keith lockey

Me too, that might come in handy. Thanks Vic.

Yeah Vic, I have just found out in the last half hour. Another one of my heroes gone. Him and Neil Armstrong in the same year, rather fitting. I read one of his autobiographies - 80 NOT OUT - and he was a very funny man. Goodnight, travel well, Patrick Moore.

Here's your prize, Keith - a Liger. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4AtS9Ohuag What's that! You said a lager!!!!

A worthy cause, Keith, I can just see you liberating alcohol from every pub in Bedlington. (Not that there are many left open now) I used to do the same in my youth, though it was called Pub Crawling them days. Many a bottle of gin did I rescue from boredom on a bar's shelf. I became possesed; I would walk into a bar and hear the beer calling to me - "drink me" "liberate me from this barrel, or bottle or keg...." Yes I saved many a drink from dark dank cellars and I still say to this day that a bottle of McEwans Export was one of the finest drinks every tasted by my darling buds..

Yeah, I decided to go for the pebble-dash ceiling effect. I Had to get the right angle and trajectory for that one though. But getting back on theme the one thing I remember after bread and dripping on Sunday was my granny baking tarts and chocolate cakes and me an my bro would lick the batter - he would get the spoon one week and I would get the bowl, then vice versa. PS. No more B&D - I'm veggie.

THE ANSWER - THEY HAVE ALL FEATURED GINGER CATS. Cat Breakfast at Tiffanys Sterling Price True Grit Jones Alien

Okay, no one is going for this one so I'll post the answers after I finish hanging my wallpaper. Where's my noose.

You see that pitch black bit in Northumberland - well that's our street. (Ruddy street lights are off again.)

I've been eating chips and beans for a fortnight. (Actually I love them.)

Keithy weethy, I so do not believe the above statement - you OUTSIDE a pub!!!! Let's keep focused on reality here. (PS, I have never been in the Cresswell Arms, what's it like?)

As Canny Lass says I am just putting the finishing touches to the script - especially my love scene with Kylie Minogue. I might have to edit it because it is already two hours long and we haven't got our socks off yet. As for your acting debut Adam, well do you want a stunt man to do your orgy scenes with the Spice girls or do you want to do it yourself? I'm thinking of incorporating the lush toilets in the Red Lion as a portal to another dimension - you know, you flush the loo and are sent back to another date. I know I have lost many a day in a pub's loos.

Where's my over-night bag. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2243900/Travelodge-launches-cosmic-rooms-featuring-panoramas-night-sky-help-soothe-guests-sleep.html

They could turn it into a cinema and show this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcglnY_xGfc

Wish I had a £20 note for everytime I've played this.

Lets not forget ALIENS 3. Blyth Power Station provided some of the smelter works shots... The power stations had very few television and film appearances: In 1991, the site was used as a shooting location for the sci-fi horror film Alien 3.[8] Various locations in the North East of England were used in shooting the film, and the power station provided the location for some shots of the planet surface.[44]

Bad news folks, I've been to the doctors today and she says I've got a bad case of margarine rash. She says it's spread.

In a nutshell Brett, well said, unfortunately.

So you like riding a scooter. (er vesper - vespa????)

That's the spirit, Malcolm, we'll fight them on the beaches, in the kitchen and at the postub. And our new war cry will be "Dashing away with the smoothing iron..." All together now...

Decorating!! Decorating!! You think of decorating at a time like this. Global catastrophe looms on the horizon; the end of the world as we know it; civilization in all its dubious glory crashing to an end and all you can think of is me up a ladder putting two coats of crushed pearl on my bedroom ceiling!!! Pulleese! Obviously there are those in this community who do not take this serious so I am going to have to take command and lead a task force of stout (brave not fat) Bedlingtonians into the field. So how about Saturday night we all meet down at the picnic field at midnight wearing pixie costumes and dance to the moon goddess....what's that Merc', you do that every saturday night!! Okay then let's meet at Attlle Park dressed as the Avengers... No no no, not those ones, the other ones I can be Thor, Merc' can be Captain America; Malcolm can be Ironing Man; Adam can be the Hulk. Keith 1 can be Hawkeye the noo and Foxy can be...er...what are you like in a dress Foxy? We'll have to have a war cry; how about Aggadoo do do...

Panto custom - "Oh yes it is." "Oh no it isn't."

Malcolm, you've just found the future Mrs Lockey, who is she? where is she? How many babies does she want?

It's the same at Newcastle; there are two bars - the Goose and Three Bulls (Maybe wrong on second one). You can walk by at 10am and they are full of people - men and women - who are sitting reading newspapers and drinking alcohol. Now maybe you are right with the dimensional thing; maybe it is 9pm or 10pm on their world so it is perfectly normal. And Merc', with regards to them disappearing in an instant I would suggest you look under the tables. But enough of this frippery, I have a Tardis to assemble - just got it from Ikea - with this I will go back in time and save the world from disaster on the 21st. Fear not Bedlingtonians, if i can't save the world then i will cloak Bedlington in a protective bubble and whisk you to another dimension where we can live live as it is...er was...er will be...whatever. Klaatu berata niktu.