keith lockey

Is it me or is this a sorry state of affairs; I mean have we really come to this? http://uk.news.yahoo...67.html#6cvS5De

I don't think they are left wing, Adam. They are more observations on the Tory Government but I don't think that necessarily makes them left wing as such, as contradictory as that sounds. The first one, naturally, alludes to the pit closures but the second one is more a diatribe against God - using the Tories as the scapegoat again. Don't for one moment think I am defending the Tories - no way - but what we have in party politics now is a parallel universe of ideas. You can't actually tell the difference - or rather you couldn't - between the Tories and Labour. It's that old adage - what they say to get into power and what they do when they are in is two different things. Kiss the baby then steal its candy. I thought the clips were just two great examples of the little man standing up against the big system - but both knowing they can't win. The Tories got a slating in both cases but it could just as well apply to Labour as well I suppose. (Except they haven't got a party anymore thanks to Gordo.)

Fear not, Bedlingtonians, I have assembled an awesome team of superheroes to save us from the Mayan calender predictions forecasted for tomorrow. Never before has such a task force been united. More powerful than the Avengers; more magnificent than the seven; more justifible than the Justice League of America, more legendary than the Legion of Super heroes - I present our saviours; our last line of defence - The Bedlington Bravehearts... er, then again, you better start digging deep bunkers.

Happy birthday Pete - a lot of December births on this site isn't there.

Cheers, before or after Doomsday?

The penny drops and the veil is lifted. I can RIP now. Sigh.

Congrats Keith. Are they going to call it Nibiru?

I'm veggie, Canny Lass, but I can try it with a Linda McCartney sausage. Someone has told me he tried a fried banana. UGH! PS, Malcolm, who am I up against on the other site - please enlighten me in a PM if you will.

Foxy & Malcolm - you are ahead of me on this one. Is it someone I should know or someone who used to be a regular contributor.

The Feast of Faith is on the other site - food. It comes under banana sandwiches. I bet you're the type that puts margarine and sugar on and I bet you cut your 'nana sandwiches with a knife. And as for lending me insight to gaze beyond the heavens well I've already got X-Ray eyes, ya boo hiss. Didn't they have DC Comics at your end of the Universe. Anyway, if I wanted that I would have tuned into the Sky at Night with Sir Patrick, bless his little cotton socks. (You better be looking after him up there, or else.) But Just remember I'm faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than an east coast train. I can leap over tall buildings...well at least the back gate...and I draw power from the Sun - at least page three - and I've got a nice, ankle-length red cape and matching pixie boots. When this brown / red dwarf appears on Friday I will have double the energy and might even stop napping in the afternoon. But enough of this frivolity; I must fly to the other end of the cosmos to stop Dr Doom from unleashing repeats of Dallas now that Larry Hagman has shuffled off this mortal coil. So until next time Your OTTness, have a nice day and don't tire yourself out at work. PS, where's those two angels I asked for, you know, Kylie and Carrie.

Hoi, Your Big Lettersness. How come tother Keith gets happy birthday and I get the red hot irons up the bum? Is this favouritism? Referee! Referee. Now listen thou Big Worded One No one expects the Spanish Inquisition but if they come around here with anything that resembles a prody pokey thing that they made in Mr Preston's metal work shop then they are gonna get a good yarkin. It took me two months to get that other thing out of my posterier, but that was because I had to change the batteries twice. So red hot pokers is it? Well I'll raise you two red hot pokers and see you with an Iron Maiden and a rack. But you'll have to do all this before Friday, because that is when Nibiru arrives and he will stick more than red hot pokers up everybody's backsides. We'll have two suns in the sky - check Youtube Antarctica peeps - and you know what that means - I turn into my other, alter-ego. I'll Give you a clue here - he has a big S on his chest and wears his underpants on the outside. Kal El = Keith L. Red hot pokers won't even mark my Y-Fronts mate. But can't banter trivia here, I've got to find a phone booth. Tara for now Your Cloud-cuckooness.

My granny in her autumnal days lived on nothing else but jam sandwiches and my mother had a penchant for Tudor crisp sandwiches. Now my bro, in his youth, would put anything between two slices of bread, and I mean anything.

I actually thought it was you, Malcolm!!! I have no idea who it is, honest injun. Sorry with the mix-up with the birthdays, having a lot of senior moments lately.

Too many Keith's about. DOH. Well while I'm here, have a good one Keith 1. Just remember you're only old when you can't remember things and start repeating yourself...so have a good one Keith and remember you're only old when you can't remember things and start repeating yourself...so have a good one....AARGH!

