Sw@lnalla
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Posts posted by Sw@lnalla
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where are regarded the nice places to live.
thanks all.......
I'd stay away from Bedlington if I were you.
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Phew
Isn't this crap 'off topic' ?
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THAR SHE BLOWS
Another oldie.
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Also the empty shop you are talking about is/was Millne house and the location of Millne's Department Store.
Are you related?
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THAR SHE BLOWS
Another oldie. I have a stammer lol
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THAR SHE BLOWS
Another oldie.
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Explain....
I've given hints aplenty.
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Have the Girls, intoxicated and guilty, found their own Nirvana?
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And Aye...i am tough
Fools are always tough.
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I find it amazing that you spend so much time explaining the obvious to the unintelligent.
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i`m always right Pete...am a woman
Another meaningless statement.
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Hows Pete ment to know? Is he a mind-reader or summic? Numpty
Calling Pete names is somewhat unkind, is it not?
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yes your fn hilarious arnt you power gone to your head and you now think your a god? please remove the post now thank you!
Can I have a double of what this bairns on?
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A general chat area for members, or not?
I was under the impression that 'Talk of the Town' was members only, or did I miss something?
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Cympil reminds me of someone Pete, is it this?
I'll tell you a story that is sure to please,
Of a great farting contest at Burton-on-Tees
Where all the best arses paraded the field,
To compete in a contest for various shields.
Some tighten their arses and fart up the scale,
To compete for a cup and a gallon of ale.
While others whose arses are biggest and strongest,
Compete in the section for loudest and longest.
Now this years event had drawn quite a large crowd,
And the betting was even on Mrs. MacLeod.
For it had appeared in the evening edition,
That this lady's !*!@# was in perfect condition.
Now, old Mrs. Jones had a perfect backside,
Half a forest of hairs with a wart on each side.
And she fancied her chances of winning with ease,
Having trained on a diet of cabbage and peas.
The Vicar arrived and ascended the stand,
And thus he addressed this remarkable band.
"The contest is on as is shown in the bills,
We've precluded the use of injections and pills."
Mrs. Bindle arrived amid roars of applause,
And promptly proceeded to pull off her drawers,
For though she'd no chance in the farting display,
She'd the prettiest bottom you'd see this day.
Now, young Mrs. Pothole was backed for a place,
Though she'd often been placed in the deepest disgrace
By dropping a fart that had beaten the organ,
And the poor Vicar, old Jonathon Morgan.
The ladies lined up at the signal to start,
And winning the toss, Mrs. Jones took first fart
The people around stood in silence and wonder,
While her wireless announced gale warnings and thunder.
Now, Mrs. MacLeod reckoned nothing of this,
She'd had some weak tea and was all wind and pride.
So she took up her place and her !*!@# opened wide,
But unluckily !*!@#... and was disqualified.
Then young Mrs. Pothole was called to the front,
And started by doing a wonderful stunt.
She took a deep breath and clenching her hands,
She blew the whole roof off the popular stands.
That left Mrs. Bindle, who shyly appeared,
And smiled at the clergy who lustily cheered.
And though it was reckoned her chances were small,
She let out a winner, outfarting them all.
With hands on her hips, she stood farting alone,
And the crowd stood amazed at the sweetness of tone.
And the clergy agreed without hindrance or pause,
And said, 'First, Mrs. Bindle... now pull up your drawers!'
But with muscles well tensed and legs full apart,
She started a final and glorious fart.
Beginning with 'Chopin' and ending with 'Wing'
She went right up the scale to 'God Save the King'.
She went to the rostrum with maidenly gait,
And took from the panel, a set of gold plate.
Then she turned to the Vicar with sweetness sublime
And smilingly said, 'Come up and see me some time!'
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Later tonight.
Imagine erecting a statue to Master Bates on Tyneside.
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Imagine erecting a statue to Master Bates on Tyneside.
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Denzel's a Big Dawg he's been on a while :lol:
Or, wee willie winky, depends who you talk to.
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Pete and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, What 20 Million British Women Want.
He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages.
His wife was a little annoyed. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"
Pete calmly replied, "I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right."
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Not a nice thing to say to a lady.
Was I talking to a lady Pete?
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Denzel your not a Sunderland supporter a yuh.
There will always be that nagging doubt now that Sunderland is under Irish catholic ownership and management.
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How the hell did I get dragged into this?
Maybe you aren't in tune with Cympils needs yet, let's face it, she is very being very protective.
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I get the impression you don`t like Denzel? every other post you leave you`re either rolling your eyes or been sarcastic..what the hell is wrong with you lot
Look in the mirror, you have a lot in common with Denzel except for one thing, he has some intelligence.
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Where am i gonna take me That online auction site that is in no way as good as Free Bedlington.co.uk Classifieds parcels to
Look behind you.
Wansbeck Property Renovation
in Talk of the Town
Posted
I'm pleased I don't have to live with my parents, they're dead.