Denzel

Does it work with Scotch eggs?

What next, will they stop pubs selling peanuts in case someone has an allergic reaction?

Personally gents, I would pile the kids into the car and drive the Northumberland Coastal Route; go through Beadnell, Craster etc for some good fresh air and some great views. Stop off at Seahouses for a whale end and chips (£3.50 per portion, economic and wholesome) then maybe finish off with a visit to Holy Island. A nice day out, a bit of fresh air, great history and some good bait. Spot on.

Christ, I thought my old car was thirsty.

Well I lifted it lock, stock and barrel from a 'fascinating facts' website; sounds good though. And mead is very tasty.

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is mad efrom honey, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month", or what we know today as the "honeymoon".

Kangaroos cannot walk backwards.

Well I'm in the minority; I have a socket set and a heatgun and that's about it.

The commonest owl found across the UK is the Teat Owl.

An impressive piece of advertising in anyone's book.

Not at all, I thoroughly enjoyed my holiday in the US, and would heartily recommend it to anyone. If it's good enough for Bruce Springsteen, it's good enough for me.

I didn't say it was my particular taste, personally I'm more in favour of post-impressionism.

A McDonalds burger bun is topped with an average of 198 sesame seeds.

Has the world really come to this?

I don't have any axe to grind with our cousins over the pond, what I object to is lazy cutting and pasting from US websites. American spellings? No thank you.

Cheers Joe! Now I know I'm getting old when I'm being referred to as a curmudgeon!

Well the Black Bridge is now at the vanguard of modern art; I applaud the bravery/stupidity of the gentleman who obviously took considerable effort to daub the words 'DENISE I LOVE YOU DAVID' [sic] in 6 foot white lettering.

I'll wear a scarf and some mittens.

Wondered how long it would take Bedlington's favourite letch to appear!

As much as I enjoy a bit of Greek I'm afraid I have no Greek relations Joe. And are you surprised to find I'm actually a canny lad?!

Ah, the carefree days of pre-decimalisation!

Bedlington is the new Pompeii; people are flocking here to look at the ruins of the Domino.

In Greek mythology, Hermaphroditus was the 'son' of Hermes and Aphroditus. My knowledge on the subject ends there.

Yep, it'll be a real chore having to walk outside.