Malcolm Robinson

Not sure about that one foxy but the Great Fire of Bedlington is etched in charcoal on my memory seeing as it was our abode that went up in flames!

I remember Maggie May.........

A popular Greek calendar for next year................seems they still have memories of German occupation! This time of course its a Euro sign not a Swastika!

If thats the case than a very large pressie must be in order!

The roller-coaster has just mounted the top rail and all the back stops put in place to stop it rolling backwards look to be as effective as a chocolate fireguard because at last Papandreou has bowed to public pressure, thrown the towel in and called a referendum. There aren't any brakes to stop the car careering down the rails going forward! If the Greece populous rejects their bailout terms, and I would think that pretty likely, all bets are off and we will see the politicos floundering. I will be shocked if we don't quickly see a German back-up plan roll out and that could be two Euros or even a return of the Deutsche Mark MK11. It will be interesting to see where France wants to play, in the Premiership or the Championship? As for the UK, instead of dithering around at the edges we should be embarking on a programme to make our country self-sustainable, independent and resilient. Course that would take real leadership, not something we have seen in the UK for a generation!

Happy Birthday ex-B..........

A 92-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, ' Bill , everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?' Bill replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's helping me out. When I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *!*!@# *!, the light goes on. When I'm done, *!*!@# *!, the light goes off.' 'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bill 's wife. 'Glenna ,' he says, ' Bill is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *!*!@# *!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *!*!@# *! The light goes off?' 'OH DAMM!' she says. 'He's weeing in the fridge again!!!!'

An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London's most expensive hotels. When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She explode and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast." The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use." 'But I didn't use them," she said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said. "But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for £50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied. "But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager. "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

EU leaders hadn't finished their back slapping when the first crack appeared in their recent agreement. The German Constitutional court finally reached a decision, albeit a temporary one, on the German contribution to the EFSF. Well the delegation of powers to a select few anyway but in effect it stops the EFSF dead in its tracks as Germany is the largest backer. http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/0,1518,794578,00.html Got to hand it to the Germans, not only have they got a constitution they have a legal body in place to protect it for the benefit of the German people and woe betide any of their politicians who try and dilute their sovereignty or in this case give public cash away! Might well be a lesson for the Uk here..........

Looking a bit closer at this new EU deal which has been heralded by most all the mainstream media as a 'Euro Saviour' it would seem not only are the exact details missing so is any realistic probability of its success! The increased firepower needed is to be made up of extra contributions, by whom, the countries needing the bailouts? The BRICs have been mentioned but given the recent history of one European fiscal crisis after another I wonder if anyone in their right mind will jump in and provide the huge amount of cash needed. Mr Osborne emerged saying the UK would not be contributing, really, what about our 'aid' to our closest euro neighbour and also the fact that the UK makes up a percentage of any IMF fund. Germany has now capped its losses in the EFSF effectively releasing them of being guarantor of last resort, just what an investor will be looking for, never mind the 20% of guarantee attached to any future losses even after swallowing a 50% loss????? Can this be made any less attractive? Oh yes it can, let's get some leverage on the loans! This is akin to anyone asking the bank for 10K to buy a car and the bank saying don't just take 10K take 50K and buy 2 and have a holiday. At some point in time we arrive at payback time and putting that off is what has got us in the mire in the first place! We can always pay it off with a new credit card of course except that has an ever increasing rate of APR! Underlying a Greek rescue is the 50% haircut banks and bondholders will be asked to take. Accepted by banking spokespersons (IIF) yet still needing ratification by the banks themselves, who as we all know are famously magnanimous, this deal will immediately call into question if not accelerate the processing of the CDS they hold. The question which needs to be asked is why have they bought 'insurance' only to ignore it and accept a 50% write-down? The plan is to half Greek debt by gearing up the loan fund? This is string theory for quantum fiscal mechanics! If anyone thinks Greece will be in a good position with a debt to GDP ratio of 120%, as this plan expects in 2020, then they need to apply to be an EU Commissioner! Greece is already slipping on present austerity commitments and state asset sales, ramping up the expectations to insurmountable heights can only have one conclusion! Looking at the French question, Sarko looks to have lost his fight to get French banks recapitalised by anyone or anything other than France herself. He might be grinning like a cat that swallowed the cream but reality in this case will be like a sledgehammer! When France does have to do its own housekeeping it must ultimately call into question the French AAA rating because the only way they can achieve that will be to sell sovereign assets! Course he might win the Chinese over with his Gallic charm, I would just wonder what will have to be given away to get them to the table in the first place, possibly the next IMF headship? Berlusconi might think he too could look with a degree of surety towards another election but even if the EFSF bazooka, or the SIV as will be created now, was capitalised up to the hilt for all Euro countries in trouble, Italy would need the whole lot for itself. Madness! The whole initiative looks to be a way of extending the crisis to get over impending elections and not just those within Europe! The politicos and their acolytes will now be deployed in Summit after Summit saying they are working on the final, final, final details while the rest of us mere mortals look on in total disbelief.

