Denzel

I agree, let's leave President Blair in charge.

Come on CK, roasted parsnips are spot, and indeed, on.

I'm pleased you enjoyed it sir. Next time come out with me, I don't think a day with Hairy Heed a VP is very good for you.

St-st-st-st-student

How much for Campbells meatballs?

Rock community?! Like where Fred Flintstone lives?

Jenny's opposite The Black Bull. Superlative.

I was under the impression the operation had already been carried out and was a roaring success?

Bachelors such as myself have no need for frivolous items such as Christmas decorations. The electricity saved through not having to power lights/santas/reindeers/inflatable snowmen etc is instead used to power my TV, where re-runs of The Sweeney are gratefully viewed. And why buy baubles or tinsel when you can get four cans of Nelson from Netto for £3.29?

S-S-S-S-S-S-Sod off.

Why? Aren't you any good?

The working class can kiss my !*!@# , I've got the foreman's job at last.

I don't want spotty faced youths grunting on about how life is crap and skateboarding is good. I'm more than happy to have a game of crib instead.

I'll second that motion.

Just realised, it is, of course, 'chimerlee', as per !*!@# van Dyke. Apologies all round.

Hear, hear!!!

KILL THE *******!!!! Is that quick enough?

Onanism. Disgusting.

Well folks, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling particularly festive; it's not long until Santa will be popping down my chimney and (hopefully) leaving me a bumper crop of quality gifts. But this year I haven't asked for a Lamborghini, and instead have opted for a more esoteric item, ie a mandolin (for chopping vegetables with, I haven't joined The Waterboys). What gifts have the good folks of Bedlingtonshire requested then?

Oi, I heard that!

Parade. Rained on.

And what answers should I give?

Well that's hardly my fault is it?!

Sir, this is a family establishment.