Mr Darn

Unfortunatly, none of the above.... i'm one of the stupid ones still employed! you know, the ones that moan on its a crap place to work now, and how if a job came up waiting tables at macdonnalds we'd be off in a flash.... but never actually do! Its sad really...

Afraid not young sir! (i double checked to make sure!)

At least they traced the origins of the bolt.....

Not entirely correct there pete me old mate! ASDA, or rather AsDa, was known as Assosiated Dairys when it first started trading in england, then the name was shortened to ASDA when they went countrywide. Wall*Mart has only been part of ASDA for less than a decade, when they bought the company and the trading name when ASDA was about to go bust a while back. Its well known throughout the current 'ASDA' that working conditions, morale and the general environment were destroyed slowly but surely when the american company took over. Now i believe it has a bigger turnover of staff than a years bricklaying course has, as the conditions are so bad no-one wants to work there, and as soon as a job shoveling coal comes along the smart ones take the job, and the thick ones become ASDA managers! ...Nothing against the managers tho

very odd....anyone completed it yet? i just cant get my head around it!

BTW=By The Way

Can you IMAGINE the fud i'd have with this post if i was still mod??? my 8 button would be worn out!!!

Something i'm wondering: I know we need it etc, but i'm still wondering: if someone turned round today and said, Right. I own this land, so anyone who wants a bit of it needs to pay me for the privilidge. Also, since i own this land, every penny you earn, i want a percentage of. then, when you spend what you have left, i want some of that too, then what you save, i want some of, when you die, and give it to your siblings, i want some more of it. i want some for driving on my roads, i want more when you smoke or drink alcohol and if you fill up your car, i want a large chunk of what you pay the garage. Because you live in a nice house, i want you to pay me more than someone who lives in a crappy house, when you watch tv, i want more money and if your going for a crap, i want more (even if you dont go for a crap, i still want it coz i have supplied the means for you to have one) Since you live in a certain area, i'm going to give back some of this money you paid me, to keep the area nice, lets say £1000. £500 will go to pay for someone to decide what needs to be done, £200 to someone to agree or disagree and £200 on planning permission. Oh, and i want some of that money back, in tax. If you dont pay me, i'll lock you in a room, paid for by people who do pay me. What would we say to these people? if they tried it today? as i said, i know we might need it, but come on! their has to be an easier way!

Like bricks are? so the difference between a prefabricated house and a non-prefabricated house is mortar?

Hehe!!!

Awww, try again, thats not you!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

Mr Oblivious: At age 43 you will die from an equipment malfunction in an exciting, fear based reality game show. Your death will receive the highest ratings of any episode of any reality show, ever.

Whats Pink, Old, Wrinkly, Smells like wee and hangs out grandpa's Pants? Come on, You know you like these!!! You not got it yet? Grandma!!! !!!!!!!!11!!!!!111YIDORTYBUGGAS!!11!!1!!!!!!THEOWLDUNSARETHEBESTUNS!!!!11!!1!!

Whats Long, Wrinkly and smells like wee?? Come on, at leats let me finnish the joke! Yeah, Yeah, your a smarta**e!! A conga at an old peoples home!!! !!!!!!!OWLDANRINKLY!!!!!!111!1!!!!!ITSDAWAYITELLEM!!!!

Time will tell... Maybe the medication will kick in soon!

You think she might get that house next door to Maxine in Bedlington?

The old 'velcro gloves' routine eh?

My dad used to use cats as compost. when they hopped over the fence and walked along his leek trench enclosure, he used to get them with a Black Widow and a few ball barings! Nasty !*!@# ! Leek trench is gone now, but i had to give it to him, his leek puddings were tasty!

That was once part of the recruitment process... Basically what they did was humiliate you infront of everyone, tell you to do something, then when your half way thru they change it to something else...then something else ect ect. Its a good ploy actually, as it weeds out anyone with a short temper, or anyone that cant see its a test. its funny to watch how many say "!*!@# this, i aint doing that for a stupid job stacking shelves!" as thats exactly the type of person it weeds out! me personally, i had to do the 'house of cards' where as a group, we had to make a house of cards, but we had to estimate how many levels it would have before the end of 45 minutes. the thing was, after 15 minutes, as we were getting to the end of level two, they moved the goalposts, and said each level had to be colour coded. then, 15 minutes later they showed us the numbers on the cards, and said each level had to add up to 21. The idea wasnt who could complete the challange, but who could handle the change the best, without losing their temper, as many did thinking they had failed the interview! Others included selling a product to a manager...not as easy as it sounds when you have a tin of prunes, some tampons and a breast milker to choose from to sell to a male manager! and making a new uniform out of ASDA carrier bags, again the formula changed many times to confuse and upset people! I believe the latest one is a board game, where you roll the dice, pick a card and tell the group how you would handle the customer that is described on the card. The funniest bit is watching people lose their rag and walk out!

Well, i have heared that the market will utilise the car parks at the rear of the blue bell, opposite the library, with the market/car boot on the lower car park and the parking on the upper... anyone else heard this?

Nope, my uncle knows none of them either!

Ahhh, it was all in good fun! he also had a habbit of phoning me at 3am from down south to ask the time... when i told him it was 3am, he would reply "really? thats what time it is here too! fancy that!" and hang up.

Happy birthday Chianti! Half a century already eh??

i stand corrected!