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Why do men die before their wives?

They should.

Why are hangovers better than men?

Hangovers will go away.

What is the difference between garbage and men?

Garbage gets thrown out and stays out!

How do you confuse a man?

You don't have to - they're born that way

What are the three types of men?

The handsome, the caring and the majority

Why don't men die in their sleep?

'Cuz they can't do two things at the same time.

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

CK..are you going through a mid-life crisis or summic?

Malcolm this could be your opportunity to form your own political party for Bedlington.

Vote Malcolm!

It`s worth a go..just pick a catalogue online,say Littlewoods,pick summic small like a shirt,add it to your basket then fill in your details.You`ll know in a day or two if you`ve been accepted..then you`ll get about £700 to spend..camera sorted

But if he went to Currys or somewhere he'd get the same camera for half the price!

Not sure, i just had an idea of what i wanted it to do. i know i wanted to spend up to £600, i wanted it to be good pixelrate, as i intended blowing up the pics to portrait size, had to have a flash (attachable is fine) had to be digital, and have a decent sized memory card or 2. A stand was a must, and it had to have the option to take instant pics (not time delayed like most i have seen, i want the image captured as i press the button, not 3 seconds later!)

Oh, detachable lenses and a place to attach a stand is a must.

A plunger interface slot would also be handy (for those perfect stills!) but not really that important.

Any ideas?

So... your not fussy then?

Each to their own...

Happy Birthday, have a good one!

Have you ever let the police handle something?

a while back i had trouble with a girls ex-boyfriend. he would constantly be around the house, he scratched my car, and constantly issued threats, several of which the neighbours heard.

i was told unless he actually carried out the threat, there was nothing they could leagally do other than log it. it was up to me to take him to court for an injunction, at my own cost. they did, however, go and have a 'word'.

the next night i was driving with my girlfriend and the kids when he jumped out infront of the car. i stopped, reversed, and tried to turn round to get away. He ran over and kicked the wing mirror off my car. i phoned the police, statements were taken, but he got his sister to say i had tried to run HIM over. I was told if i took it further their was a good chance he'd win too!

The police try, bless them, but their hands are tied in red tape.

As for the 'only a forum' statement, what i mean is this place is a representation of bedlington, not an excuse to threaten people.

That bloke sounds like a right horrible !*!@# Mr Darn... but really, could it not have been him who put the note on your car?

If he's damaged it before and he's jumping out of bushes at you (He sounds crazy) then I wouldn't rule him out to be honest.

I honestly think that whoever it was, you will know them. Anyway, I hope you get it resolved as it cant be nice having stuff like that happening.

I'm happy

I think coming on here and accusing a member of this forum for leaving a threat note on your car was the wrong thing to do.

How do you know it was a member of this forum?

Are you just trying to make the forum look worse than it actually is? Because it looks like thats what your trying to do.

Look closer to home if you want to find out who did it, it is a nasty thing to do whoever did do it though, you should give them a clip when you find out who it was.

I don't think that off topic threads are a threat to the forum either, because thats what it's always been like, both on this forum and the old one.

I don't let anything thats said on an internet forum bother my life so much to be honest, but everyones different. If it's getting to the point where it's affecting your life, take a break.

As for the note on your car, I agree with Cympil - it has to be someone you know because no one else knows who you are or where you live etc.

You could always go to the police.

I accept everyone for who they are anyway, newcomer or not. Showing newcomers with a bit of respect might actually keep them here and help them to join in, instead of them joining up then never showing there faces because they get told to go back to where they came from in the Introduce Yourself section.

Everyones a newcomer at some point. At the end of the day this forum doesn't belong to any of us, it belongs to the person who pays it's bills.

In Canadian prisons there is no smoking inside of any buildings, that is until April 1st 2008 when there will be no smoking at all for staff or offenders!

Vic

It's the best way.

It doesn`t matter what sort of posts were on the forum.Why would folk want to visit a forum about Bedlington other than folk that live here or used to live here..Most people haven`t even heard of Bedlington..

Exactly...

Is Harry a Potter?

Did anyone get that? I couldnt be bothered to read through them all.

Wheeeeeeeeeeee

That still does not answer my question, is it flooded?

Take your wellies just in case Pete.

No rain today anyway...

Give it a rest, eh?

Give what a rest cookie?

...and why cant you stop hiding?

Were your cans still there?

You used to hear all sorts of rumors about that ruin down the woods. Devil worshipers, jippos, tramps and Santa Claus have all used it as an abode apparently. Wetherspoons was even rumored to have purchased the place once, although the rumor of Santa Claus living there probably holds more truth.

...Must be at least 6 foot long, minor knots will be overlooked.

Have you managed to get any snaps yet Mr Darn?

With your new camera I mean?

I like it!

Are there any left? aint seen missvic in a while...

Yes, don't you know? It's one of the top 3 rules of how NOT to moderate a forum:

• Don't visit the forums you are moderating often. Twice a month is enough. Nobody cares.
  

No.

8. Holiday?

8. LAMEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

You mean you aren't children?

You mean you aren't a child?

Honestly, your insults will keep me up crying all night. Boo hoo

About the site that is.

There seems to be a grudge against the way the site has turned; topics closed, the "three cards and your out" rules, all of us valued members being referred to as "That Lot" as if we are unruly children. I could go on, but I cant be arsed.

So what does everyone else think?

Maybe your happy with the way things are now?

!*!@#'s shop

shop fiddlers