Keith Scantlebury

Give the cat a key

Huh !!! Favouritism again !!!!!

Well that narrows it down to a few thousand John. I dont know if you heard or not, there was damage done to cars in the station over the weekend again. Cars around your area as well as on the Palace estate, the station itself , School road and Whitley tce. It was more general damage, broken wipers, cracked windscreen and scratches rather than slashed tyres. I had my tyres done in the new year, (among others). One thing I have been told is , when reporting to the police, ask for a CRIME number rather than an INCIDENT number. It never seems to be top of the agenda to catch these scroats. It reminds me of the story of a man ringing the police to report someone breaking into his shed, the person taking the call says that no-one is available just now, stay in the house and lock your doors, an officer will be there as soon as one is available. He puts the phone down, waits a moment before dialling 999. "I've just shot the the b*****d breaking into my shed". Within a few minutes, police were round is house like flies round a s**t heap. Plenty of officers available when the criminal is hurt !. Oh aye, my slashed tyres, I reported it to the police in early January and it is now late October and I am still waiting for an officer to come !!. Crime figures are falling because among other things, they are ignoring reports of crime.

You were thinking of the late Raul Julia , keith

Malcolm and his last swimming partner, please spare a thought for thepoor shark.

The shark would CHOWK , Do you really want to be held responsible for inflcting Malcolm on a poor defencless Great White?

Amanda Donahoe

RIGHT !!!!!! Bear wrestling suit, bought at Argooose. Bring it on BRUIN !!

Aye and the Percy would be called the "High House"

The first one is from The rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars -- David Bowie . Is the second one from Songs in the key of Life -- Stevie Wonder. I can't even guess at the third ( it looks like an instrument of torture that I am currently enduring in order to qualify for this free bar !!)

HUH how how come the blue eyed boys get the glamourus gigs , this tour of the exotic big houses of the states and Mercs swimming with sharks etc, I thought that one was so good, I would have given it to the wife for xmas ( I bought her a plot in the church yard last year and she has'nt had the decency to use it yet). ME, ME !!!! on the other hand has to offer myself up for experiments on the old chutney channel. (Mind you if there IS a free bar, it could be quite a pleasurable experience. )

...... AND ME !!

got it SWEET THURSDAY

Nope cant find one with a Thursday in it (and the above should've read free BAR not BAT )

BUT !! Do get a full English every morning a free bat at night ?

Johny Mathis ---- Saturday Sunshine 1968 ----- Come Saturday Morning 1970 ----------- That Sunday 1983

We'll meet at his place after dark and give him the snip Malcolm , eh ? That'll larn'im to mess with wor heeds

Mamas & Papas - (Monday Monday) , Rolling Stones - (Ruby Tuesday) , Matt Monro ( Wednesday's Child), Johnny Mathis - (Saturday Sunshine), Easy Beats - (Friday on my mind), Elton John - (Saturday Nights allright For Fighting) , Lionel Ritchie -(Easy like a Sunday Morning) ---------------- Where am I going ?, What will I be doing? Give me my prize immediately !!!

They all had songs with days of the week in the title

NEVER !!!! I thought about that earlier, but I couldn't think of a Bowie song that was a book title, 1984 , never even thought of it .

........or things in space, as you say Merc , Stardust Mat Monro, Bowie (well loads of stuff really) Kate Bush had a single - Rocket Man and did Kenny & Dolly do a version of Blue Moon of Kentucky

The man who fell to earth ?

This is doing my head in now !!!!

OK then , they were all abducted by aliens, or so they claim.