keith lockey

Merry Christmas everyone.

Is this the real world? I mean it goes from tragedy to farcical. The NRA cannot be serious about this! http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/22/us/nra-calls-for-armed-guards-at-schools.html?_r=0

I'm just trying to consider what I would do if given the option of having G. Brown as PM or choosing the end of the world. It's a hard one. Then again, look at what we got. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I am TOTALLY disillusioned with our political choices. I seriously cannot see the point in voting anymore, it just seems futile, especially with what we've got to choose from. But this is not the correct place for this topic and I politely refuse to get drawn into politics on this or any other site. Now when is the next doomsday event, have I got time to polish off a bottle of dry white?

That piano stairway is brilliant, Malcolm. What a great way to get people involved and use the stairs instead of the escalator.

Just like the bus I went for today - it didn't turn up. It's a sorry state of affairs when scientists can't get the end of the world right. Who can you trust now? I mean look at all the folks who have been let down. People will have to buy their kids presents now. They can't use Doomsday as an excuse for not buying them anything this Christmas. You'll have to pay your bills as well and decorate the hall for the missus. I blame this Tory government for this. If labour had been in the world would have ended exactly at the time stipulated 11.11am. But one thing did happen - a miracle. I flagged down a scrap man in our street today and said I had a TV for him - and he said he didn't want it!!! Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

Is it me or is this a sorry state of affairs; I mean have we really come to this? http://uk.news.yahoo...67.html#6cvS5De

I don't think they are left wing, Adam. They are more observations on the Tory Government but I don't think that necessarily makes them left wing as such, as contradictory as that sounds. The first one, naturally, alludes to the pit closures but the second one is more a diatribe against God - using the Tories as the scapegoat again. Don't for one moment think I am defending the Tories - no way - but what we have in party politics now is a parallel universe of ideas. You can't actually tell the difference - or rather you couldn't - between the Tories and Labour. It's that old adage - what they say to get into power and what they do when they are in is two different things. Kiss the baby then steal its candy. I thought the clips were just two great examples of the little man standing up against the big system - but both knowing they can't win. The Tories got a slating in both cases but it could just as well apply to Labour as well I suppose. (Except they haven't got a party anymore thanks to Gordo.)

Fear not, Bedlingtonians, I have assembled an awesome team of superheroes to save us from the Mayan calender predictions forecasted for tomorrow. Never before has such a task force been united. More powerful than the Avengers; more magnificent than the seven; more justifible than the Justice League of America, more legendary than the Legion of Super heroes - I present our saviours; our last line of defence - The Bedlington Bravehearts... er, then again, you better start digging deep bunkers.

Happy birthday Pete - a lot of December births on this site isn't there.

Cheers, before or after Doomsday?

The penny drops and the veil is lifted. I can RIP now. Sigh.

Congrats Keith. Are they going to call it Nibiru?

I'm veggie, Canny Lass, but I can try it with a Linda McCartney sausage. Someone has told me he tried a fried banana. UGH! PS, Malcolm, who am I up against on the other site - please enlighten me in a PM if you will.

Foxy & Malcolm - you are ahead of me on this one. Is it someone I should know or someone who used to be a regular contributor.

The Feast of Faith is on the other site - food. It comes under banana sandwiches. I bet you're the type that puts margarine and sugar on and I bet you cut your 'nana sandwiches with a knife. And as for lending me insight to gaze beyond the heavens well I've already got X-Ray eyes, ya boo hiss. Didn't they have DC Comics at your end of the Universe. Anyway, if I wanted that I would have tuned into the Sky at Night with Sir Patrick, bless his little cotton socks. (You better be looking after him up there, or else.) But Just remember I'm faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than an east coast train. I can leap over tall buildings...well at least the back gate...and I draw power from the Sun - at least page three - and I've got a nice, ankle-length red cape and matching pixie boots. When this brown / red dwarf appears on Friday I will have double the energy and might even stop napping in the afternoon. But enough of this frivolity; I must fly to the other end of the cosmos to stop Dr Doom from unleashing repeats of Dallas now that Larry Hagman has shuffled off this mortal coil. So until next time Your OTTness, have a nice day and don't tire yourself out at work. PS, where's those two angels I asked for, you know, Kylie and Carrie.

Hoi, Your Big Lettersness. How come tother Keith gets happy birthday and I get the red hot irons up the bum? Is this favouritism? Referee! Referee. Now listen thou Big Worded One No one expects the Spanish Inquisition but if they come around here with anything that resembles a prody pokey thing that they made in Mr Preston's metal work shop then they are gonna get a good yarkin. It took me two months to get that other thing out of my posterier, but that was because I had to change the batteries twice. So red hot pokers is it? Well I'll raise you two red hot pokers and see you with an Iron Maiden and a rack. But you'll have to do all this before Friday, because that is when Nibiru arrives and he will stick more than red hot pokers up everybody's backsides. We'll have two suns in the sky - check Youtube Antarctica peeps - and you know what that means - I turn into my other, alter-ego. I'll Give you a clue here - he has a big S on his chest and wears his underpants on the outside. Kal El = Keith L. Red hot pokers won't even mark my Y-Fronts mate. But can't banter trivia here, I've got to find a phone booth. Tara for now Your Cloud-cuckooness.

My granny in her autumnal days lived on nothing else but jam sandwiches and my mother had a penchant for Tudor crisp sandwiches. Now my bro, in his youth, would put anything between two slices of bread, and I mean anything.

I actually thought it was you, Malcolm!!! I have no idea who it is, honest injun. Sorry with the mix-up with the birthdays, having a lot of senior moments lately.

Too many Keith's about. DOH. Well while I'm here, have a good one Keith 1. Just remember you're only old when you can't remember things and start repeating yourself...so have a good one Keith and remember you're only old when you can't remember things and start repeating yourself...so have a good one....AARGH!

To this day my favourite sandwhich filling is fried pork sausage with Robertsons thick cut orange marmalade.Sorry Canny Lass, no matter which way I look at that it just does not seem palatable. (Were you by any chance preggas at the time, cos I heard women have funny culinary tastes during that time.)

HOLD IT LADS - MY BIRTHDAY WAS ON THE 10TH. YOU ALREADY SENT ME BIRTHDAY WISHES. Look further down the chat central and you'll see the posting - in between ASTRONOMY & NORTHUMBERLAND TV & FILM. Has the Big G decided I can have two birthdays like her Maj. As for a pint I don't know where any of you lot sup. It would be nice putting faces to faceless images. Just let me know and I'll put some slap on and sort out my best Gucci's and Versace's.

The point that EVERYONE is missing is that it is a plausible scenario. What I mean by that is there could be a planetary object, be it a comet or meteor, that returns within an Earth orbit every - in this case - 3,600 years. Halley's comet returns every 76 years, everyone accepts that, other comets visit us on a regular basis - there is one right now, the Geminid meteors and we all remember Halle-Bop in 1996-97. What if there is something out there heading this way, maybe not now but in the near future. Look at the surface of the moon - it is full of impact craters. Look at our own Earth history - meteor Crater in Arizona - Tunguska in Russia, and of course the one that is supposed to have wiped out the dinosaurs. We can have a chorttle at this one but IT IS A POSSIBLITY!!!! There could be one out there heading in. That is the point I am trying to make. I know we are laughing at this, but deep down there are a lot of worried people. Governments would not broadcast this kind of news for fear of what it would do to the infrastructure. People would panic, that is a fact. Let's just hope we all see the New Year in, but I reiterate - it is a possible scenario peeps, keep that in mind.

That sounds revolting, Malcolm. You must have a cast-iron stomach.