To this day my favourite sandwhich filling is fried pork sausage with Robertsons thick cut orange marmalade.Sorry Canny Lass, no matter which way I look at that it just does not seem palatable. (Were you by any chance preggas at the time, cos I heard women have funny culinary tastes during that time.)

HOLD IT LADS - MY BIRTHDAY WAS ON THE 10TH. YOU ALREADY SENT ME BIRTHDAY WISHES. Look further down the chat central and you'll see the posting - in between ASTRONOMY & NORTHUMBERLAND TV & FILM. Has the Big G decided I can have two birthdays like her Maj. As for a pint I don't know where any of you lot sup. It would be nice putting faces to faceless images. Just let me know and I'll put some slap on and sort out my best Gucci's and Versace's.

The point that EVERYONE is missing is that it is a plausible scenario. What I mean by that is there could be a planetary object, be it a comet or meteor, that returns within an Earth orbit every - in this case - 3,600 years. Halley's comet returns every 76 years, everyone accepts that, other comets visit us on a regular basis - there is one right now, the Geminid meteors and we all remember Halle-Bop in 1996-97. What if there is something out there heading this way, maybe not now but in the near future. Look at the surface of the moon - it is full of impact craters. Look at our own Earth history - meteor Crater in Arizona - Tunguska in Russia, and of course the one that is supposed to have wiped out the dinosaurs. We can have a chorttle at this one but IT IS A POSSIBLITY!!!! There could be one out there heading in. That is the point I am trying to make. I know we are laughing at this, but deep down there are a lot of worried people. Governments would not broadcast this kind of news for fear of what it would do to the infrastructure. People would panic, that is a fact. Let's just hope we all see the New Year in, but I reiterate - it is a possible scenario peeps, keep that in mind.

That sounds revolting, Malcolm. You must have a cast-iron stomach.

Okay, just disowned my bro over this one. we got on talking about what we used to eat at home and touched on banana sanwiches. (Which i still luv.) Now as far as I'm concerned there is only one way to eat a 'nana sandwich. You get a slice of bread, squash banana onto it, then fold it over until the banana is oozing out the sides, then you eat it. But my bro says he puts...ugh....sugar on his...puke, vomit...but worse still margarine...aargh! What a wimp; what a culinary crime. Please tell me others don't do this.

Rock on, Malcolm, get the scarlet cloaks out, we'll take on all-comers. I'll unsheath my weapon...er better not, the magistrate said I hadn't to do that anymore. We'll give them Thermopylae if they want it.

You are going to SMIT me with your might staff!! I hope that isn't innuendo! I mean I've been propositioned before but being smit by someone's staff sounds a bit Julian Clary. Anyway, so nice to hear from you again Big G. How's your son, JC? Some say it is He who is winging his way back to us on Nibiru, Planet X, Nemesis, et al. By the way, I was doing some research on that last night - into the wee hours actually, and I suddenly realised that the last time Nibiru came around there was the great flood that I mentioned afore in that book of yours. Now that was kind of spooky, it put the wind up me. But hey ho, life will start all over again and you'll have another set of people to confuse with your religion(s). Do me a favour thgough, will you, if all the politicians and world leaders are going to survive in the underground bunkers and 'Noah's arks' then do you think you could sink a few accidently on purpose. Names will be provided on request but one is George W and rhymes with hush! PS - please don't let Damiel O'Donnel be on the list of saves. Anyway, as you say, you are everywhere and are watching me watching you watching me, etc. So now that I've got your undivided attention can I have my guitar back, the Gibson 335 copy that I was forced to sell in the seventies when I was young, good loooking and had hair. (Is that laughter in heaven I hear?) Now as far as telling us to be afraid, very afraid I should inform you right off that you are dealing with Bedlingtonians here - aka twinned with Sparta. Now the last time I heard that phrase - be afraid...it was in the Addams family - spoken by Christina Ricci as Wednesday. Which makes me wonder why one such as illustrious as yourself is plagerising Hollywood scripts. . So Big G, what are we going to do about the 21st? are we really going to cash in our fish and chips, or is it another end of the world hoax? Personaly I don't give a damn, Scarlett. But nice hearing from you, feel free to pop in for a glass of dry white anytime, I'm sure you know where I live. Give my regards to Sir Patrick Moore and tell him things won't be the same without him. Toodle pip, your bigness and remember one thing, power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely - this could apply to Heaven as well I suppose. Watch your back.

This sums everything up. This is why I got rid of my TV. Alas Youtube is no better - maybe worse!