Hamburger Pimp

"Give them a sense of pride..."

:D He's only gone and topped the "Guinnessy" tour de force!

Not sure there would be too much celebrating were Newcastle to finish the season second bottom but above Sunderland. Enjoyable as it is to beat the knackers from down the road, Newcastle should be setting their sights higher than being top of the north-east dungheap. Challenging for a UEFA spot and a decent cup run or two should be the aim for this season.

Howay Spartans! The Terriers can go tickle. And that, my virtual friends, is swearing.

If you don't like it here, there is always the option to go live somewhere else. I daresay the town would struggle along without you.

A human.

Much obliged.

Giddy up!!!!!!!11!!!NIMBLEFINGERS!!!!!111!!!!

Have you got any friends, Blank?

I agree. Carr is no good. Hopefully, Geremi will slot in there when Barton is fit again.

A little early to be smoking crack, no?

Not the predicted goal-fest, then. A lack of creativity in midfield, Milner excepted, saw very little being created for any of the Toon's much-vaunted strike force. Three central midfielders is too many. Sam should drop Smith, put the new left-back in, and play N'Zogbia and Milner on the wings. Sorted.

The Sunday trading laws a "controversial subject"? You don't pull any punches do you, Mr Darn? One shudders to think what hard-hitting subjects you have waiting up your sleeve. "Aren't these new 5p pieces fiddly, eh?" "Opening milk cartons: what's that all about?" "Eeeh, aren't the nights putting in?" Keep sticking it to The Man, Darno. Fight the Power!

A woman of discernment and taste. If only there were more of you around.

No.

Newcastle 3 Aston Villa 2.

Hello, Chianti!

Now come on, chaps. This is a place to discuss local affairs, harrumph about those no-goodniks at Wansbeck Council and generally knock about the burning issues of the day. Do we really want to sink to the level of bandying around the addresses of smut-based websites and online blue movie cinemas? Of course not. Save that type of thing for a Private Message.

I think he's after a pastie.

It's admirable the way you attempt to communicate with him like one reasonable adult to another. However, you would probably have more success travelling to Whipsnade Zoo and trying to reason with the chimpanzees, pointing out that flinging their faeces everywhere and playing with themselves in front of small children is neither productive nor in keeping with the strictures of Miss Emily Post. Hope this helps.

Bernard Righton Proof that you don't need to be racist or sexist to be funny.