keith lockey

NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!! It's like I said before, Merc', you're all standing too close to the elephant to see it proper. There is something about songs they have sang - or rather the titles. Two are glaringly obvious, the other two aren't. And forget about iguanas! (Bryan Ferry was the lounge lizard.)

Okay you varmints ahm a'givin'ya one last clue before 6pm an' then ahm comin' in with both shootin' irons blazin'. You all must have the blind staggers from sippin' that rot gut whiskey at your local bucket of blood not to get this connection, either that or you got the brain cells of a roostered buzz worm. So listen up you bunch of curly wolfs. That durn critter Keith gave ya two clues that stand out like a calico queen in a church. All ya gotta do is think of songs they have sang and more importantly their titles. Ah might as well give you knot-heads the answer. So fill up your meat bags with a Kentucky breakfast and give it some jesse. YA ALL GOT TIL 6PM

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Look at what you wrote before Keith, for there are clues in your previous witty answer. You unwittingly stumbled upon the secret!!!

Going in the wrong direction there, Keith. We should be thinking songs, peeps.

Keithy Weethy - you do not know how close you are. "He hits the bar - volleys the rebound back towards the net but the ball is kicked off the line - referee...referee!!" So close yet so far, Keith. You have the pieces of the jigsaw in front of you, now put them together.

Nope, sorry Pete, keep trying, there is a connection.

It's the sonic booms from the cloaked spaceships from Planet X - Nibiru. Come the 21st Dec they will reveal themselves and us mere mortals will be nothing but foodstuff for their reptilian bellies. They will put Peter Mandhelson (spelling?) in no 10 and bring back Maggie as queen bitch. They are already polluting the atmosphere with chemtrails so that they can breath and our blue planet will be turned into a twilight world with subdued sunrises and sunsets with intermitten showers and bright patches....England won the first test at Headingly today.....Hello nurse, that's a big syringe you've got.

You are right, Adam, Privatisation has a lot to answer to.

They might have Pete, but it's not what I'm looking for. You are on the right track with your thinking though - ie a song connection. DON'T TELL THE OTHER VARMINTS THOUGH...DOH!

Nope - Merc' Nope - CL Two songs should be obvious. Get those and you can find your way to the others. One of those might be a trite hard because....shut up Keith, shut up.

No, nay, never, no, nay no, never, no, nay. But concentrate on the songs.

Peter Gabriel asked Dolly Parton to duet on Don't Give Up!!!!!!!!! I never knew that Merc'; I can't get my head around that. Some good lateral thinking there but unfortunately wrong. Can't give you any clues on this one, but there is a connection - as always.

This might help CL. http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/YourChildsWelfareAtSchool/DG_066966

No, my bro is the photographer, I just point the box-brownie and hope for the best. That is actually what came out. Max - the cat - hasn't got those coloured eyes. It must be light refraction or whatever. But it's a darn good photo despite the eye colours. I normally get "you photoshopped that". but honest injun, Malcolm, that is how it came out. Weird but true. Bless his little cotton socks - he wakes me up by head-butting me.

Naw, Malcolm, this is my white (and black) cat. And no I haven't done anything to the photo - I wouldn't know how.

Nope, sorry Malcolm. Not what I'm looking for. (Actually this might be harder than I first thought...mmm)

Thanks lads. I wouldn't have known that one. To be honest I never watched any of those or Deep Space Nine or the other Star Trek spinoffs. So I can excuse myself for not knowing it. RIGHT! ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR NEXT BATCH - THESE SHOULD BE EASY. WHAT CONNECTS THE ABOVE?

So you did....doh! Not at my best today. Are we looking at British or American sci-fi. In fact is Turhan Bey human or animal?

I've resisted the itch to look it up, Malcom, but I'm thinking a Star Wars actor! but I wasn't a great fan of those flicks - except Carrie Fisher in that outfit.

When I was a teenager at school in the late sixties early seventies my mam got visited often by the schoolboard man. The reason was I had a poisoned heel and couldn't get any shoes on. In the end the headmaster - Mister Surtees - gave me a lift every day. As I say, that was 1960s-70s; and I believe the schoolboard man was around before that.

Thanks for confirming it Brett, I thought I was losing my muggies. There were a few 'sounds' about 4.30pm - 5.pm on Tuesday and then again at teatime yesterday. And yes, there was a tremor. I didn't want to mention that in case that rapscallion Keith sent for the men in white coats. But, like always, no one else will have heard them or pay the slightest bit of attention. They will be confined to the shrug of the shoulders department.

That's so not true, Keith. I'm using the extra electrickery to power up my energy suit - like Iron man. So that when the space invaders from Nibiru arrive I can fight them off and save the world and you can go to the pub and have a pint in peace. It's a good capture of my double-chins though, you must admit.

Not being funny this time but for two days I've been hearing 'booming' sounds, like underground explosions. Anyone else hear them?

ALIEN TECHNOLOGY, MALCOLM.

AM PLUM TUCKERED OUT YOU VARMINTS AND I HAVE THE WORKMEN HERE TOMORROW. BUT LIKE ARNIE...I'LL BE BACK.