Hamburger Pimp

You've argued a pretty convincing case there, young Monsta, but I'm afraid I disagree.

£133m Offer for Toon! The Halls have sold up, Fat Freddie will be next to be offered an enormous wedge of cake cash. Giddy up!

I agree with threegee on the subject of ID cards.

You misunderstand. By "falling crime rate" what I mean is that there are fewer crimes taking place in the Northumbria area. This is a matter of statistical record. The last ten years has seen crime decrease and prosperity increase. Despite what right-wing newspapers say, this country is not "going to hell on a handcart".

David Beckhams was there?

Apart from the falling crime rate and increased prosperity you mean?

What an hilarious bit of Photoshopping! You must be Monsta's tutor in his Mong Level HTML BSc, are you? I'll tell you what, though. You should post this meisterwerk on every single thread, so that no casual visitor to the site can avoid it's comic majesty. You're great, you.

You're drinking bleach these days? Fair play to you, I hear it's a far superior drink to meths.

Monsta and Cympil there, Bedlington's answer to Huntley and Carr.

There we are then.

Not really.

Why is the cover art to "I wish it could be Christmas every day" the same as the cuff of a warlock's gown? They're both Wizzard sleeves!!!!!!LOL!!!11!!!!!!!SEEMYBABYJIVE!!!11!!!!!!

Why is someone who enjoys Darkbase CDs very much like a person who has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act? They're both raving mad!!!!LOL!!!!111!!!!!!!ACIEEEEEED!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between an ornithologist and someone who can't spell properly? One is a bird watcher and the other is a word botcher!!!!LOL!!!11!!!!!PUTYOURHANDSALLOVERBILLODDIE!!!!!!11!!!!!!

Should you worry if an IT specialist sends you an animated computer image? Yes, always beware geeks bearing gifs!!!!LOL!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!JPG!!!!!!!11!!!!

What is Terry Wogan's favourite rugby team? Wigan!!!LOL!!!11!!!!IEWIG-ON!!!!!!11!!!!!

What did the Frenchman say to register his dismay at the price of bottled water? Eau dear!!!!!LOL!!!1!!!!111!!!!!!H2O!!!!!!!!1!!!!

What do you call a gay penguin? A puffin!!!!LOL!!!11!!!!!!!IMFREE!!!!!1!!!!!!!

What did the Yorkshireman, who enjoyed chewing, buy from the online auction site? e-Bay gum!!!!LOL!!!11!!!!!!BUYITNOW!!!!!11!!!!!!!

It was always a foolish idea that Harry should serve in Iraq. You can't play tennis with all that bombing going on!!!!LOL!!!11!!!!!!!LOVEFORTY!!!!!!11!!

What do you call a woman who works in a power station? Millie Watts!!!!LOL!!!!11!!!3MILEISLAND!!!1!!!!!!!!!

The other week I took a woman to a restaurant for a date. It was alright, but it wasn't very filling!!!!LOL!!!!!!!11!!IEITWASTHEFRUITCALLEDADATE!!!!!11!!!!!

Why was the dentist unhappy? Because he was looking down in the mouth!!!!!LOL!!!!11!!!!!!TOOTHHURTY!!!!1!!!!

It's good to see that Greggs take their position as purveyors of low-quality pastries seriously, rightly taking the moral high ground and refusing service to infamous ne'er-do-wells who have paid off their debt to society. (l, rubber-faced comedian Jimmy Carr r, henchwoman to a monster Maxine Carr) You never see these two together, do you?

Really? How do you manage your finances without one?