Well thats a big relief...................... http://uk.news.yahoo...-022151156.html Any bets on how long it will take to unravel?

Do as I say not as ................. http://uk.news.yahoo.com/cable-scourge-tax-dodgers-fined-over-tax-101322929.html

Pete, The problem I have is that I did and probably still do support an EU! That is to say I support the idea just not the way it has been rolled out and certainly not the people in charge, elected or otherwise! If we now have a global economy which we want to be part of I think the UK needs to be an integral part of a larger trading body, either that or we go our own way but that necessitates imaginative and innovative policies which are abjectly missing in UK political leadership these days. However I don't think what we have ended up with as an EU that can be changed into something which would have the mass appeal needed, so for that reason I will wear your badge! Interesting to see our local MPs fighting for publicity in the local press every week now. I wonder if that has anything to do with the proposed boundary changes and the fact that one will have to lose his seat! Cynical, moi, jamais! I think GGG's post typifies why we have been held back as a region for so long. Even returning MPs with solid majorities we never see any in ministerial positions or in fact in positions of real power. Our current MP has scaled dizzy heights and is a secretary to Harriet, a woman who I believe is a Machiavellian influence on the Labour Party. Nobody is going to give Ronnie a real job, he might be a good constituency MP but his outbursts in the Commons are embarrassing and he is likely to say the wrong thing to the wrong people at the wrong time.

The Irish Diet: An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.' When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs! 'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?' The Irishman nodded. 'I'll tell you though, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.' 'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor. 'No, from the goddam skipping'.

Love these guys...................

Never thought I would say this...................... Well done Ronnie Campbell........ http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/oct/25/mp-voted-for-eu-referendum?newsfeed=true

Not sure Italy could have avoided a meltdown given its propensity for devaluing out of crisis and German 'oversight' of the Euro project. I have always thought Italy would be caught in a pincer movement outside its control. As I said many months ago Greece should have negotiated a withdrawal from the Euro and I would have thought they would have been given very attractive terms at the time. That would have left them to introduce a currency which would have given them a cost advantage in trading terms. They would still also have had to rationalise their public sector though! I do believe it's those very 'differences between nations' which make the Euro problem insoluble. Without a tight political union there is no chance of a fiscal union working. There are too many differences both in mind-sets and working practices. The UK referendum vote last night is remarkable; not for the result but for the way it unfolded. At its very core is a populist petition which our elected leaders have ridden rough shod over and none more so than William Hague. Having to impose a 3 line whip only to see so many rebels would seem to question Dave's continued leadership of a clearly split party. One name for a successor keeps cropping up in conversations I have, Georgie Boy, flipping heck I need to go and lie down in a dark room!

Keith I couldn't possibly remeber that, I wasn't even a twinkle in a bottle of Fed Special at the time! As for all that walking Brett talks about............

DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE... A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check out counter. The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat." The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog." So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like poo." The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper." So........... Don't mess with old people.

If the current gossip about the IMF refusing anymore Greek bailouts is true, and by association that would mean Italy will have to fend for itself, then we are about to enter the endgame for the Euro. I can't see Germany being willing to take on wholesale bailouts for every other Euro member even if Sarko would like them to recapitalise the French banking sector! As for Sarko and Dave's tif……in the immortal words of Harry Hill, ''there's only one way to sort this out……..FIGHT, FIGHT!''

There is, you can devalue your currency and import even more of it……….

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense. 'Your Honor,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland .. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?' A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!'

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa ... 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'