Hamburger Pimp

Grandfathers hanging themselves in barns, going blind through drinking illegal vodka, mullets, dancing bears, fur hats, gulags, Boris Yeltsin, Stalin's purges, Roman Abramovich, Cossack anti-perspirant, sushi poisoners, Constantin Chernenko, that sniper fellow, plastic pitches... Can you hear me, plastic pitches? Your boys took one HELL of a beating! Oy vey the lads! PS Re: Scotland: Un-lucky!

While not wishing to pour cold water on your little Cagney and Lacey impression, it would surprise me if Cympil were able to locate her own posterior without recourse to using both of her hands and a map.

BURN THE VELOCIPEDOPHILE!!!!!!!!111!!!!!IWERERIGHTABOUTTHATSADDLE!!!!!!11!!!

QED.

Another troll? Splendid. Just what this place needs.

A worthwhile endeavour. Well done, that man. Well, honours even, a point away from home, dignity intact, a fair result etc etc... A couple of points worth mentioning. Alan Smith is a knacker. Mike Ashley looks like a pork butcher. Ross Wallace and Kenwood Chef are good players. Roy Keane should get a shave and a decent jacket, the money he's on. I'll bid you a good day.

Anyone?

It's the eve of the game that all of the region's football supporters look out for. Sunderland vs Newcastle. Kit-Kats vs Magpies. Roy "He Walks His Dog, You Know" Keano vs "Big" Sam "No Stranger to the Steak Bake" Allardyce. Evil vs Good. With both teams surfing the crest of a slump and gale force winds forecast, tomorrow's game scarcely promises to be a treat for the purist. Blood, snot and tears will be the order of the day, military metaphors will abound, fists will be clenched, sinews strained and diminuitive foreigners kicked up in the air. This twenty-something scenester's considered opinion? A hard-fought two-nil victory for the forces of righteousness and much rending of flesh and wailing from the Wearside inbreds. But, heck, what do I know? The square root of Sweet !*!@# Adams, that's what. Why not post your equally idiotic opinions? Tell us who you reckon will win and why they're all a bliddy disgrace, the money they're on. You know you want to.

Scum.

Does it belong to Liam Gallagher? Sunny today, what? How 'bout that Johnny Wilkinson, eh? He's some boy. Anyhoo, this pet. Mad ferret!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!IEMADFORIT!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Try the cues at the snooker club!!LOLZ!!11!!!!!!!!!!147!!!!!!!!!!!

Johnny Wilkinson. So the little man is going to play for England,well good luck to him he seems to put country before the people that pay his wages,if I say if I should say when he gets injured playing for country and is unavailable for the Newcastle Falcons then they should suspend him and fine him all wages.They should not put him on the transfer list but let the little !*!@# rot,then see how many games he gets for England. There is too much money in club rugby now for players to be 'loaned' out to play for another team.National teams should revert back to amateur status. Then maybe we would see rugby with players actually wanting to wear the shirt for pride!

In their last game they beat Everton, who were sixth at start of play. They have yet to play the three teams you named.

So, what's your view? Is he deliberately injuring himself while on England duty in order to avoid playing for Newcastle? Or are these injuries inevitable, in which case he would just pull up lame while playing for Newcastle in a couple of weeks time, regardless of whether he went away with England?

The NEWCASTLE supporters I've met have seemed pretty happy with Owen when they came back from seeing him score last-minute winners in two home games already this season.

Arson

What absolute nonsense. Owen was fit to come on and play on Sunday. If Newcastle had a game this Saturday, Allardyce would be picking him. Does wanting to represent your country make you a "little !*!@#"? What does that make somebody who slings nasty abuse at a player who has delighted millions of England supporters with important goals over the last nine years?

Comedy, eh? It's all about timing.

How dare you, madam!

Nonsense. It's all downhill. Ten minutes, maximum. Just enough to build up a not unmanly thirst for the next pint. The bands in the Tavern are alright. A bit trad for the tastes of this mid 20s hip-hopper, but perfectly fine for middle-aged types.

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