Hamburger Pimp

You don't need a solicitor. Get yourself across here, for a simple guide to reclaiming your money from the chiselling spivs at Barclays, HSBC et al.

Ah, would that I could share your sanguine outlook, Pete. I fear a 2-0 reverse for Roeder's charges.

Nice!

Can you quote me the bit where I asked for your snidey, tiresome comments on my birthday greetings to a mate?

Many happy returns, big dawg.

I agree. Washing Andy Brown's nads is skill. I love it!

Chimps dressed as people, making with the joke funnies This, my friends, is the type of thing that Steve Job had on his mind when he tooled down to the patents office, sweaty blueprints in his hand.

No offence Ms Hair, but you've had this job two weeks and you're already trying to palm one of your lessons off on some simpleton who plays Northumbrian pipes or can recount some godawful folk song of long-forgotten mining disasters? This country.

I'm hoping I'll wake up tomorrow to find that that didn't just happen.

They won, Pete. Oba-Gol in more "foot like a traction engine" spectacularity

David.

As somebody who regularly drinks in The Sun, can I say "Good for you" to Ms Hair. You stick to your principles, girl. If you could get Mrs Pencil Neck to join your courageous boycott, that would be just peachy.

Wor Robbo got beat in the quarter-finals.

The lad that wrote it killed himself.

They will probably be concentrating on getting the site updated and working properly before doing any advertising.

Is Raspberry Absolut vodka good for washing down a large helping of humble pie, Ms Hair? Just asking, like.

Good man yerself, Pete. Rednex really pushing the envelope here

If you're anything like me, you probably spend most of the long, cold winter nights musing on the career of short-lived country-dance pop sensations Rednex. I think that it all began to go wrong with their second single "Ole pop in an oak". People just weren't ready for such a radical departure from their first hit "Cotton Eye Joe". You have to give the public time to adjust to new things. Rednex' doomed experiment

Robbo marches on, defeating irritating Yorkie wassock John "John Boy" Walton 4-3. Gan on Robbo!

Was he a little baldy kid who was texting lasses all through the meal?

I agree with Jona Lewey: Stop the carvery.

Denzel and Bar Lass... ...have they or haven't they?

Can we look forward to them appearing at Bedlington's most publicity-shy alehouse any time in the near future?

A little risqué for my tastes, Pete.

More Wurzels goodness