Brian Cross

Testicle Therapy Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball seemed to hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him. 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'? He replied: It feels absolutely great,..... but I still think my thumb's broken!

Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says, " Dave, that's one of the nicest most respectful things I've ever seen " Dave replies, " Well we were married for nearly 20 years "

Glad i wasn't the only one Pete !

dunno wot happened Keith problee too much fourex and i musta passed out and didn't hear nowt ?

Sorry heard nowt.

It made me to watch the sick bastard i am with you all the way Merlin.

Ya gotta laugh at 'em

ta foxy

any pics of Whitley my brother attended the school.

Man sitting at home on the veranda with his wife and he says, "I love you." She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?" He replies, "It's me............. and I'm talking to the beer."

my mate has 18ft pet croc that constantly brings back moggy's and leaves them at his back door

Good luck with the "Moggy" Malcolm I have never liked them but each to his own ...my son has a large bull terrier that loves em

Any good pease peas pudding recipes out there

i suggest you relocate the cat Mal, if you have a large round mouth shovel handy it will do the trick.

If any one was interested 20th march was international Sparrow day i bet everyone celebrated it ....now where did i put my tablets ?

Happy Birthday Mick M i hope you have a good one ........

Two old Naval Aviators are getting very drunk in the Wardroom when suddenly one Of 'em throws up all over himself. "Damn, now my wife will kill me!" His buddy says, "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty in your breast Pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty Dollars to have it dry-cleaned." So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually they stumble out and Go home and this guy's wife starts to chew his ass out. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, You're disgusting!" Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, he says, "Now Way a mint, I can splain everthin. Ish snot wha chew think. I only had a Cupla drrrinks. But thish damn Fishead ga ssick on me. He had one too manee And he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave Me twennie bucks for the cleanin bill! His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty Bucks." Oh yeah, I almos' fergot, he crapped in my pants, too.

Thanks all I did have a good day

INDIANS DON'T USE SADDLES.... A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.... An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off. ' What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked the service-station attendant. 'Nothing,' the woman answered. 'I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.' 'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians don't use saddles'.

Happy Birthday Vic hope you have a great day.........

What do you call the first Afghan off the boat? Amhere What do you call the second Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwel What do you call the third Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim

That would be good to watch ...the battle between The monsta and the Beast any one giving odds.

Where is Monsta lately i have been missing his posts.

My cousin Albert Gibbon had the bank top a long time ago it was a good pub then and we all had some good times .

Not at all mate you will feel better now its all in the open HaHa :whistle: P.S hope you can take a joke Keith.......