebanon War (Israel) East Timor (Indonesia/East Timor) Russia-Afghanistan War Salvador Civil War Ethiopian Civil War Falkan War (Britain/Argentina) Iran-Iraq War US-Iraq Kuwait Liberation War Sierra Leone Civil War Serbian War Rwandan Civil War Kargil War Second Sudanese Civil War US-Iraq Occupation War Second Lebanon War (Israel) US-Afghanistan War Were Cameron - Clegg voted in?

Heard a lot from this bloke - Magnus Birgersson (Solar Fields) - very good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMH6THjJi-Q

Went up to Boulmer today and just as I got there the RAF's new egg-shaped fighter planes took off. "They've been scrambled." I thought. As I was coming out I saw a guy with a door handle on his brow. "Knobhead." Then I saw this bloke standing on the corner selling magazines. "I bet he's got issues." Then Norman Tebbit stopped me and asked me to vote for him in the next election. "On Your bike." I said.

That's wonderful, Merc', really pleased for you.

Music is like a time machine. You play a certain record and it takes you straight back to that place or person where you first heard it. I only ever listen to my stuff with headphones on because music to me is personal. By all means share records with others but the best way is to put the phones on and take a trip back in time.

Symptoms, is the kid with the glasses on picture 2 Colin Cooper? I may be totally wrong here!

Spot on, Symptoms. I thought I had lost my school photos but found them by pure accident in a box in the outhouse. But a lot of people in my class, whom I met across the years, said their mams had thrown them out when they got older. I put my Woody School photos on Friends Reunited and found some others there - those Westridge photos were also on that site. I would suggest others scope it out. There is another site purely for school photos, but as you say they are rare and this other site can only publish photos that have been submitted and are available. Wards photography shop at Bedlington must have had tons of them - or at least the negatives. I did evening classes at the High School many years ago and they had a wall full of old class mates. There must be more photos out there hidden away.

If it is to the right then I think Maggie will be correct. If it is to the left then it could be Wansbeck District Council's old depot yard.

Can't remember Nicky the headmaster, he must have left before I started. By the way,HPW, it's the other Keith who mentioned the arsonist, not me. I don't know who it is/was.

I honestly didn't notice it. So that's another one.

I passed the Barrington Arms (Monkey) today and saw a FOR SALE sign on the wall. Is this new or have I missed it?

Bedlington Westridge, Adam. I hasten to add they are not mine. I got them surfing for old school photos on Friends Reunited. I know many of the people on them - neighbours and friends. The 2nd & 5th I know no one.

We were just on about that, Keith, because in the sixties - seventies there were kids of our age - in our street - who all went to different schools. Me and bro were at the Woodys', Lesley Morris was at Westridge, as were others just doors away. How did the work the cachement area out. It baffles me!

Apologies, Orloff, Des Reay did live at Poplar Grove - not Clement. I believe there was two Alan Hendersons - one got the nickname 'Hatchet'. My bro knew them both better than me. Alan Morris lived round the corner from us, his sister Lesley is on one of the photos, we were good friends.

Sorry, Malcolm, if I had actors names it would be easier for me, it's driving me nuts. You're right, Threegee, it isn't KISS ME DEADLY, I watched that on Youtube last night. (Still has one of the scariest endings!) I am sure the film was set in the Mike Hammer genre. It wasn't a western because the editor phones in his usual order of coffee and 'doughnuts' (not sandwiches). When they arrive it is a 'new bloke who has poisoned the coffee/doughnuts. (Something like that.) By the way, this isn't a crafty quiz, I honestly am on a mission to find this film. And I'm sure it was top-notch actors of the day. Keep trying.