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I saw someone walking a Bedlington terrier up the front street yesterday, around teatime. Quite a cute little thing it was.

Well done The Toon. A one-all draw at the new Arsenal stadium is not to be sniffed at.

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I bet the drivers of those two buses gave each other a little wave as they passed each other.

Giddy up! Did he get owt?

Scared of the number 666 ?

Nonsense. More from Northumberland's favourite dance troupe This is just the stuff Bill Gate had in mind as he ankled down to the patents office back in 1978 with a blueprint for the internet and a heartful of dreams.

More pyrotechnic mackem fun Sad Mackem Bairn!

Now, if I know one thing, it's that my fellow Bedlingtonners love a bit of avant-garde, interpretative modern dance. It's one of the things the town is known for. With that in mind, I present this piece for your delectation. Peanut Butter Jelly Time

The Big Dawg rules. The Kasabians, on the other hand, are poor fare indeed. Anyone buying their records is choosing the Way of the Fool.

I apologise if any of the videos I linked to has offending your delicate sensibilities, Denzel. I would also suggest you avoid this example that some herbert recently sent me. A puerile, smutty exercise in potty-mouthed abuse of one of this nation's best-loved entertainers.

What would be the nature of said work?

I believe Denzel was using "rhyming slang" the hip new sensation that's sweeping the nation. Nelson Mandela = Stella.

If the government wants us all to use less energy heating our homes, then imposing a tax on blankets is a particularly short-sighted measure. Sort it out, Gordon Browns!

It'll never replace the good old fashioned British barmaid/bar manager. In other news, an open and shut case, no?

Nice. "Crackin' munch!" "Immense choons!" Warning: Contains swearing.

The weekend quest for a sandwich from the Spar, Blaxploitation style.

Pete, ye knaa nowt. Had your gob.

Warning: Contains swearing.

Are Denzel's postings really so bad, Swalnalla? A quick look at your own contribution here reveals mainly sour-faced griping about other members, pointless animated gifs and smilies and well-worn complaints about the local council. Not quite the combination of Oscar Wilde and Simon Schama one might expect from the imperious tone you take regarding Denzel's occasionally salty sense of humour. "Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" Not my words, the words of some chap out of the Bible. You can't get more true than that, can you?

Joe Rooney is right. They should get small children to clear up the horse droppings. He's probably right about the "this town got no soul, modern folk are no-goodniks" thing too. Good to have you back, JR.

I think Denzel has got that DVD. I still want it back, mind.